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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:29:45 GMT
Friday 19th September, 2008. Bridgets Diary
Nicola was found by the roadside unconscious, thrown from the force of being hit by a car, a hit and run! I don’t know how to feel about what’s happened to Nicola, after all the trouble she has caused our family! To be honest I was glad when she went missing but I’m not completely heartless, I wasn’t glad to hear she was in hospital! Mainly because I don’t like seeing Mum so upset. First Donna found Nicola’s dog by the road injured from a hit and run. She’s okay, Mum and Dad have nursed her back to health at the vet clinic. Nobody could work out why Nicola would leave Bronte behind? I just thought it was typical of Nicola cause she doesn’t really care about anyone or anything, so why wouldn’t she do something selfish like taking off without Bronte? I was wrong though, it seems she did take him with her. They found her car abandoned by the side of the road, and they think that’s where Bronte was found.
All I know is that it’s no coincidence that Bronte was found injured, and then Nicola. If Donna’s in any kind of trouble she needs to own up, not run away from the truth like I did when Chris Knight died. She’s probably so confused she’s not thinking straight, and she’s letting her Dad do the thinking for her. She needs to tell the truth. As I learnt, the truth will set you free!
So Nicola’s in hospital, she is still unconscious from a bad knock to the head and being exposed to the elements. She was loosing blood so Mum had to donate some of hers to keep her afloat, she’s stable for the moment, they still don’t know if she’ll wake up.
Donna’s Dad came sniffing around, he’s dodgy if you ask me, and Paul was buzzing around trying to get a whiff of any dirt. Dec still thinks Donna’s crazy and Ringo’s even crazier to get mixed up with her. I don’t know, I feel sorry for her. With a Dad like that who wouldn’t be a bit messed up? She just needs a friend right now, like I did. And it looks like Ringo is being that!
Everything is great with Dec. We finally got Mickey off our backs. No more double milkshakes and cream donuts to and from school. He had us both over a barrel, he’s a smart kid that’s for sure. He was right when he said we shouldn’t have asked him to lie for us, but then again…. what choice did we have? Either swear Mickey to secrecy by buying him a few milkshakes here and there or have Declan murdered by my Dad? I might be a little richer but I'd be boyfriendless!
Sienna quit Nothing Doing which is awesome, for Rachel! I didn't even want to go to their first gig because her voice is so dismal. Then I found out Rachel ended up fronting the band anyway, as the backing singer! Apparently Ty asked Zeke to turn down Sienna’s vocals so Rachel’s voice would lead. Then there was all this drama because Logan tried to kiss Sienna and she quit on the spot, before the end of the gig, so Rachel had to step in as lead. I hope she seriously considers joining the band, she’s got to, she was made for it.
Be safe.
Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:31:31 GMT
Friday 26th September 2008... Bridgets Diary
Nicola’s a fake! I just had this really strong feeling when she woke up from her coma that she was faking her amnesia. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being paranoid after everything she put our family through, but I just don’t trust her. Why should I? Mum is asking me to let her back in to our lives after everything, how can Mum expect us to do that? Mickey hit the nail on the head! How does Nicola remember Mum and nothing else? I could tell she was lying. How come she remembered we live in “Erinsborough” when nobody had actually mentioned it inconversation? She covered her tracks though, I've gotta hand it to her, she's quick! I’ll catch her out, eventually!
Once I saw that I just wanted another sign from Nicola to confirm she really does remember everything. So I sat down with her and spilled the beans on everything she has done. Well, she asked for it, she wanted to know all about life in Erinsborough! But nothing - either she has amnesia or she's a damn good actor!
I felt kinda bad about freaking her out, but what if she is faking it? What if I'm right? Dec said I was just sticking up for my family. I just don’t want her to hurt us again! It looks like she’s got Mum wrapped around her sneaky little finger and that’s exactly the place she wants her. She wants Mum’s life! Nicola's never had a family of her own, no kids, no husband, so she wants to move in on ours.
Mum was so mad at me for upsetting Nicola! Blah blah blah - You know what, I hate Nicola so I don't care! Mum’s treating her like some kind of saint and Dad… I can’t believe he’s defending Nicola. So, she's coming home to live with us, just like one big happy family! Yeah right! Well all I can say is watch this space, it’s going to get interesting.
At least it’s not all doom and gloom in Ramsay Street. News came from Italy that Rosie and Frazer had a baby boy and named him Marco! I bet that was a bit upsetting for Carmella, it would've bought it all back home again! And finally, Libby and Dan have got it together. About time! Those two have been fumbling along for ages, I think the whole street breathed a sigh of relief when they finally hooked up. Maybe it’s just a timing thing…. You need time to move on from your past, heal and resurrect yourself, so you can move forward into the future. I guess that’s what’s happening with Rachel. I get so frustrated with her at times, I mean she’s got an amazing guy waiting for her and what's she doing? Hanging on to some idiot from the past! I guess she has to let go in her own time, but it is frustrating to stand by and watch her. She's so slow! When she lost Angus’ ring I really wanted to shake her and tell her to let it go but then I realised that wouldn’t have been the right thing. So I helped her look for it. She’s stuck… she’s trying to move forward but she’s scared. Maybe it’s a symbol, maybe looking for the ring is part of the process, maybe she has to go through it to finally let it go. She will, eventually!
I just hope she hurries up, Ty is so good for Rachel and Angus is so gone and she needs to accept that. Her and Angus were always destined for a troubled future and she has a chance of happiness with Ty. Come on Rach, it's time!
So, Till next time….
Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:32:19 GMT
Friday 3rd October, 2008 Bridget's Diary
Dad’s fighting for his life in hospital and the person who put him there is walking around free! Karl said Dad is suffering from “gastro-intestinal bleeding”, caused by ingesting something highly toxic. He said Dad must have “accidently” ingested something! I know there was nothing “accidental” about it, Nicola did it, she poisoned my Dad!
