Bridget's Diary entries

[jess]

I figured since Erin Mullaly was leaving they might decide to get rid of the diary so i thought that we should save Bridget's diary entries

the first one




Bridget's Diary June 9th - 13th


These past few weeks I’ve felt like I’ve been living in a bubble. Everything was in slow motion and as much as I tried, I just couldn’t break through to the outside world. I know I get worked up about a lot of things and can be really outspoken, but I’ve never felt that kind of anger before! I just wanted to scream but I was so scared I’d break the bubble, and for Dad’s sake I just couldn’t do that. I think mostly I felt I was betraying myself, because the Bridget I know wouldn’t stand by and watch her father go to prison for something someone else did, the Bridget I know would fight against the injustice of it.
I just felt so ashamed that I was not brave enough to come forward and tell the whole truth to the police, so ashamed. And I just wanted Nicola to just go away, she was the one who made Riley leave, when I needed him most! I hate what she did to my family.

I lay in bed every night, close my eyes and wish really, really hard, I wish for everything to go back to the way it was before the night Chris died. I want my Dad back. If I hadn’t gone behind Mum and Dad’s back and asked Chris to the formal none of this would ever have happened! That’s why I’ve decided to write a diary. I feel like that night, the night of the formal, was the night my life changed forever. Nothing can and will stay the same for me. I’ve killed someone! Although it was an accident, I know it has changed me forever. I was so busy trying to grow up and guess what…. I grew up! But not in the way I wanted.

Everything is different now.

I’m not sure what I would do without Declan, he found my necklace by the spot Chris had been found and just knew that Dad was covering for me. So I had to tell him. I had to, I felt like I could burst open with all those secrets welling up inside of me. I still don’t know if it was the right thing going to the sentencing when Dad had made me promise I wouldn’t. I’ve gone against Dad’s word again, and I’m so worried he’ll be angry with me. But I had to try and help him. As Declan said, I’m lucky… I’m lucky I have a Dad who would sacrifice his own life for me because he loves me so much. I feel the same, I can’t hide the truth and watch my Dad suffer for me. “The truth will set you free!” I read that in a book once. Huh, funny thing it was Nicola who actually couldn’t keep the truth from being heard, for once! I really wanted to stand up in court but Declan stopped me, he was worried I would go to prison instead, and then Nicola of all people spoke up. Dad was sentenced anyway, I can’t believe it. But Mum said Toadie will get him out soon.

Please, please bring Dad back to us.

Rachel was a bit upset when I told her and Zeke the truth about what had really happened to Chris. I hope she understands that I couldn’t say anything, not to anyone. I’ll explain to her one day that Declan found out because of the necklace. She’ll understand. It was good to be back to normal with them, I’ve missed hanging out with my friends. It’s been so frustrating holding on to that horrible secret for so long.

Mum is so hurt, I can tell. She’s happy that I’m off the hook, but she misses Dad and is worried that he will end up in prison forever. She’s trying to stay brave. It’s hard to talk to her when I know this is all my fault. With Declan it’s different. We understand each other. I feel like he’s fighting for me…. I don’t know why, but it feels good.

He told me yesterday before I found out I was off the hook that if I went to jail he’d break me out and we’d run away together. I liked it when he said that, he makes me feel safe.

It does feel better being outside the bubble again though.

Love from

Bridget xx

[jess]

Friday 20th June

It’s Friday night and I’ve just got home from Charlie's, and Declan and I kissed! Not just one kiss, fifty to be precise. It was AMAZING! We kissed in front of everyone. I just want to scream. My stomach is doing backflips. I don't think I'll sleep a wink tonight.
I’m so happy, I’m so happy that everything seems to be getting back to normal again in my life, well better than normal because Declan and I kissed and Dad is back home from prison.

Everything before this week has been horrible. Nicola arriving, Riley leaving, and the whole experience with Chris Knight. It's all been so difficult to deal with. I was so stupid for thinking Chris liked me and putting myself in that situation. I still feel a lot of shame about it all, it was really hard to have everything that happened between Chris and I out in the open, to have to tell my parents all about it. Then having to do what Dad wanted with the police. I think Dad thought I was so young and stupid that I wouldn’t be able to handle talking to them. It was stupid to allow Dad to lie for me like that.

Declan has been so amazing. I knew I could trust him when he kept what happened between Chris and I a secret. I felt so betrayed when Riley just left like he did at a time when I really needed him, he didn't even say goodbye, not a word! We were best friends, it was always us against everyone else. I blame Nicola for what happened though, more than I blame Riley. She was the reason he ran away! I wish she'd go away and leave my family alone.

Atleast I've had Declan. He's so strong, and cute and handsome, and he's such a wonderful person too.

I bought all of Declan’s tickets for the kissing booth charity. He didn’t know it was me and I wasn’t sure if I should admit it to him at first, all I knew was I didn’t want anyone else to kiss him. Never! I had to kill his curiosity and tell him I had bought all his tickets. He was checking out every single girl who walked in! He can be stupid sometimes! I was really worried he'd be disappointed when he found out it was me, but he just kissed me.

My lips are still tingling, we must have kissed for about half an hour, in front of everyone, even Dad! It was so wonderful and so passionate. We could have set a world record! Maybe that’s what we should do next, organise a kissing booth competition to beat the world record! Dec and I would win!

I wonder if he feels the same way about me? Maybe he doesn’t want a girlfriend at the moment and was just having fun with the kissing thing tonight. I don’t know. My stomach feels like it’s doing somersaults. Should I tell him I love him? Maybe I should wait for him to make the next move. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight. I’m so excited, but so nervous at the same time. Is this what love feels like?

Oh, and I think Rachel and Ty like each other, he’s always calling her his “fake” girlfriend. Rachel and I were being silly and talking about boys we would definitely kiss and I was going to get to Ty, but we were interrupted. I think that’s why I said I’d kiss Zeke, you know, to tell her my secret and then she’d tell me hers. I had to say something obscure to shock her in to her confession. But the moment got away from me when the boys came up.

Rachel did stop Ty from going in the kissing booth charity though and I thought her idea was brilliant. Instead of buying all of Ty’s tickets she came up with some story in front of Donna about him having a cold sore, because Donna had bought all his tickets. So Ringo took Ty’s spot. In the end it didn’t look like Donna minded too much. Her and Ringo definitely gave Dec and I a run for our money. But not quite!!!

