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Post by Bee on Jan 18, 2010 10:09:09 GMT
It was Christmas Eve 2011 and India and I were over at Laura and Josh's house celebrating the birth of their daughter on the 20.12.2011 and Christmas all in one package before leaving for our families houses to celebrate Christmas the following day.
"Nick's coming over at 8" Josh told Laura as she brought out some gingerbread men for us to eat.
She dropped the aluminium tray on the floor and ignoring this yanked Josh back into the kitchen to talk.
India sent me a look as if to say "can i have one of those biscuits that Roger the dog is now consuming off the floor".
I looked over at Mark who was sitting on the recliner opposite watching the TV but i could also tell that he was listening intently for any signs of disturbance from the kitchen.
"What's wrong with Nick?" I asked, "Wait who is Nick?".
"Laura's brother" Mark whispered nodding towards the door as if to say 'they can hear us!'.
"What's wrong with him?" I asked.
"Laura and Nick have never gotten along" Mark told me, "She's going to kill Josh once she finds out that he's told Nick about their engagement".
"Why?" I asked.
"You'll find out" Josh told me.
I sent him a weird look before running over to my daughter who had just picked a half licked gingerbread man out of Roger's mouth.
"Indy no!" I told her and with that i had a tantrum on my hands.
"Better you then me mate" Mark said grinning as i tried to calm my daughter down with promises of gingerbread men later.
"I'm not speaking to you, go away" Laura came back into the room red in the face.
Neither Mark nor I spoke for a few minutes letting Laura calm down for a bit.
"So..." Mark said.
"I CANT BELIEVE HE TOLD NICK THAT WE ARE ENGAGED!" Laura ranted.
"You have a baby together..that's the next step?" I said in a questioning tone.
"NICK DIDNT NEED TO KNOW!" Laura hurled a pillow at me which upset India some more.
"Good one" I said glaring at her before stepping outside to fresh are and where Roger was now being kept.
"Go play with Roger for a bit Indy just dont eat things out of his mouth!" I told her as she ran over to him getting her new pink dress that her grandmother sent her for an early Christmas present dirty in the process.
'Like mother like daughter' i thought before discovering that Josh was out here sitting on a bench.
"Hey mate you okay?" I asked him.
"Fine just keeping away from my fiance for a while" He told me, "Sit down if you want".
"Sure" I said sitting next to him, "So why does she hate Nick so much?".
"She doesnt hate him but he's always been a pain to her, just after Laura was born her father died from cancer and her mother remarried a year later and had Nick to the new man" He explained, "Laura had this toy lion that her dad had bought her the day she was born and had wrote a message on it saying that he loves her and knew that he wasnt going to be there to see her grow up but he hoped that she'd grow up to be a good person and all this stuff".
I nodded sadly thinking of Bridget and how her last wish from me was that i'd look after our daughter.
"Sorry your wife" Josh said concerned seeing my face.
"No it's fine keep going" I told him.
"Your sure?" He asked.
"Yep" I nodded.
"Okay well Nick got a hold of it one day when Laura ate all the ice cream and burnt the lion right in front of her in the Canara" He told me, "She's never forgiven him and so they've had this petty war ever since".
"So why doesnt she want him to know about you two being engaged?" I asked him.
"Because she's worried that he'll take me away from her like everything else" He explained.
I nodded, "So they've never made up?".
"No she hates him but he has spent the last 2 years trying to make it up to her and even gave Charlotte a lion when she was born with a message on it from him as a way of making it up to her" He told me, "Needless to say she burnt that in the Canara but not in front of him even though i'm sure she'd take great pride in doing so".
"JOSHUA YOU BIG SOFTY ASKING MY BIG SISTER TO MARRY YOU!" A tall brown haired man came around the corner holding my daughter, "I'm guessing she belongs to you?".
I nodded taking India off him, "Thanks for that".
"That's okay she was just playing with the dog when i came in" He told me.
"Yeah i know?" I said quizzingly like he thought that i didnt know what my own daughter was doing.
"So where's my big sis?" Nick asked throwing his arm around Josh and leading him inside, "Oh and my niece i want to see her tonight too!".
I wandered in after them and sent Josh a look who was looking over his own shoulder apologetically at me.
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Laura screamed which woke Charlotte up from upstairs.
tbc...
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Post by suse on Jan 18, 2010 10:35:34 GMT
Fantastic updates Lia ;D. Love it!!!!
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Post by sophie on Jan 18, 2010 14:07:43 GMT
Great update!
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Post by Bee on Jan 22, 2010 11:39:50 GMT
There was a stand off in the middle of the kitchen, Laura was holding a knife very threateningly and Nick was standing opposite her looking smug.
"Put the knife down" He told her.
Laura glared at him, "Get out of my house" she said more calmly.
"I'm here to see my family" he told her, "which means my niece".
"You're not going anywhere near my daughter!" She told him, "Are you going to burn all her personal possessions too?".