Zeke and I found Dad unconscious on the footy change room floors. Mum and I went to the change rooms earlier but we didn't see Dad, only his bag. I just had this feeling that I needed to go back there again, lucky I did cause Dad was laying unconscious on the floor! I freaked out when I saw him, I was so scared. Seeing my Dad out cold, I was numb with fear!
He’s at the hospital now, he’s still unconscious but he’s stable which is a bit of a relief. The doctors are running all sorts of tests to try and find what caused this “gastro-intestinal bleeding”. Nicola's the one with the answers! I tried to persuade Mum to see that Nicola was faking the amnesia, that she did this to Dad, but Mum refused to even look at it as a possibility. Until Toadie came forward, lucky he was there to back me up. He said he had seen Nicola acting strange earlier and told Mum that she needed to consider it as a possibility. So finally Mum went in search of the truth and confronted Nicola! When Mum mentioned Pete Ferguson as a possible link to what has happened to Dad Nicola jumped on the chance to reflect the blame away from her. All of a sudden she remembered Pete Ferguson! Finally, Mum saw her true colours!
Now we’ve just got to find out what it was that Nicola used to poison Dad with so the hospital can treat him properly. Also find the evidence to put Nicola away for good, and away from our family forever!
I didn’t expect that the end of my week would turn out with my Dad in hospital, especially since the week had started out so well! Rach, Dec and I went to Charlie’s Bar to see a mystery band which turned out to be “The Veronicas”. I was so excited. Rachel was too hung up on whether Ty was going to turn up to get excited with me, and Dec was excited but being a typical boy he tried to play it down. But man, The Veronicas were awesome!
That was the night Rachel and Ty got together. FINALLY!
It didn’t look like it was going to happen. Rachel turned up at Ty’s house to see if he wanted to see the mystery band with her and he blew her out. Apparently he shut the door in her face! You don’t shut the door in Rachel’s face. I wouldn’t shut the door in Rachel’s face! She said she was so mad, I couldn’t stop laughing when she told me. She said she stood there with the door in her face absolutely stunned! So she knocked on the door again and when Ty opened it she asked him once more if he wanted to go to the gig and again he turned her down and shut the door in her face! I couldn’t stop laughing when she was telling me! So then Rachel banged on the door until he opened it and this time she demanded he meet her at Charlies, gave him his ticket and then shut the door in his face. Go Rach!
So I knew he would turn up at the gig, he wouldn't dare not to! Good thing he did too as they kissed! Then Rach told me she freaked out and ran away, without explaining why. Ty is an older guy and she’s scared he’ll want to move ahead really quickly with the relationship and she just wants to take things slow. I told her she has to tell him because he’d be freaking out wondering what’s going on. So she told him, and he was cool. He said he'll do whatever it takes to make her feel comfortable. So now they’re girlfriend and boyfriend. Yay! And she buried Angus in the past, where he belongs.
We accepted our inner-cheerleaders this week as well. Donna, Rachel and I set up the Erinsborough Cheerleading Squad for the Dingoes, with Elle as our cheerleading coach. She’s awesome! She use to be a cheerleader over in the States and she showed us some of her moves, awesome! When the boys played their big game we were there in our cheerleading outfits - blue and gold and embarrassingly short - to give them a D.I.N.G.O.E.S…… I have to admit it was really fun!
And then my week went seriously down hill from there. Ringo and Declan were at each others throats because Ringo was chosen as Captain. They were fighting on and off the field and because of their stupid fighting Ty got hurt and buggered up his hand. I also had a go at Dad for choosing Ringo over Declan to Captain the Dingoes’. I feel so bad about that. I didn’t know he was so sick, I wish I had've just kept out of it. Now Dad is really sick in hospital and the last thing I said to him was horrible.
I'm just going to pray that he'll be okay.
Get better Dad.
Love Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:33:58 GMT
Friday 11th October, 2008 Bridget's Diary
It’s been a really hard week. Nicola has lost the plot. First she pretended she had amnesia when she woke up from her coma after the accident and then she tried to poison my Dad! I always knew there was something wrong with that woman, but poisoning my Dad…. she’s just crazy. Well she’s in the loony-bin now so I don’t have to worry about her hurting my family anymore! I have been worried about Mum though, pretending everything is alright when it's so not. Nicola nearly killed my Dad, twice!
And there was Mum, as soon as Dad woke up she was booking him into dance lessons! Okay he’s awake and out of danger now, but he’s not totally better yet. He’s still in hospital and he still needs to find his strength again. He almost died! I just think dance lessons are the last thing we should be thinking about right now.
And Nicola’s dog Bronte, every time I look at her I think of all the bad things Nicola did to us! I’m taking it out on a dog! I know it’s wrong. I was just so annoyed, with Nicola in a psych ward and my Dad in hospital and all Mum could think about was dance lessons! Lou thinks focusing on something positive is not a bad thing but I just couldn’t see it, we almost lost Dad! In my opinion Mum was covering up her real feelings because she’s as scared as I am.
Declan couldn’t help himself, he told Dad how I was feeling and my concern for Mum. I was irritated at first but it worked out for the best in the end. Dad reassured me that everything is going to be alright, that he is going to be fine and that Mum isn’t going to fall apart. Maybe Mum was right, maybe she was right to focus on something positive if that’s how she gets through it! I probably have been focusing too much on the negative. So Dec and I had our very own dance lessons. Dad decided he would make Mum happy and get into this dance lesson stuff so he asked us to help him practice. It was actually fun dancing around Dad’s hospital room, Dec was being silly and flipping me back and stuff. I’m so in love with him!
Rachel was freaking out earlier about Ty. He’s been acting very distant towards her and all her moves were going unnoticed. So she decided to take drastic measures, with some encouragement from Ringo, and wrote quite a sauncy note, leaving it for him to see when he woke up from an afternoon nap! When she told me I couldn’t believe it, it was so unlike Rach to put it out there like that! She said stuff like “I want to rip your shirt off and devour you…..” Wow, how cool is she! I don’t know if I could say something like that to Dec without feeling stupid!