I can’t wait to see Dec tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Love Bridget x

[jess]

Bridget's Diary 27th June


All my fears about Declan were just crazy ideas floating around in this silly head of mine. I made myself panic and worry all for nothing. Declan and I have been all over each other ever since the kissing booth competition, kissing each other whenever and wherever. It’s incredible. I’m so in to him. I hope he feels the same way about me!

We were playing around the other day on a bench outside of Lassiter’s and we just started kissing, right there, in front of everyone. I don’t care, I like it when he does that. And the guys saw us, Ringo, Zeke and Rachel, and decided to play a prank on us. So Ringo let the alarm off in the fire truck. It was just for a laugh, but Dan lost it. We were all a bit shocked by his outburst, but he’s been under a lot of stress lately so it’s understandable, I guess.

Good news, Dad was let off, he’s not going to prison, we are all so happy about it. It’s over! That whole thing with Chris Knight is finally over and I can, well we all can, put it to rest. We were all so happy. Toadie and Sam were amazing. What Sam wrote was incredible and when Toadie read it out in court you could really feel it, it just turned everything around and made the judge see things differently. It was the reason Dad wasn’t put behind bars, we are all so thankful for that. He was given a $10,000 fine and community service, it’s a huge amount but Dad thinks it’s a small price to pay for his freedom. Especially when bad people like that Pete Ferguson are there on the inside! He threatened Mum inside our home. Luckily Dad rang Mum to check on what wine she wanted for the party to celebrate Dad’s freedom. When he got through to her he sensed something was wrong and we raced home, just in time too, Pete Ferguson was there. And Dad kicked him out on his ear, it was impressive. I wouldn't mess with my Dad if I was Pete, he thinks he so tough, but he's so scrawny compared to Dad.

Dad told me he had got himself in to a bit of trouble on the inside protecting himself from some bullies. So Pete was trying to frighten him, pay him back or something. He said it’s nothing to worry about and that we’ve scared him away for good.

There’s some more news, Sam has split town. She’s gone to New Zealand to start her life afresh, without Dan. Apparently she had given him an ultimatum, to go to New Zealand with her and fight to save their marriage, or stay here in Erinsborough. They have both been through so much lately with her illness and all. But Dan still chose her, of course he would, she’s his wife and he loves her. And this is what I don't understand....Sam left him at the airport, when they were all set to start their new life together! It’s very strange. We don’t really understand why she would do that, I guess only her and Dan will know. Or, maybe Libby! Maybe she had something to do with it. Her and Dan have always been close, maybe that’s why Sam couldn’t go through with it, she decided she had already lost the fight for her marriage because Dan still had feelings for Libby, I mean it is so obvious they like each other a lot.

I just feel so bad for Dan, he’s not coping very well at all. I hope he gets through it okay. And Sam, she must be devastated, she loved Dan so much. I wonder what made her run away like that, something must have happened! Breakups are so horrible, I hope Dec and I stay together forever and ever. I know that sounds like such a stupid teenage thing to say, but it’s true, I want to be with Dec forever. He is so incredible, so wonderful, so kind and so, so cute. I am so in love with him. My stomach has had butterflies fluttering around in it all week, I can hardly eat. They say that’s when you know you are in love, for real.

I interrupted a conversation Rachel and Ringo were having about Declan and Rachel at the camp! Rachel was quite embarrassed but I told her not to worry, Declan and I have talked about it and we are so fine about it. We are! Rachel and Dec were so incompatible it’s laughable. I just needed her to know that I’m not worried about it at all. And I’m not!

Hey, I have a feeling that Ringo likes that new girl, Donna. She’s a bit weird though, well I don’t really know her but Rachel seems to think so. I have seen her and Ringo hanging out a bit since the kissing booth competition. She’s pretty. Ringo is such a good guy I hope she doesn’t break his heart, it was Ty she was after!

Declan is at a picnic in the bush for Marco’s surprise Birthday party. I wish I could’ve gone but Mum wanted me to go shopping to buy some new clothes, I couldn’t say no to that. Declan called me earlier with the best news, Marco proposed to Carmella at the picnic. That’s so romantic. I can’t wait till they get back to congratulate them. One day that may be Dec and I!

He was concerned though on the phonecall, he said he caught Paul in he bushes spying on them all. He said he felt weird about finding Paul hiding out in the bushes, but then he said maye he was there because he just missed being part of the family. Oh well, serves him right really I think.

Oh my god, I’ve just heard there’s a fire in the bush where Dec is, and Dad! Dad’s down there helping out with the fire service, doing some land clearing. I’m going crazy with worry, I can’t get through to either of them, both their phones are going straight to voicemail. What can I do? I wish I was there with Dec. I’m so scared.

[jess]

Friday 4th July, 2008



A fire broke out in the bush on a day that most of Ramsay Street were there. Dec was there celebrating Marco’s birthday and Dad was helping with the land clearing for the fire service. It just seemed unbelievable that this could happen on this particular day, but it turns out there is no such thing as a coincidence - this fire was deliberately lit. Whoever did this is not just a firebug, they are a murderer as well.
We are all mourning the loss of Marco. One minute he and Carmella were celebrating their engagement and the next, he's dead. It's like something you'd see in the movies, but it happened here in Ramsay Street!

Dec told me that when the fire closed in on the picnic they all had to make a quick decision to find safety. Apparently Oliver wanted to find the lake, which makes sense, although they didn't know where the lake was! And Marco wanted to get back to the cars which also makes sense, but they didn’t know if the cars would still be there! So in the moment of panic, they made the fateful choice to go to the lake! I was wondering last night..... what would have happened if they had of chosen to go to the cars? Would Marco still be alive now? It's just something we'll never know. It just shows you how in a split second, the wrong decision made can change our lives forever.

Dec said the smoke was so bad out there they knew they woudn't be able to survive for long, let alone waste time looking for a lake, so they found shelter in an old, rundown pumping station. Thankfully they found that! When they were inside Jay received radio contact with the fire service and found out Kirsten was missing. Dec said Ned was determined to find his family, even if he lost his own life doing so. Dec would’ve done the same if it had of been me out there!