Well... Rach did end up feeling stupid, Ty came into The General Store when we were talking about it and totally rejected her proposition. He didn’t mention a thing or give any type of sign that he liked it, leaving poor Rachel feeling like such an idiot. But apparently he didn’t see the note, it had dropped on the floor and gone unnoticed, until much later. When he saw the note he definately made it up to her! She she told me she got to rip his shirt off after all. Raunchy Rachel - very raunchy! I
’ve been feeling really tired lately though, I almost fainted when I was at the hospital the other day. I don’t know what came over me. Maybe I’m not looking after myself properly. Or maybe it’s just the stress of everything that’s happened. Dec says I need to stop worrying so much now that everything is fine with Dad, he said I need to look after myself more.
With Dec beside me everything will be fine, I know it will.
Love Didge x x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:35:14 GMT
Friday 17th October, 2008 Bridget's Diary
Fact: The thing about boys and girls is we talk a different language. Trying to decipher what a boy is saying can be a mind-field, and that’s what girlfriends are great for. Without my girlfriends to help translate boy into English I would be in a whirlpool of confusion, constantly! All this time bonding with my boyfriend has definitely educated me on the ways of guys, but honestly without my girlfriends Dec and I may as well be living on different continents, him speaking Swahili and me speaking French!
Fact: There are times when we just don’t get each other! Saying one thing can comes across as something completely different to the other person and that’s when things can go horribly haywire and before you know it your guys checked out. All his attention has been directed towards footy and you’re left feeling exhausted, drained and just a little bit crazy!
I know what it’s like to have a committed guy, who’s engaged and does his part to make sure we’re both having an incredible time together, I know what it's like because I had one. But what happens when that same ‘committed’ guy suddenly turns his attention to football for long periods of time and disconnects from your relationship? What's happened is you aren’t speaking the same language and the frustration has caused him to switch off and become distant. That’s what boys do! And us girls try to fix it, but not always successfully!
This week in Ramsay Street started out great, Dad was recovering well in hospital and it was the Dingoes’ grand final! I was listening to the game by Dad’s bedside and enjoying having my family back in one piece when Dec got knocked down on the footy field. So I had to go to the game to see if he was alright. In hindsight I would’ve been better off staying away because Dec was so fired up! He was playing badly in front of an AFL scout and I just made the situation worse by trying to fix it. Instead I pushed him away!
Dec did come good in the second half of the game and the Dingoes’ won the grand final, which was really cool. Also, both Dec and Ringo were picked up by an AFL scout which could fulfil their dreams of an AFL future. I’m not that happy about it though. Selfishly I don’t really want to be an AFL girlfriend with my boyfriend’s head constantly in footy-mode and our relationship sitting on the bench!
So I was frustrated because Dec and I weren't talking, Donna was frustrated because her and Ringo weren’t getting anywhere, and Rachel was frustrated because we were frustrated! So it was time for some intervention, a good old girl's night in!
So Rachel, Donna and I had a night to ourselves without any interference from the boys, and that included no talk about boys! But we needed to talk about boys! Dec and my relationship could wait, but emergency work had to be done if Ringo and Donna had any chance of getting things back on track, they were so off course it was ridiculous! When Donna told us about Ringo bad-mouthing her Dad we helped her see what he was actually saying, that she didn’t deserve to be treated the way her father had treated her! The problem was Donna didn’t translate what Ringo said from 'Boy' into English! When the penny dropped she ran straight out the door, fully masked into the rain, to find Ringo and set things straight. And the girl got her man! Finally it was officially on - but not for long. Within half an hour of them getting together she had bailed on him while they were making out in the bedroom. Once again she failed to translate Boy into English!
I have to admit watching the two of them try and get it together has been somewhat frustrating. I think Donna might need quite a few girly nights to work her way through this relationship. Having said that, she did make out with Ringo the next day at Lassiter’s Hotel, seducing him with her ‘special’ cheerleading moment! That was after we helped her see he was actually speaking her language this time and ‘did’ want it to be ‘special’ between them!
Another couple who have been back and forth trying to decipher each other's language have just got engaged - Dan and Libby! It's awesome news. Apparently it was Steph's handy work which helped them work out what each other wanted!
See, communication is the key and girlfriends are what we need! Now I just need some help to work Declan out!
Lots of love
Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:36:50 GMT
Friday 24th October, 2008... Bridget's Diary
With Declan’s focus now firmly on his AFL career and his endless training sessions, I have taken to reading, dance lessons with my Dad and focusing on my own career aspirations. If Dec is going to be a Football God, I am going to save lives! It’s not a competition thing, I just don’t want to stay at home twiddling my thumbs while Declan runs off into the sunset enjoying a life outside of the one we have together. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines, waiting for him while my opportunities pass me by. I think watching Declan move closer to his dreams has been a wake up call for me, it has made me focus on my own!
When Dad was in hospital I just felt so intrigued by the hospital staff and the earnest way in which they worked. Every little action caught my attention while I sat waiting for Dad to wake up. The delicate way the nurses tap a needle before administering it. I’d never really noticed it before, the hand movements, the little tap-tap on the glass, the attention to detail. It just fascinated me. So I guess Dec’s AFL opportunity has been a gift for me too, it has made me more determined to find my own path, I’m going to study medicine! And to do that, I have to get good grades at school and stay focused on my studies, even if Dec doesn’t!
As I told Dad, maybe the whole Nicola thing was not a total waste of time because when I was in hospital watching the doctors treat Dad my dream for the future came to me!! Thank you Nicola for showing me what I want to do, and thankfully you’ll be tucked away in some psych ward out Whoop-Whoop and won’t see me become a doctor one day, or have the opportunity to stuff it up for me!
Imagine saving lives for a living…. It will be awesome!