When Ned went back out to find Kirsten, Marco and Oliver went with him, but apparently Marco and Oliver had to turn back because the smoke was becoming too much. On the way back to the shelter, Marco stopped to pick up Chloe’s nursing bag and Oliver got inside the pumping station before him. After that, the door jammed shut and Oliver couldn't get back in. It must have been horrendous for Carmen knowing Marco was on the other side of the door, banging furiously to get in. But nobody could do a thing - it just wouldn't open. And then the flames over-ran the shelter. It’s so tragic, so, so awful. Dec said he didn't expect Marco to be found alive, but he was. They bought him back to the hospital but the smoke had caused so much damage he died later in hospital.

Before he died he asked Carmella to marry him by his bedside. And they did. It’s so romantic, and so, so tragic. Apparently he died just after, in Carmella’s arms.

Kirsten is fighting for her life in hospital also. Ned actually found her, collapsed out in the bush amongst the flames. Apparently she had gone back to try and find Ned. I’m so lucky. I was so worried about Dec, but he came back to me! His hands were badly burnt from trying to open the door of the pumping station, which was like a furnace, but he's fine. I was so relieved when I saw him and Dad at the hospital. I was going out of my mind with worry. I can’t even begin to imagine how Carmella is feeing right now. The grief would be unbearable. I don’t understand, why would Marco be taken away from Carmella when they had so much to look forward to? It's just not fair.

The time you spend with those you love is so precious because it can be taken away from you so quickly. It’s shown me that every moment I spend with Dec could be the last, so I have to appreciate it. You can’t waste time. I will not waste a second of Dec and my love. Dec and I took photos of ourselves the other day, after Marco died. We wanted to celebrate our love and document it, to remember it always.

Dec told me he loves me. We were in the General Store and he just said it. I was playing with him and asked him to repeat it as I couldn’t hear him. So he got up from his seat, leant over and said really loud, “I love you Bridget Parker." Everyone heard. It was amazing.

[jess]

Friday 11th July, 2008
Bridget's Diary


Parents! Why are they always trying to limit our freedom? I know Dad is only trying to protect me but I'm not a kid anymore, I'm in year 11 and I should be allowed to make my own decisions about my life. Hasn't he had a good look at me lately? I don’t think I look like a kid anymore!
Dad caught Dec and I making out on the sofa. It was really embarrassing. It was my lunch break and we were alone in the house, I didn’t think anyone would be home until much later. Dec had his shirt off (his new T-shirt which I bought him) and we were kissing on the sofa, that was all, it's not like we were doing something wrong. Why can’t we express our love for each other openly without our parents getting all concerned and weird. They were young once, why don’t they just allow us to be young and free?

We had an argument cause Dad thinks we need to slow down! But I don’t want to slow down. I love the way things are going between Dec and I. Why should we? We are in love!

I was pretty angry about Dad trying to tell us what to do and wanted to fight him on the issue, but Dec said we should try and earn his trust so that we can be together. So he came up with a plan to strike a deal with him, instead of being at war.

I wasn’t sure at first, I had bought this really cool T-shirt for Dec from my first pay from my new job. I really wanted Dec to have it, but although he loved it he thought we should take it back, and give the money to Dad to pay for my phone bill. (I racked up a bit of a bill from text messaging Dec, which Dad freaked out about!) Dec said that doing this would show our parents we can be trusted to make responsible decisions about our lives. And he was right, it worked! We agreed to do whatever it takes to earn Dad’s trust! Parents, they just like to be in control and run their kids lives. So our plan worked, we just have to make sure they think they’ve got the upper hand! Whatever it takes, Dec and I will be together, at whatever pace we like!

It was Marco’s funeral this week, but I couldn’t go because I was working at my new job at Eastside Dingoes Sports Club. I’m working as a receptionist at the gym, it’s pretty cool. I love earning my own money! I just want to start feeling in control of my life, and independent, so I thought getting a job would do that. I didn’t want Dad to know because he’d think my school work would suffer. So I kept it a bit of a secret. Until Dec became suspicious and tracked me down. He’s so cute!

Dec and I did a little ceremony in memory of Marco in my lunchbreak. It was lovely. We lit a candle and I read a passage from the bible about love.

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
It does not envy.
It does not boast.
It is not proud.
It is not rude.
It is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil.
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects.
Always trusts.
Always hopes.
Always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Rest in peace Marco.

It’s been a strange week because of the aftermath of the bushfire. Paul was taken in for questioning, but was soon released. I know Paul is a bit morally disturbed, but lighting a fire and putting Elle, Rebecca and Dec in danger, he couldn’t be capable of that!

And then Donna was called in for questioning, all because Rachel and Ringo dobbed her in to Jay for being a freak! I personally thought that was a bad move! And now Callum is being blamed. Apparently he set fire to a shed in the backyard of Toadie’s place. Why would he do that? I guess he’s just an angry young boy, looking for attention! But I can't believe he'd light a bushfire, he doesn't seem evil!

Donna was really upset that she was dobbed in. She came in to the gym and I told her I had nothing to do with it, but she was really icy with me anyway. I don’t blame her, it would be awful to have others think of you as a freak. I guess she’s alright. I don’t know, I haven’t made my mind up yet. The whole thing with Ty, her behaviour was just so weird and now she’s attached herself to Dan. We saw her get upset at Dan in the gym. She’s just lonely and needs a friend. Maybe we need to give her a bit of a break? Rachel told me she’s going to be starting at Erinsborough High after the school holidays. Wow, that’s going to be strange. I wonder how she’ll fit in?

And my last entry of the week....THAT NICOLA. I can’t stand her. She was at the gym the other day and came up to Dec to tell us she was on our side! I don’t want her on our side, I don’t care about her, at all. And then she had the audacity to tell me that her and I were more alike than I thought. I just wanted to shout at her. I’m nothing like her! I have morals for a start!

[jess]

Friday 18th July, 2008
Bridget's Diary

We just found out who the firebug was, it was Jay! I can't believe it, he had taken Steph and little Charlie away to a log cabin out in the sticks somewhere so he could set fire to it and then save them! What a hero - he saved people’s lives from a fire he lit himself!
This week started out with Donna Freedman showing up at school in this really eye-catching outfit! She was wearing a big red scalf around her neck with the school uniform, which screamed "look at me!" I'm not sure if Ringo and Rachel just feel sorry for her, but they seem to have taken her under their wing! I haven’t got to know her much myself, but if Rachel and Ringo like her, then I'm going to have to get to know her sooner or later.

That evil witch Mrs Carr caught Dec and I kissing in school and decided to make a big thing out of it. She put us all on detention that afternoon, and said there was a new school policy on Public Displays of Affection, otherwise known as PDAs. It’s crazy, we can’t show any affection whatsoever while wearing our school uniforms. So Dec and I started pashing in protest, and everyone stood around us chanting, "PDAs". We were protesting because we were being treated like criminals. They ended up calling Mum and Dad and Rebecca up to the school. It’s so stupid. We were only kissing!

Mum and Dad weren’t that happy, Dad's just freaking out because I'm growing up too fast!! Rebecca was so cool though, we had a chat in the gym changerooms. I always thought Rebecca was cool, but now I know. I guess she's just a bit more open-minded about teenage love than Mum and Dad are. She was really supportive, she's also happy that I’m with Declan. Rebecca told me how young she was when she had Oliver - she was only 16! I didn't actually know that. She said that although she has two beautiful boys there is so much that she regrets about her life! I don't want to live with regrets, I know what that feels like and it's such a horrible, suppressing feeling. And that's what happens when you rush into things, you end up in a situation you weren't prepared for! I know, that's what happened with Chris Knight.

Rebecca is cool, her advice was really sound. She said I should be around for Declan, but on my terms. She said she is going to stand by me and make sure I do that, cause she never did. Respect! It was nice to be talked to as an adult for a change!

But…. trying to slow things down with Declan was another story. He really didn’t take it well, but I assured him there was nothing to worry about. He was getting a bit angry and frustrated, poor Dec. I guess it was weird for him seeing me so full on one minute and then back off the next. I mean last week I was ready to fight to keep things at the pace they were going, and then this week with the talk I had with Rebecca I just backed off. He's a bit annoyed by it all, but in the long run it will be better because we made good choices because we took our time.

I could’ve killed Zeke when he walked in on me in the girl’s change rooms. What was he thinking? I mean it’s where chicks have showers, get dressed, what was he expecting to find in there? A bunch of fully-clad females prancing around….. I just screamed at him to get out. The moron just stood there, looking at me. He was so embarrassed, I was so embarrassed. He saw me naked!

He was so scared of Declan finding out, it was quite funny actually, he thought Declan would kill him if he knew he’d seen me naked. So I told him I wouldn’t say anything. But then my conscience got the better of me, especially because Declan was getting so angry and weird about the pace of our relationship changing. I just couldn't keep a secret from him. So I told Zeke I had to say something. Zeke flipped out and Declan walked in on our conversation. So he found out anyway.

Then it was payback time. Declan made Zeke come out in front of all of us at school with just his towel on, and then Declan ripped the towel off of him. Poor Zeke, he was so shocked, and embarrassed. But it was funny seeing him standing there naked. Fitzy walked in on the scene, and was pretty mad, he grabbed two schoolbags and covered Zeke from the front and back and walked him to his office. We were all in hysterics. Zeke and I are even now. Poor Zeke, I think his payback was slightly more embarrassing than what happened to me, but only slightly! I took some photos, can’t wait to get them developed. I don’t think I’ll be able to publish them up here, they’ll be a bit too graphic for public display!

Oh yeah, I saw Donna do something really odd at Rachel and Zeke’s place this afternoon. She picked up a letter, which was obviously addressed to Rachel, and put it in her bag. Why would she do that? I’m not so sure about her now. I’m going to have to confront her about it. You don’t steal your friend’s things!

[jess]

Friday, 25th July, 2008.
Bridget's Diary


Donna stole Rachel’s letter from Angus! I caught her in the act while we were at Rachel's place. I just don’t understand how she would think interferring like that could help Rachel. She doesn’t even know her! Rachel was right, her behaviour is so 'single white female' sometimes!
I saw her in the General Store reading the letter she had stolen from Rachel’s place, so I pounced on her. I wasn’t going to let her get away with something like that. When I realised it was from Angus I freaked, we so had to give it to Rachel. Donna reckons she was just trying to protect her! I find it hard to believe her, but she also seems so sincere. Maybe she's just good at lying. I don't know. I do think she was being freaky though! She’s so into Rachel, and is behaving like a ‘single white female’. First of all, she tried to look like Rachel by wearing that hideous wig, then Rachel caught her trying on her clothes. Then she started calling Rachel, RACHY! It makes me want to throw up when I hear her say that. And now she’s stealing her mail.

I’m just feeling really wary of Donna. We know nothing about her. Who her family is? What she’s doing here? She says her Dad’s a cop, but we haven’t even seen him? She just seems like a loner to me, on the run from something. For all we know she could be some psycho on the run from the law, looking for someone else’s identity to steal. She could have done the whole ‘single white female’ thing to some poor chick somewhere else, and then it probably went all wrong and she had to do a runner, and now she’s here trying to claim a new identity, in the form of Rachel! I know this sounds crazy…. Yeah it is crazy…. but we just don’t know her and she just acts so FREAKY all the time.

You can’t steal people’s mail. It’s wrong. She shouldn’t have taken it. So I took the letter back from her. I didn't know what I was going to do with it, but I figured it was better in my hands than Donna's. Can you believe she had the audacity to say that if Rachel found out she’d think we were BOTH psychos’. She’s so frustrating! What a freak!

Then the other FREAKY person in my life, Nicola, came up with a solution. She’s so sneaky, no wonder she knew what to do.

So, problème résolu. All we needed to do was put the envelope back into the Kennedy’s letterbox. But we were sprung by Rachel, I couldn't believe it, after all that. We shouldn't have bothered worrying about it, Rachel was going to find out in the end anyway. I was so embarrassed! Then Donna said that WE took it. Errrrrr! Frustrating!

Rachel seemed okay about it. I think she was just shocked about the letter itself really. Poor Rachel, she was letting him go and now she has to deal with it all again. I was so worried about her. She didn’t want to open it, she was scared. But we did the right thing, Rachel wanted to hear from him, she needed to hear from him. When she finally opened it she found out Angus wanted to see her, which we all knew anyway. So she decided to tell Susan instead of go behind her back, and amazingly, Susan agreed, as long as she could escort her to the prison. It turns out that Angus is being released in a few days and Susan is cool about it! She’s actually invited Angus to dinner! I really don’t get it, but… if Rachel’s happy then I guess I’m happy for her. But something is going on, Susan wouldn't accept this just like that, not after everything that happened!