Donna was stirring things up so much this week, creating problems for Rachel and Ty. I just know whenever I have a problem with Dec Donna is one girlfriend I don’t need niggling me about why Dec’s behaving a certain way. She’s such a stirrer! Don’t get me wrong, I really like Donna, but she’s a bit clueless sometimes! I told Rachel not to listen to her about her suspicions that Ty was having an affair. I mean he was acting odd, and the secret phonecall was suspicious, but it’s not right to jump to conclusions, there are other ways to deal with a situation like that, like talking!
Donna got an idea in her head about Ty and then talked Rachel into spying on him, so they followed him to the school and snuck up on him while he was in the arms, apparently, of another woman. But they read the situation so wrong! It was MUM. I even went along for a ride, thinking that Rachel needed to uncover the truth now that she had already seen him with another woman. So I grabbed Dad’s keys to the school and we went down there to see if he was there with this mystery woman. And he was, but we got sprung in the process. It was funny for me, seeing Mum there with Ty. And Dad got a good laugh out of it. Mum was having dance lessons with Ty, to impress Dad! Ty didn't see the humour in it all, he basically broke it off with Rachel on the spot saying he couldn’t be with her if she didn’t trust him.
I didn’t believe from the start that Ty would cheat on Rachel. Why would he? She’s gorgeous! Besides, they are a great couple. He’ll come back, I think he's just teaching her a lesson.
I’m really hungry, really, really hungry, like all the time at the moment. Must be going through a growth spurt! But haven’t I stopped growing? Anyway…. I’m going to The General Store to get a bite to eat. I feel like a milkshake and one of those yummy chocolate muffins. Dec says I’m always eating…. Hope I don’t get fat!
At the moment I don't care, I just need to eat or I’ll faint from starvation, even though I only ate an hour ago!
Later….
Love Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:38:57 GMT
In the Pudding Club
I'm pretty devastated! But guess what, in my devastation I have found that Google is fantastic for distracting you from what you should be doing (like talking to your parents)! So, I found out that Up the Duff comes from a Victorian phrase In the pudding club! Great, I'm in the pudding club - I don't even know how to bake! I know it's become kinda cool in the world of celebrity to have a baby when you are really young, but somehow I don't think my parents will see it that way. Where do I go from here? Perhaps a facelift? May as well, I’m not going to recognise myself anyway!
I told Dec at the end of his football try-out that I was pregnant, and guess what - surprise surprise, he didn’t jump for joy! He actually looked like he’d had a face-drop instead of a facelift!
So Dec’s deserted me. In one day he was asked to play professional AFL and then found out he’s going to be a Dad! Now he thinks I've ruined his life! I know it's not exactly good timing but it’s not like I made this thing all by myself!
Rebecca's been awesome! What is it with parents? You can tell your boyfriend's mum but you can't tell your own. It's messed up! I had to come clean cause Elle knew… she busted Donna, Rachel and I taking a pregnancy test together. I was just going along for the ride, being supportive to Donna cause she thought she was pregnant! But when I pee'd on the stick it turned out I was IT, the pregnant ONE! It's crazy and I'm still in shock. It would be different if I had some idea before I took the test to lessen the shock! But I was totally in the dark. And now Dec's done a runner on me, behaving like such a guy! I'm really annoyed at him, so upset. He's just left me here alone, how could he do that to me?
I don't know what to do? I can't do this on my own that's for sure! It's crazy to even think about having this child, I still live at home with my parents! How would I look after it? What work would I do? Last week I wanted to get into medicine! So what now? Do I do anything just to make it work, leaving my career behind while Dec goes on to be an AFL star? I'd have to leave school wouldn't I? I've seen Carmella and how she copes, always tired, the balancing act. What will I do?
I need TIMEOUT, my heads a mess....that's why I'm killing time to distract myself. I've been playing around with my blog and it needed a bit of a facelift. Anything to keep my mind off it all. So it's had a bit of a tweek, I'm giving each of my blogs a different name and you guys can write back to me also if you want, which would be really cool!
It’s my blog of 'blood, sweat and nappies'!
Hey, the photo I chose for this week's blog is cool. It's my initiation in to the pudding club, before I actually knew I was already in it!
Another thought, google is one way of distracting you from the task at hand, but I've also noticed a bit of self-deprecating humour comes in handy when times are a little tough. You've gotta laugh, even if your Dad won't.
Speak next week…if I've survived it!
Wish me luck!
Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:41:05 GMT
Gone Baby Gone!
I just want to say congratulations to Declan for being an awesome boyfriend and making me feel so loved and supported by 1) doing a runner when he found out I was pregnant and 2) making out with a football groupie ('Skank' as Donna would call her)! It's been really difficult to come to the decision that I have but my boyfriends run out on me and I’m just not ready to be a single mother at 16! I was pretty scared about telling Declan that I was pregnant but I didn’t expect him to run out on me like hehas! And I definitely didn’t expect him to go off with some groupie! I was so shocked when she came up to us at the engagement party! I just wanted to scream at them both. I felt like pulling her perfect hair out and pouring juice all over her perfectly made-up face! Did you see how much makeup she had on? I mean I get it, she’s hot, but she’s a cow! I'm so mad. So he needed a quick fix – guess what Declan, there’s no such thing as a quick fix! He said he was confused and scared, but so am I! Would he have told me if Zeke hadn’t of spied him making out with her? I really trusted Dec. I just feel so humiliated right now.
And Where is he? I want to talk to him! I've made an appointment at Broadstreet Clinic. Even though he's been a tool, I do need him here! I wanted to talk to him when he came through the window of my room but I was still so mad at him, and then Dad had to go and kick him out and now he’s done a runner, like Dec does when things get tough! Halfway to Alice Springs by now. Rebecca hasn’t heard from him, nobody has. His phone is off.
I ended up in hospital again and I had to tell Mum and Dad, by myself. Dec's gone! He's gone and left me holding the baby! I do miss him, so much. I can't do this without him, so I won't do it!