Nicola and Toadie broke up. I was secretly pleased to hear Nicola got dumped. But then again, it was good having her focus elsewhere, and her eyes off my family! She reckons that Dad kissed her. I hate her. I just hate her. And then Mum found out finally that Nicola slept with Riley. Thank god it's out in the open, I felt horrible not saying anything about it when I knew it was the reason Riley had left. I'm glad Mum knows the truth about that home-wrecker Nicola. She doesn't deserve us and now she can just go away and stop messing with our family!

[jess]

Friday, 1st August, 2008.
Bridget's Diary


I’m so ashamed of my family right now. I have a snake for an Aunty, and a rat for a Mother. Thankfully Dec is in my life, I’ve been hiding out at his house while the heat is on at home. Well actually, there is no one at home besides Mum..... Ned, Kirsten and Mickey have left for Perth, to get treatment at a specialist burns clinic there and Dad, he’s dossing on Toadie and Dan’s sofa.
Dad was so mad at Mum he busted his hand at footie training. Apparently he was taking his frustration out on the boys at training, and thought he was infallible, like me I guess. So Dad’s got a busted wrist and I’ve got a busted leg. We make a great pair right now. Everything’s busting up in the Parker family. Thanks to Nicola and Mum. They should move out together. We may as well have sold the house to fund Kirsten’s treatment in Perth, we actually don’t need it now.

I told Nicola off at the hospital, in front of her work colleagues. She deserved it. I was so mad at her. Thanks to her our family has fallen apart, the only thing she could say was ‘I’m sorry’. But she’s not sorry enough not to get with my brother and then try to make moves on my Dad, and then blurt out in front of Dad that Mum was in love with another man when Dad proposed to her all those years ago. She said that she has never lied about how she feels? What is she talking about? She asked me to lie! She totally lied! I hate her!

Dec thought he was the "King of Weird", until I told him about Nicola getting with Riley. Now I’m the freak, my family is the freak family in Ramsay Street!

Talking about weird, I was talking about getting my haircut and Donna started going on about my ‘teenage boy haircut’ and how much it suited me. Then she told me that I had a ‘pretty cute’ face. She didn’t realise how much she was offending me! She’s a bit of a weirdo, really she is.

So anyway, apart from my family goss, the other big goss on the street is Angus is out of prison, and Rachel is living in La La Land. We had a massive fight! She had the hide to ask me to try and put a good word in for Angus at the gym to get him some work. I couldn’t believe she asked me to lie for her, especially after what I’d been through with Chris Knight. She just doesn’t think! He’s got a criminal record. I’m not risking my job to cover up for him. Why do I always get sucked in by her? She can be so selfish.

On the up-side, Dec and I are amazing! I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Dec and I won’t be like Mum and Dad, Dec promised me we won’t. Our love is unshakeable.

I’m staying in Dec’s room at the moment. Rebecca is trusting us to stay in our own beds. She put the hard word on Dec, saying she’s responsible for my welfare and that he can’t take advantage of the situation. It’s quite funny cause Dec is taking it really seriously, I’ve tried to coerce him over to my side, but he’s not having it. He’s got better will-power than me, I’m impressed! He won't even sneak in a cuddle and a kiss on my side, not happy!

It's Dec's 18th Birthday next week. I’m trying to think of a really good birthday present for him, but I just can’t think of anything. How can I show him how much I love him? How do you express the kind of love you feel in a gift? I don’t have enough money to buy him all the things I’d love to get him.

What can I get him?

Rebecca’s putting on a surprise birthday for him. Dec knows Rebecca wouldn’t let his 18th go by without making a big fuss, but because there is no mention of it he is trying to poke around for answers. I’ve been very good at showing my poker face. He’s just can’t read me, he's got no clue. I should be an actress! Really I should! I’m so good at this.

I was asked to do a talk at the hospital about my recovery. Dec convinced me to do it…. I didn’t want to do it at first, but I’m glad I did cause I bumped in to my ex, Josh! He was also doing a talk on the rehabilitation process after an accident. I didn’t expect to see him again, after I dumped him I thought he’d never talk to me again. But it’s all fine, and we were really happy to see each other.

Peace, Didge x

[jess]

Friday 8th August, 2008
Bridget's Diary


I got the shock of my life when Dec told me that he saw Dad kissing Nicola… not NICOLA!!! I was so angry that I lashed out at Dec. He was only trying to protect me and I told him off for it. I can be such a nightmare girlfriend sometimes. I told him he wasn’t telling me the truth because he didn’t want to ruin his birthday night. And then he bought me Hummingbird Cake! My favourite. He asked his mum for my favourite cake on his birthday!
I don’t know what’s happening with my family. First Nicola and all her lies, and then Mum's been keeping a secret from Dad all these years. And then, Dad kissed Nicola! It was really hard to know what to say to Mum. I have been so awful to her. She told me I should forgive Dad, that it was just a mistake. I don’t know, I just want things to go back to the way they were before Nicola came in to our lives. She's ruined our whole family. I hate her. I really, really hate her!

The party was great… full of dramas as usual, but Dec had fun. Oliver broke the news to Dec that he had accepted a job in New York, so that was hard for him but he was happy for Oliver. He’ll miss him. We all will. He can be a creep sometimes, but he’s alright! Not as cute and gorgeous as Dec, so as long as he’s sticking around, I don’t mind! Poor Rebecca though, she’ll miss him. And Carmella and Chloe. It will be hard for them.

And Rach and Ty sang Unforgettable again. I didn’t see them sing it the first time, so it was really cool. They were awesome. I couldn’t help but think about how much my life has changed, in such a short time. Now I'm in a great, kinda adult relationship with Dec. Although we haven't gone all the way, yet! But we will be together forever, so we can wait.

The rest of the week in Ramsay Street has been one to remember. Angus came out of prison and he had dinner at the Kennedy’s house. Crazy stuff! Rachel is really battling against it right now. I might not agree with what she’s doing but I really do respect her ability to stand up and fight for what she believes in. I found out it was Ringo who spray-painted the words PERV on the front of Angus’ place. He can be such a dork sometimes!

Josh and I were having coffee after we had bumped in to each other at the hospital and Declan and the guys walked in. We were only catching up but you should’ve seen Dec, talk about Neanderthal man! Just to show Josh up he told everyone it was his shout and that they could order whatever they wanted. I was a bit embarrassed, I told him later he has nothing to prove because I love HIM, but he just didn’t believe me. He’s so insecure about Josh. I had been thinking about getting a tattoo, and this made me realise that I really wanted to do it. As a surprise for Dec’s birthday. What better way can you prove to someone you love them than getting their name tattooed on your backside!

I think I did give Josh mixed messages though. It was just so nice seeing him again, and it gave me something else to think about outside of my weird family dramas. But, I’m not interested in him if that’s what he thinks. I’m in love with Dec. I just thought we were mates. So I met with him to tell him to stop texting me. He said his intentions were only friendship anyway, but I don’t know…. Then Dec saw us. It’s always the way, when you keep the truth from someone, they always find out! I should’ve known better than to go behind Dec's back. Dec was really upset, I felt so bad. Thanks to Josh!

Then Donna came along with the fake idea, she’s such a freak sometimes but at least she came through with this. I had to prove to Dec that I love HIM. When I got to the tattoo parlour I was freaking out. Honestly…. It actually hurt more than I thought it would, but it was SO worth it. Dec LOVED it. Now we’re stuck together forever, so there is no need for anymore jealousy or insecurities.

I can’t believe Donna though, she’s after Josh now…. She called him a “paraletic” instead of paraplegic. Man, she can be so dumb, but then she can also be pretty cluey too. I can’t work her out! She was flirting pretty badly with Josh at Declan’s party, she looked like a bit of a fool if you ask me.

Apart from the dramas, we had a cool time at Dec's party, until Donna's gatecrashing mates stormed it and we had to kick them out. We had a lot of cleaning up to do! But hey, what’s a party without a few dramas here and there, and a bit of out of control behaviour!

[jess]

Friday 15th August, 2008

Bridget's Diary


Dec’s party was eventful, the way an 18th birthday should go down I guess! Well actually it was a disaster with all Donna’s mates gatecrashing and Nicola kissing my Dad! I can’t believe Dad did that! Anyway, I don’t want to talk about that, it just makes me so mad. Rebecca was not impressed when she got home and saw the state of the house. We had to stay up all night cleaning the mess up. The price you pay for a good party huh! I’m just glad I didn’t get vomit duty, pewk!

It’s been a crazy week here in Erinsborough. Rachel moved in with Angus at the beginning of the week, but by the end of it she was back home! It all caused quite a sensation, no thanks to Paul Robinson! He hasn’t left the poor Kennedy’s alone since Angus got out of prison. Rachel was talked in to doing an interview with Elle for the paper, in response to all the bad press they have been receiving. Paul dangled a nice little fee in front of Angus to sell his story, but because he couldn’t sell his story he asked Rach to sell it for him. You should've seen Angus, he was so cocky afterwards, I don’t like him at all. I think he pressured her into it. She wouldn’t have done that normally, she’s so private! Anyway, when the article came out it wasn’t her words, Paul Robinson had applied his midus touch! And Angus just loved the fact that Rachel had stood up for them, for him. He’s such a wuss, can’t he stand up for himself?

Talking about wuss', Dec loves my tat so much he wanted to get my name tattooed on his arm, but he fainted before it had begun! The big wimp! I don’t need him to have a tattoo to know he loves me. I do have a little reminder permanently placed on his arm though….a tiny little dot. Our reminder of his near sacrifice for eternal love, just before he passed out cold.

Mum and Dad are back together again, thankfully. I was so let down by Dad and then they came to me to tell me that Dad was moving back in, and that they were determined to stay together. Although I’m still annoyed at them, both of them, for all this drama…. I’m glad everything is back to normal again and both my parents are at home!

Just quietly, I wish they could’ve patched things up AFTER the parent teacher interviews, what a nightmare that turned out to be. Mum and Dad found out that I've been wagging school with Dec and now they are what they call ‘a united front’. Them against me! Well it taught me a lesson – to never take sides again. It will come back to bite you in the end.

Rachel had a hard time at the parent teacher interviews too. Dan accused her of cheating, he said Angus wrote her essay because the standard was University level. It was low, she was at Carmella’s with Dec and I when she was working on it. I saw her doing it, Rachel's not a cheat!

But that's not all, she turned up to parent teacher interviews with Angus on her arm. I don’t think it was such a smart move, but just quietly I think Angus manipulates her to do what he wants, because he needs her to make him feel strong. That’s what I think! I’m sure he loves her, but I do think he needs her to make him feel safe. As I said....Wuss!

He asked her to leave Erinsborough with him. He was offered a job in South Australia and wanted Rachel to set up there with him. which she nearly did - she almost left without saying goodbye. Rach was going to leave it all behind, for Angus, but she never would have been happy, because it wasn’t right for her. It was only what HE wanted. So luckily, she made the right decision in the end. She came back. She realised she couldn’t throw her life away for a romantic dream. There is too much here for her, her family and friends, the promise of a good future supported by people who love her. She wouldn’t have had anything in South Australia, just Angus. And for Rachel, that would not have been enough. I know what it is to be in love, I know how it consumes you, fills your dreams for the future… but…. you can’t give everything up for love!

I’m glad she came back. I’m glad I didn’t lose a good friend. She'll be okay, she just needs to give it some time.

Loud and proud, Didge x

[jess]

Friday 22nd August, 2008
.



Is confusion part of life as an adult? The further I venture towards the end of my teens, the more confusion I feel. When did I start becoming more aware of the world around me? When did I start looking out to see the complexities of life? I was so keen to become an adult, and now that I am teetering on the edge I want to go back to the simple life. When I saw the truth in my parents lies, when it was so easy to overlook my friends failings and mistakes.
Why would Declan lie to Josh about me? Why would he pretend that we had gone all the way when we hadn’t? Why would he want people to think that I’m easy? I’m so confused about how I feel about Declan right now, I wish I didn’t know what he said about me and I wish I knew what Josh was playing at? Why do things become so complicated when we get older?

The truth about Josh – he is a guy who understands little about himself. He sits in his self-pity focusing on what he doesn’t have. Is that why he wants me? He looks at other guys as competition, as if they are more than the sum of his parts! To prove that he is more than he is he goes after what is in direct competition to him. So he wants what Declan's got - me! I thinks that is what is happening. He doesn’t understand that the sum of a person is what lies beneath the surface, kindness, honesty, humility, integrity. Unfortunately, I wonder sometimes if Declan has these traits. I thought he did! To think I was considering taking our relationship to the next level! Not with Declan, he’d just tell the whole world about it. As Donna said, I need to do it with someone special. Right now Declan is not being that special someone to me!