And he doesn’t want anything to do with this baby, it's pretty clear. And I want to be a doctor. I want to go to university. I don't want to be strapped to the kitchen sink while all my friends, and Dec, are living their lives. Mum said I should start thinking positively about this pregnancy, that I’m about to go through an extraordinary experience, and that her and Dad would be there every step of the way. But how can I? What's the point without Dec being around? It would be too hard, too upsetting. He said he wished something would happen to the baby, so we could go back to the way we were before. He wanted something to happen to our baby, he meant that! His actions have shown me that…. I know he doesn’t want this.
My appointments today, Rachel and Donna are coming with me. I can’t tell Mum, she’ll try and stop me. This is my decision, and mine alone. Dec’s gone and I'm the only one who can decide on my baby's future. Besides, Dec's already made his choice!
Pretty angry and confused right now. Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:43:26 GMT
When Enough is Enough!
Sorry for the late blog this week, I’ve had a few issues to contend with. Hey it’s a bit of a bonus for you anyway, I’ve got more to talk about! Simpson thought a 16 year old waddling around at school was so inappropriate he had to invent a new rule to cover the real reason he wanted me out - which is pretty inappropriate behaviour don't you think! He was too gutless to admit the real reason he wanted me out so he stood behind his big principal mask and said there was a new 'zero tolerance towards violence' policy implemented which was the reason I was kicked out. He was just waiting for me to slip up I reckon. So when Justin kept on teasing me, I retaliated. And Simpson got his reason to kick me out. Not that I am condoning my actions, I should’ve been the bigger person and ignored Justin. He’s such an idiot that guy! Even Dad thought he deserved what he got. I did get him good didn’t I!
But it won’t stop him, he’ll continue to be a bully and Andrew Simpson will continue to be a “tool”! I guess there is a right and a wrong way to stick up for yourself, and I just did it the wrong way.
Hey how strange was my dream. That dream I had was a warning for me, somehow my subconscious knew I was going to be bullied at school. I should’ve prepared myself for it instead of lowering myself to Justin’s standards! Declan was so fired up that he did the first thing that came to mind for him, to attack when being attacked. The whole picture on the blackboard thing, it was so juvenile. I was so annoyed at Declan for acting out in that way….and then I did it! Such a hypocrite. Bad timing too, I pushed him right in front of Simpson, playing into Justin’s hands. It hasn’t been fun seeing his smug face about town since I was expelled. It makes me want to wipe it right off his face…. Yeah yeah, I know, that’s what got me in trouble in the first place!
Then the whole thing with Mum trying to take control of my life, and then Paul… jeez, I should’ve seen him coming. I’ve been soooo naïve! Maybe that’s why adults want to take over everything, I think I've kinda proved that when I take control of my future I just mess it up!
Then Toadie got me all worked up about the Teen Mum thing, “fighting prejudice to get the best education for my future and the babies”. You know me, never want to back down without a fight! Mum warned me about going public and I didn’t listen. Even Rachel tried to talk me out of it, she knew I shouldn’t trust Paul Robinson. But I didn’t listen. Headstrong Didge always knows best!! Yeah right…. The repercussions of that article are still being felt in Ramsay Street. Dec’s AFL career has been put at risk… then Dad attacked Paul, giving Simpson more ammunition to rest his case! Susan's put her job on the line and Dan and Libby got suspended because of the article Susan wrote in response to mine about Policy and Prejudice at Erinsborough High. I mean it’s awesome everyone is so behind me, but I could’ve dealt with it better than I have I think. As Dad said, it was the front page article I instigated that started all this mess.
It was pretty funny though that Mum tipped garbage all over Simpson’s head! He did deserve that.
But I didn’t want everyone to get in to trouble because of me. It’s good to fight, but sometimes you’ve got to know when to lay down your guns and maybe that’s my lesson here. I need to know when to give up.
Besides…I’m one of the lucky ones. Some people aren’t as lucky to have all these wonderful people around them like I do in Ramsay Street. Some people get bullied every day, and they don’t have anyone to stick up for them. I have so much to be thankful for. Maybe my education can wait until all of this has blown over. Maybe I need to look after the baby and I first and then think about my education. I should just let Declan get on with his career so he can take care of us.
As Harold said… young people are life’s greatest joy, I will love being a mum.
Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:43:54 GMT
Grrrl Power!
I did kinda think that the whole picket thing outside school was just another Donna fiasco that would wind up with us all facing criminal charges for daring to stamp on Principal Simpson’s holy-school doctrine! But I was wrong… and I will eat my words! The Donna-ness I was afraid of is the reason I have been reinstated at Erinsborough High with all my friends! Yay….! That and my crazy mother-in-law-to-be (can I say that, yeah I can… I’m having Dec’s baby) handcuffing herself to Mr Simpson! I don’t know which one I like better, Mum throwing garbage all over his head or Rebecca’s in-your-face strategy. Got to hand it to them both, it was gutsy behaviour. Equally grrrl-power moments I think. Wouldn’t you agree?
Well it’s been officially confirmed. Dec is moving in with us. Mum freaked out when Dec asked me to move out with him, and the compromise was him moving in with us! Poor Dad, it’s been a lot for him to take in. Well, we’re gonna be parents, and parents are supposed to live together aren’t they. Seems perfectly logical!
One thing that has been bothering me a lot though is everyone wanting to have a piece of me, it’s like my life is all of a sudden up for grabs on the public domain. I have rights too you know, the freedom to decide what is RIGHT for me!
Anyway, I was googling the meaning of 'Girl Power' and there seems to be 10 Golden Rules you’ve got to put into action before you can be honoured with the badge!
1. Be positive 2. Be strong 3. Don’t let anyone put you down 4. Be in control of your own life and your own destiny 5. Support your girl friends 6. and let them support you, too 7. Say what’s on your mind 8. Approach life with attitude 9. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can never do something because you’re a girl 10. Have slumber parties and have FUN.
Cool huh.
For those of you who have been replying to this Blog, and one girl in particular who is having problems with her so called friends bullying her, re: note written to me in last week's blog. The above Golden Rules for Girl Power apply here: Stay strong and don’t let anyone put you down, not EVEN your best friends! And follow rule number 7, “Say what’s on your mind”! Talk to them, tell them their behaviour is hurting you. Good luck.
Oh and what about Sam turning up the day before Libby and Dan’s wedding, carrying Dan’s baby! It’s crazy! I would die if I had to deal with an old girlfriend of Dec’s having his baby. Not that that would happen, cause…well we were each others first… but you know, thinking about it, it would be really hard to deal with, I wouldn’t want to go there. Thankfully I won't have to!
I’m ten weeks this week, and still no bump to report. I’ve trashed all my preconceived thoughts about pregnancy. I had no idea! Really - none!
I keep checking but nothing has changed – I’ve been talking to other women on a site about pregnancy and one girl told me I’d probably see subtle changes to my waist line around 14 weeks, but it could be a while until I start to look like I’m pregnant, maybe even as much as five months. I look at my tummy every day in the mirror but nothings going on. At ten weeks, I’m still as flat as a tack.
It’s pretty scary. My life is about to spiral out of control and my body is going to do things I never thought possible. And the whole loss of freedom is freakin me out too.
Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:45:31 GMT
A Girls Gotta Breathe on Her Own Sometimes!
The blindfold is off and I’m home safe and sound and everyone around here can breathe a collective sigh of relief. Facing your fears isn’t so bad, once you’ve tackled the fear behind facing the fear! And as for the open road, Highway Robbers can really put a downer on things when you’re trying to spread your wings and fly! I didn’t fly very far in the end but that’s okay, I guess I did in spirit, for a little while. I realised the taste of freedom is a bit bland without the people you love standing beside you. Bumping into Harold was a small miracle, I mean there is a lot of space in this world to inhabit, what are the chances of bumping in to someone you know from home out on the open road? Harold is having his operation, cross fingers everything will be alright. He’s got a big journey ahead of him. And mine has just begun too. Yeah, yeah, I’ll start to eat better from now on, but not all the time…. a girl can’t live on bananas alone!
You know getting back to my blog was really cool. I was getting a mild sense of separation anxiety while I was gone. Your comments have been really inspiring. And no Dec wasn’t my first boyfriend, but he was my ‘first’ if you get my drift! And the pregnancy happened because Dec and I were not careful enough all of the time, it had nothing to do with broken condoms and everything to do with human error! I should have been on birth control pills. So, it was our fault entirely. Thank the universe we’re both in it together and that neither of us is running away from what we created, anymore! It’s all about facing your demons! If you’re afraid of spiders, pick one of those ugly spine-chilling things up in your hand and let it run all over your body until you have scared the fear right out of your system. Only joking, I wouldn’t advise that, that’s just idiocy.
Seriously, falling pregnant is a bit reckless at my age and it was totally down to Declan and I being careless. I remember the exact occassion, but I didn't think it would happen to me! But it did and we’re here now and the only thing we can do is work with it. We will make it work, we are more determined. And as one of you said in the comments, holding our baby at the end of all this will be beautiful, thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts, I’m actually feeling really excited about my future now. I’m lucky, I have Dec.
I wonder what our baby will look like? I wonder if he’ll have my funny nose and Dec’s beautiful eyes? A combination of both of us would be really cool. As long as I see me somewhere I’ll be happy.
11 weeks and still no bump… I might not show until my last trimester. I mean really show! I’ve been thinking of names, I didn’t think it would be this hard. I like Harry but Dec doesn’t, thinks it’s too common. He'd want something ultra cool like ‘Superfly’! Yeah man.....!!! How do you come to an agreement on this kind of thing? I guess in time we’ll have to decide on something. Wilmer, Marmeduke, Junior… mmmm. Maybe you can give me some ideas…. Some inspiration.
Talk to you next week guys…
And send your love to Carmella and Chloe, wishing them well for their move abroad and life with Oliver. Wow, it really worked out for her in the end after all the pain she went through. She’s happy now, and she deserves it.
Glad to be back.
Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:47:20 GMT
Miracles Do Happen!
The Street has been full of so much festivity, with a touch of feistiness to spice it up a bit - while Rebecca gets the leftovers cause no one wants to be alone at Christmas, Simmo wastes a very expensive bunch of beautiful, red roses on a poor excuse for a man….Paul Robinson! And the rest of us, well there’s plenty of pashing going on under the mistletoe and a rafting trip to look forward to. I love this time of year, but y'know I think I'm more excited about the rafting trip we are going on than what's under the Christmas tree. Dec is like a kid in a candy store right now, checking out the presents, trying to guess what they are! I’m just looking forward to feeling like a normal teenager again, camping out amongst nature… and no parents to mollycoddle me.
My only wish this Christmas is for Harold to get well again. He had his operation and although it was a success, they did find some other cancerous growths which he needs chemotherapy for. I couldn't understand why he would want to give up the fight! I would never give in! But...Steph bought him around. I'm not sure what she said, nothing anyone said seemed to make a difference! He was adamant he didn’t want to go down the road of chemotherapy and “false hope and more pain”! But something changed his mind, maybe it was the miracle of Christmas at work, but all our wishes came true and Harold has decided to fight for his life. He needs to make it through this, he has to!
It's Christmas…. If Callum's faith in Santa can be restored, then Harold can be healed!
Default Records wants to sign Rachel up to a recording deal. The only catch is they don’t want Ty as part of the deal, it's weird! I don't know why? He's awesome! I hope Ty takes it okay. It’s not really a recipe for getting more pashes going between the two of them. I was kinda hoping they'd just be a normal couple - but sometimes I wonder, they're so stiff it freaks me out!
Well it’s official, the little midget growing inside of me has genitals!!!! In a few weeks our little nugget will be a boy or a girl!
It’s week 12 and our baby is only two and a half inches long, about the size of my thumb - pretty cool huh! And I’m now over the first trimester of my pregnancy! I'm not showing, but I guess it'll happen soon, I'm definately going to be waddling at some point in the near future!