Nicola’s moved next door, into Toadie’s house. I can’t believe he’s taken her in. That woman does not deserve any pity, she’s a selfish woman with little understanding of morals. She would quite willingly split my family apart for the sake of her own happiness. She would rather hurt me than be hurt herself. She would rather take what is not hers and live a lie than seek the truth of her own existence. I loath her with a passion like no other. I have thought very hard about all of this, and this is what I have come up with. She is not worthy of my family’s understanding. She does not deserve anyone’s pity. She should be put in exile, for ever and a day!

Rachel was copping a lot of grief from the creeps at school about her relationship with Angus. She’s a good person, she just fell for the wrong guy and now she is paying the price for that. Justin and his band of followers were all over her like a rash, making stupid, schoolboy remarks around her. Rachel is so much better than they are, I think they know that too, that’s why they are doing this. Justin is jealous he can’t get someone like Rachel, so he’s trying to make her feel bad.

Poor Ty. He’s a good guy really. He copped it though when Rachel clobbered him over the head with a cricket bat. With everything that’s been going on in her life, she’s a bit freaked out. It's any wonder she thought Ty was an intruder when she was babysitting the boys, unfortunately she hit him over the head. Ouch!. Ty’s a bit hurt by it, his male pride took the brunt of the beating I reckon. They’ll be alright, they’ll make up I’m sure. He’s more hurt by the fact that Rachel actually thought he could be her stalker, than physically being beaten over the head!

I found out Mum and Dad haven’t actually been sleeping in the same room since we’ve moved back home. I can’t believe they lied to me about what was going on! They could’ve just told me the truth, that they were trying to make it work, instead of pretending everything was fine. They’ve hurt me. They’re the adults, why do I have to teach them how to behave?

It’s not much fun being Donna’s slave, she’s nuts. All she wants to do is make me up and treat me like some play-thing, like I’m her doll. Having said that, I’d rather be her slave right now than Delcan or Josh's slave after the way they’ve been behaving. Such idiots!

The life of Bridget Parker – this week I’m fed up with lies on Ramsay Street - les mensonges, les mensonges, les mensonges!

Love, Didge x

[jess]

friday 29th August, 2008
Bridget's Diary


I started out the week racking my brains, trying to come up with some sort of explanation as to why guys are so stupid! I’m still none-the-wiser at the end of the week, but one good thing came out of what happened between Josh and Declan…. Declan admitted he was an idiot!
Why on earth did Josh think I would be impressed by him competing with my boyfriend for my attention? I thought he was a nice guy before he started playing games. Are all guys so clueless? Do we always have to spell things out for them? It’s like life is just one big game of trial and error for them?

Declan stupidly agreed to play a game of wheelchair basketball with Josh – and the prize was me! I couldn’t believe that Declan actually did it, he used me as some sort of trophy. I was furious - first he lies about us going further than we have, and then he plays a stupid game of murderball to win me. He already had me, why would he throw me away like that?

Josh tried to make up a dumb story in order to shift the blame onto Declan, but I wasn't going to fall for his games again. I don’t understand, he use to one of the nice guys. He blamed the wheelchair for his behaviour, said he was sick of being second best or something like that. I told him it had nothing to do with the wheelchair, I just like Declan more than I do him. I think he'll leave us alone now!

Anyway, Donna’s officially as mad as a cut snake! She took Rachel to Triple E to swindle some air time on Fred and Big Tommo’s show, and she got it. Poor Rach, Donna spilled her personal details all over the airwaves. But.... it did work a treat in the end. Rachel's love song dedication to Ty scored his band two gigs, with a female singer, GO RACHEL! What I wanna know is, how did Donna become such a wheeler and dealer?

Fitsy got us all to do an IQ test in psych class, which didn’t go down so well, it turned into a who's brainier than who competition! Ringo seemed quite upset by it afterwards, so I gathered he got a bad score. He's one of the good guys, always caring and considerate of others, and brave! He saved Carmella and Chloe this week from being overcome by gas. It wasn't his IQ that saved them, it was his commonsense! Besides, look at Declan, he got a really high score on his IQ test and he acts like a complete moron at times!

Dec and I have made up though…. He maybe an idiot at times but atleast he admitted it. I had to forgive him, just quietly I was miserable without him too. Besides, he promised to shout me a sundae!

Then to top the week off, Riley called. He rang from Sydney. I had to tell Mum and Dad, although he told me not to. How else was I going to get to Sydney without sending them into a wild panic, with Mickey missing and all, they didn't need me to worry about. So, I’m off to Sydney tomorrow, to see Riley….. I can’t wait.

See you all next week.

Didge x

[jess]

Friday 5th September, 2008


Well here I am in Sydney. I’m having a great time, but I miss home and Dec - sad aren't I! Sydney is massive and the public transport is really bad, I reckon they need trams! Anyway, the real reason I'm here is to see Riley and convince him to come home. I don't think I'm going to be successful, he's different now....our relationship feels different now.
Riley's working for some internet company sub-editing. He likes it, although I think it sounds really boring! He has no real friends down here, but he seems to want to stay, don't ask me why!

Something’s different between us, I’m not sure if it’s me, him, or both of us. Maybe what happened between Nicola changed our relationship forever. Talking to him has made me realise that what went on between him and Nicola wasn't all Nicola's fault. He said he had a crush on her for a long time, but.... that was it, he didn't want to talk about it. I think Riley’s doing what he does best, just running away.

So, apart from having a wonderful break in Sydney, coming here has been a waste of time. Riley doesn’t want to talk about coming home. I told him how much Mum and Dad miss him, and that they don’t care about what happened, they just want him home. He just shrugged! I mean, what do I tell Mum and Dad? It’s like he’s shut the door on everything to do with his life back here, including us.

He’s the crappiest brother in the world!

He’s hardly done anything with me since I've been in Sydney. I’ve spent a lot of time by myself basically. Wondering around this big city, beautiful as it is, has been quite lonely. One thing I've done alot of is thinking! I’ve had a lot of time to do that.

Before I left, Dec and I talked about some pretty full-on stuff, about moving our relationship on to the next level. I wasn’t sure I was ready when Dec asked me to sleep one more night at his, in his bed! But now I know I am. Being away from him has made me realise. I know how much we both mean to each other. Dec has rung me everyday, twice, sometimes three times, and we text all the time. We miss each other. I know he’s the right one.

Donna said you need to wait for that someone special. Well, Dec’s that someone special. So, I’m ready now.

I am going to tell Dec when I get back. But first of all, I’m going to talk to Rachel. I want to make sure I’m doing the right thing before I tell Dec. I don’t want to get him all worked up, and then get scared and back out. I need to get some advice first, to make sure I’m ready and know exactly what I’m doing.

It’s pretty scary, it’s such a big decision, but it’s also exciting. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, nobody would care about me like Dec does.

So….. right time, right person.

I'm looking forward to getting back to Ramsay Street, to seeing Mickey too, thank god they found him. And most of all, seeing Dec. They won their footy game, and have their final next week. I don't want to get in the way of Dec's big game. I get back just before it, so I'll make sure I don't see him before the game, so he can concentrate on that. Then when he's won the final, I'll surprise him!

I'm going to get my hair done tomorrow, I want to go back looking different for Dec.

Love from Sydney

Didge x

[jess]

Friday 12th September, 2008
Bridget's Diary


What can I say about the first time? Dec was so tender. He made me feel so loved and special, but we were both so nervous there is definately room for improvement, lots of room! The nerves did subside when Dec started kissing me....and then the kissing turned to cuddling and ... well I don't really want to go into detail.... but it was over so quick! I can't say it was AMAZING but I don't care, I was just glad that I didn't regret it afterwards. It felt right, for both of us. Dec says it will get better with time.
The whole experience for Dec and I was amazing on a completely different level, because of the closeness we feel with each other now. I didn't realise it would do this, our connection is even stronger than before, if that's possible!

Declan skipped a really important footie match to be with me. He was worried I was going to dump him, as if! So stupid! I don’t know why he thought that? I missed him so much when I was in Sydney. We spoke every single day, many times a day. He was so cute when I told him I actually wanted to move on to the next level in the relationship, not dump him!

I had a lot of time to think when I was in Sydney. I don’t want to be like Riley and run away from everything. I don’t want to miss out on anything because I’m afraid. That’s why I want Dec to be the one. I love Dec and I want to experience EVERYTHING with him. I want to be EVERYTHING to him, and for him to be EVERYTHING to me.

And now we are!

Mickey is being such a little creep. He and Lou came home from their trip to Adelaide, and almost sprung Dec and I on the couch. Luckily we managed to escape Lou catching us, but Mickey saw us. It was pretty embarrassing, and awkward. And now he’s bribing us because we told him not to say anything to anyone. So, our moment was broken! We couldn’t get back to that magical place, not with the little menace on our mind, and worrying about whether he’d blab or not!

I told Dec he should catch up with the footie team and see if they won, and face the music, in the form of my Dad! The Dingoes did win, luckily for Dec, Dad would've killed him I think. But for us, this day was far more important than any footie match. Dec said it was weird being around everyone afterwards. He said he felt like everyone could see right through him. I know what he means, when I saw Mum and Dad later I felt the same. I had this feeling that I had crossed a line into their world! No longer a teenager, now a woman. All I could think about was whether they could see this change in me or not?

Dec came over for dinner that night and I couldn’t keep away from him. It became like a little game to me. I just wanted to burst out laughing at times. Dec was trying so hard to keep it together, but I was playing footsies with him under the table, and he was giving me these looks, while Dad was breathing down his neck. Dad kept asking Dec what his story was? He couldn’t answer. I don’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry, or run away! Let’s just say it was ridiculously awkward, but so worth it!

In love.

Didge x

[jess]

Friday 19th September, 2008
Bridgets Diary


Nicola was found by the roadside unconscious, thrown from the force of being hit by a car, a hit and run! I don’t know how to feel about what’s happened to Nicola, after all the trouble she has caused our family! To be honest I was glad when she went missing but I’m not completely heartless, I wasn’t glad to hear she was in hospital! Mainly because I don’t like seeing Mum so upset.
First Donna found Nicola’s dog by the road injured from a hit and run. She’s okay, Mum and Dad have nursed her back to health at the vet clinic. Nobody could work out why Nicola would leave Bronte behind? I just thought it was typical of Nicola cause she doesn’t really care about anyone or anything, so why wouldn’t she do something selfish like taking off without Bronte? I was wrong though, it seems she did take him with her. They found her car abandoned by the side of the road, and they think that’s where Bronte was found.

All I know is that it’s no coincidence that Bronte was found injured, and then Nicola. If Donna’s in any kind of trouble she needs to own up, not run away from the truth like I did when Chris Knight died. She’s probably so confused she’s not thinking straight, and she’s letting her Dad do the thinking for her. She needs to tell the truth. As I learnt, the truth will set you free!

So Nicola’s in hospital, she is still unconscious from a bad knock to the head and being exposed to the elements. She was loosing blood so Mum had to donate some of hers to keep her afloat, she’s stable for the moment, they still don’t know if she’ll wake up.

Donna’s Dad came sniffing around, he’s dodgy if you ask me, and Paul was buzzing around trying to get a whiff of any dirt. Dec still thinks Donna’s crazy and Ringo’s even crazier to get mixed up with her. I don’t know, I feel sorry for her. With a Dad like that who wouldn’t be a bit messed up? She just needs a friend right now, like I did. And it looks like Ringo is being that!

Everything is great with Dec. We finally got Mickey off our backs. No more double milkshakes and cream donuts to and from school. He had us both over a barrel, he’s a smart kid that’s for sure. He was right when he said we shouldn’t have asked him to lie for us, but then again…. what choice did we have? Either swear Mickey to secrecy by buying him a few milkshakes here and there or have Declan murdered by my Dad? I might be a little richer but I'd be boyfriendless!

Sienna quit Nothing Doing which is awesome, for Rachel! I didn't even want to go to their first gig because her voice is so dismal. Then I found out Rachel ended up fronting the band anyway, as the backing singer! Apparently Ty asked Zeke to turn down Sienna’s vocals so Rachel’s voice would lead. Then there was all this drama because Logan tried to kiss Sienna and she quit on the spot, before the end of the gig, so Rachel had to step in as lead. I hope she seriously considers joining the band, she’s got to, she was made for it.

Be safe.

Didge x