I have been feeling some changes though. One particularly crappy one is this weird burning sensation in my throat and chest. It’s so bad, especially at nights. I’ve got to stay away from my favourite fatty foods, so that sucks. And it’s not as if going behind Mum’s back every now and then will work, cause I’m the one who will suffer if I do. So no sneaky stashes to feed on at night - bummer!
Huh, I was reading up on pregnancy today and what will happen in the second trimester, and guess what I can look forward to....constipation and gas, nice! Leg cramps and stretch marks, GREAT! Bleeding gums, weight gain and fluid retention (a.k.a fat ankles), just what I’ve always wanted!
Besides those LITTLE foibles, I've heard it feels like hundreds of butterflies are flying around in your belly when the baby starts moving, that's pretty magical.
Being pregnant has bought out an urge within me to find my real parents. I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do, and I don't want to hurt Mum and Dad at all, but for some reason I feel so strongly about opening up that part of my life, that mysterious place! I want to know who my real parents are, what they look like, where they come from, their characteristics.... so that I can pass on this knowledge to my child. So we know where we come from, our roots! So I sent off for an application to search for my parents, and it just arrived in the post. Where do I go from here? It's a big step, should I take it?
I'll decide on the rafting trip. It will be good to get away and clear my head. I can’t wait, a chance to stretch my legs before the leg cramps and fluid take hold too! My last hurrah!
Merry Christmas Everyone.
Didge xx
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:49:13 GMT
Declans Diary On Dry Land Again! Loading ... Please wait... Bridget's Diary 21/01/2009 9:00 AM
I’m still recovering from the rafting accident, what an awful, wet experience that was! But baby and me are okay. Declan hasn’t stopped holding me since he found me embracing a tree in the bush. I definately prefer dry land! Dec's warmth around me feels like heaven compared to the coldness, fear and isolation of that river! Even though I keep complaining cause he’s squeezing the life out of me, he's such a dag! Zeke’s still missing. Libby and I floated down-stream and eventually hit the bank. I remember swallowing a lot of water, struggling for air and panicking... panicking a lot! And then I woke up on the river’s edge. Nobody knows what happened to Zeke. The last I saw of him was when the boat tipped, and we were all floating down river underneath it, totally helpless against the current. And I came up… I was pretty dazed when I opened my eyes, and scared… but I knew Dec wouldn’t be too far away so I just thought I’d start walking and I’d find him. And there he was as I thought, not too far away. I should've gone with him in his boat, he was only trying to look after me. I know... I've got to stop being so stubborn!
They found Zeke’s helmet yesterday. It’s pretty badly damaged, the emergency services told Karl Zeke couldn’t have survived. It’s really rocked all of our worlds.
What could’ve happened? It’s like he’s smashed his head on a rock or something? It’s so hard to think about…. Zeke was our friend, one of our best friends. He was acting weird lately, but that doesn’t matter, he’s gone and we can’t talk to him, tell him it’s okay! Tell him we’re sorry, we should’ve talked to him, helped him with whatever it was he was going through. It’s really hard to accept he’s gone. I should've done more for him. I looked at the photos from the rafting trip on my phone, that's weird, seeing everything before it happened.
Karl’s having trouble accepting it. Apparently he’s still looking for him, he won’t give up. Mum told me Susan’s not coping well either, she’s looking really tired. It would be so hard to lose your own child. As they say, parents aren’t supposed to out-live their own children, so it’s a really, really big tragedy when it happens. This is a really big tragedy for Karl and Susan. Even though Zeke wasn’t their birth child…..does that feel the same though? Does it affect how you feel about your child if it’s your adoptive child not your birth child? Libby’s their real child, would losing Libby be tougher than losing Zeke?
Is the love deeper if the child is actually yours? I know Miranda loves me… but what about my real mother? Does she love me more? Dr Olenski asked me about my genetic history when I was in hospital after the accident. She wants to get an understanding of my health and whether I will be alright for childbirth. She asked Mum how her birth with me was! That was awkward… But I keep getting this feeling, it's really strong, that I need to find my real Mum. I need to know her, and it’s important for the hospital to know my genetic history. Dec thinks I should do it. I don’t want to hurt Mum, by looking for my 'real' Mum, but I need to do it.
It might be like opening a can of worms…. What if I don’t like her? What if she’s not very nice? What if she doesn’t want to meet me? So that’s where my heads at at the moment…. pretty messed up huh!
Tadpole is getting bigger, I’ve got a little bump developing. Dec calls it ‘Tadpole’ now, it’s kinda cute that he does that. I’m not sure I like getting fat, but not much I can do about that now. It was weird this morning trying on my clothes, they’re getting a lot tighter. We’ll have to go shopping for maternity stuff soon.
All is well. We’re all fine, all three of us. Let’s hope the Kennedy’s get through this okay. Sometimes I don’t like closing my eyes, I keep seeing Zeke’s face and all that water.
BridgetX
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:50:54 GMT
A Blast from the Past
Seeing Zeke’s video diaries has been a big shock for all of us. HUGE! And the fallout from it - Donna and Ringo broke up, Karl thinks Zeke's still alive and Rachel’s losing the plot! I’m worried about her. She’s throwing herself into this music thing, wearing revealing clothing and lots of make-up! What’s that all about? I mean that’s not bad in itself, but this is Rachel we’re talking about…. She never wears this kinda thing. She doesn't put herself out there like that. She's beautiful enough... she doesn't need to. Dec’s right, she’ll need a bodyguard if she walks around looking like that. What do you reckon? Maybe I’m being over-protective? I don’t know, it’s just not Rachel.
It’s sad that Ringo had to find out the way he did, that Donna tried to fall pregnant! Donna’s such a great chick, she didn’t mean to hurt him. I mean it was lucky she didn’t fall pregnant, it was just a stupid mistake. I think it was all about her need to feel secure and loved, and given her past and the type of Mum she has, I don’t blame her. She hasn’t really felt like she belongs anywhere except here for a long time…. I guess she was just trying to create some certainty in her life. But she knows trapping Ringo wasn’t the way to do it. (Hey just to set the record straight, I didn’t try to fall pregnant… I just wanted to clear that up before someone picked up on it).
Donna showed me the words she wrote to him when they made up. It’s really, really sweet.
To Ringo, From Donna:-
I’m not a size 8, I’m a 10. Justin Timberlake didn’t ask me to go to Hawaii with him but one of his security guards did. I’m not bi-lingual unless you can count text messaging. We didn’t go skiing at Buller every year I’ve actually never seen snow I wasn’t drama captain at my last school, just recycling monitor. And I shoplifted everyday for six months in year 8. I am a natural blonde but it’s a dirty blonde so I use unnatural products to be blonder. I don’t hate my Mum, I actually really miss her. And I swear I will never, ever lie to you again.
And then.... smooch, kiss and make up! I’m glad they’re back together, they make a great couple.
Anyway, what did you think of Zeke’s video diaries? They were full on weren’t they! They're on the website so you can check 'em out. Y’know I can’t believe that he was so angry for so long. I just wonder what caused it? It was really harsh what he said about Declan. Dec would never say something that harsh about him. They’re mates.
The biggest shock, even bigger than his video diaries, is that he could be alive, out there somewhere not wanting to be found! Karl found out that someone has used Zeke’s ATM card, someone who knew his pin number. And only Zeke knew that. It’s weird. Karl is convinced he ran away, and planned the whole thing. That he did homework for cash to raise money, that he planned the whole rafting accident to make a getaway.
What do you guys think? Dec doesn’t want to think about it, he thinks it’s too strange and won’t go there. I kinda agree, I don’t know why he would do something like that. Really? I mean did he really hate his life that much, and all of us, to want to start it again somewhere else?
I mean I’ve run off, when I fell pregnant I needed to get away but to hatch a plan like causing an accident to fake your own death…. It’s just a bit strange to think that Zeke would go to those lengths to blast his past to smithereens.
So could Zeke be alive?
Didge x
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Post by jess on Jan 28, 2011 10:52:43 GMT
Diva in the House!
This pregnancy is a breeze! I’m 18 weeks and I feel really good. I’m starting to show now, can you see my bump? A part from my friends and family, I don’t think anyone can really notice. Strangers on the street don’t notice a thing. Not yet. I think that’ll all change pretty soon. My clothes are getting pretty tight now. A couple of you have said you can see my bump. That’s so cool! I have my first scan in two weeks, Mum’s booked it all in. Scary huh! We get to see our little tadpole. I hope everything’s okay. They say the scan is to check the baby’s health, check for certain birth defects and stuff. I hope our tadpole is fine. The doctor said we shouldn’t worry, but I’m not sure, I don’t know anything about my real Mum…. I need to find her, I’m getting the urge to find out everything about her now, especially now they said they need it for the birth. I don’t know if she’ll want to meet me though. Dec said she will. Mum is a bit funny about it all, I’ll have to be sensitive towards her, I know that.
Apparently next week I’ll be half way there. I’m in the fifth month now…. Wow it’s really going quickly huh! Can’t wait to feel tadpole doing somersaults and various other acrobatics…. That will be cool!
Hey, I’ve been getting your name suggestions. They’re great. I like the idea of Harry after Harold! Dec likes some of the suggestions too. We haven’t come up with any names that we agree on yet… he’s so frustrating sometimes. Wants stupid names like Dude or Superfly. He’s just mucking around…. But I wish he’d take it a little more seriously, the name that is, I want to come up with something soon. Don’t know if we’re going to hyphenate tadpoles surname, Napier-Parker. It’s a good idea though. That was one of the suggestions in the responses to my diary. I love hearing back from you guys, it’s so cool to get your ideas and feedback.
I’m still worried about Rachel, she needs to come to terms with how she’s feeling about Zeke. Karl’s not handling it either. They need to come together as a family, to be there for each other. Not go off in their own world’s to deal with the grief.
Anyway....Paul did something funny the other day, he offered to write a story about Declan in the Erinsborough News, about his professional footie career. Then we find out that the whole idea was just one of Paul’s ploys to get Declan on side to win Rebecca back. He’s such a twat. So Dec told him off, he deserved it. If he’s going to do things to have something over Rebecca, then we don’t want anything to do with him.
Mum asked Rebecca to move in, I love having her at home, she's so supportive. Don’t know if Dad was so impressed, but Rebecca won him over within a day! She’s so cool. She knew which buttons to press to get him on side. Dec and I walked in to this whole blokey-kinda scene going on, with Rebecca sitting down reading the paper opposite Dad, both munching away on chips. Hilarious!
We found out it wasn’t Zeke who accessed his bank account, the police found another kid doing it, he said he found Zeke’s wallet by the river. It’s sad that it wasn’t Zeke, it kinda confirms that he’s not coming back. I think Karl is taking it hard, he really got it into his head that Zeke was out there somewhere alive. Rachel's just covering up how she really feels about Zeke’s disappearance by throwing herself in to this Rachel K stuff. Maybe it’s a good distraction for her…. Don’t know if she’s really under control, but I just have to support her, I guess. Just be there if and when she falls.
Donna’s taken over the whole affair, taking on the persona of her assistant. We were practicing the other day, y’know the whole paparazzi thing, getting her to walk down the red carpet. It was fun. Donna’s funny, she did this whole press conference thing, it was a laugh!
Rachel apologised for being horrible to me too, which was good. But then she got stuck in to me for expressing concern about her going ahead with the whole ‘Rachel K’ thing so fast… I just don’t want her to totally block out what’s happening with Zeke. But it's obvious that I can't talk to her about it. She didn’t like it one little bit.
Got to go.... It's Donna again…. Rachel K has snapped her fingers!
Bye.... talk next week.
Didge
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