He shook his head, "Loz i was a stupid kid and i was annoyed at you! it didnt mean anything!".
"That toy was the ONLY thing i had from my father!" She snapped at him, "I will NEVER get to know my father the way you know yours!".
"Loz there's something else" He told her, "Mum asked me to keep it a secret from you but she has a video that your dad recorded for you".
Laura dropped the knife and i winced as it hit the floor and cut into it from an angle and narrowly missed her foot.
"He what?" She asked, "Why was this a secret?".
"Your dad didnt want you to see it til you were old enough to understand the meaning of it, i have it at home but you're going to have to come watch it tomorrow" he told her.
"How do i know you're not lying?" She asked.
"Loz i'm your kid brother would i lie to you?" He asked.
"Yes" Laura, Mark and Josh said at the same time.
"I wouldnt!" He cried out.
"Fine" Laura said, "But if you dont have a video from him then this knife is going somewhere and it wont be the knife rack!".
Nick nodded before heading up to Charlotte's bedroom to retrieve her as she was still screaming her head off.
India yawned and pressed her face into my shoulder as if to say "daddy it's time for bed".
"She's tired" I told everyone, "We'd better head off anyway we are driving to Melbourne tomorrow morning".
They all nodded and came to hug us and wish us a merry christmas.
"This is for Indy" Laura pressed a small box in my hand, "Seeya Dec".
I smiled at them then went to get Indy's nappy bag before leaving.
Coming home on Christmas Eve was always hard for me to do, Bridget would have been her, she was meant to be here! this was now India's 3rd Christmas and her mother was nowhere in sight. It seemed wrong...it was wrong...for my wife who would have just turned 20 to be taken away from her family, her parents Steve and Miranda, her brother Riley, Me her husband and our little girl, the girl that was only 3 weeks old when her mother died. India knew who she was but in her mind as a 2 year old Bridget was a mythical goddess from another world, not her mother. It saddened me to think that but i guess my image of my father was always a scary monster so India's must be a goddess, the perfect woman, mother, friend. I missed Bridget more and more everyday and although they say time eases all wounds this has never been healed for me.
I put India to bed under her pink doona and watched her little chest rise and fall for a few moments. What a wonderful gift Bridget had left me with though, a little princess to love and spoil. This little girl was only here because we loved eachother and everytime i look at her i am reminded of this great love i felt once for a girl, a woman, my soulmate.
I kissed India's forehead before whispering "Merry Christmas princess" and i left the door ajar for her before heading up to my bedroom where i got into bed.
Bridget's photo always sat on my bedside table, it was her on our wedding day. I kissed it and whispered "Merry Christmas Didge, I love you and i wish you were here to celebrate with me and our little girl".
I gently laid back in my bed and turned the light off and began the night of restless sleep that my body had planned for me.
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Post by suse on Jan 22, 2010 12:15:52 GMT
Fantastic Lia ;D.
I love how he is still missing her.
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Post by Han on Jan 22, 2010 22:39:34 GMT
Only started reading this today but it's great Lia!
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Post by sophie on Jan 22, 2010 23:55:52 GMT
Great update! ;D
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Post by Bee on Jan 23, 2010 2:22:02 GMT
"Sweetheart!" Mum cried excitedly when India and I walked through the door at 4pm the next day.
"Hey" I walked over and hugged her and kissed her cheek.
"Daddy" India called.
I turned around and I was amused by India standing there, hands on hips, wanting attention.
"Indy!" Mum reached down and picked her up, "I missed you!!".
India looked slightly uncomfortable and i didn't really blame her, she hadn't seen her grandma 10 months, she's bound to forget her a bit.
India reached over to me from mum's arms and i took her, "How about we open the presents from Santa Clause?".
India nodded happily as i turned to mum, "Are Ollie, Carm and the kids here?".
"Yeah they arrived about 10 minutes before you did" Mum said peeling potatoes, "Ollie's outside with Paul and Carm is across the road at the Kennedy's with the kids".
I nodded before putting India on the ground, "We have to wait for everyone to get here" I told her, "When they come inside we can open the presents from Santa, how about you go find Grandpa Paul and Ollie and get them to come in?".
India nodded before skipping to the back door as i rushed outside to the car to grab her presents out before she saw them.
"What did you get her?" Mum asked as i set them under the Christmas Tree.
I shrugged, "You'll have to wait and see!".
Mum rolled her eyes, "Do you remember when you caught me doing this one year?".
I nodded smiling, "You told me that Santa got confused and posted them instead of sending them down the chimney!".
"It worked though didn't it!" She smiled.
"Yeah for a year, but then Ben James proved to me that he didn't exist" I said, "It doesnt matter all i ever wanted for Christmas was to spend it with family anyway!".
Mum smiled nodding, "We've got a good one now dont we?".
"Yeah, someones missing though" I looked at the wedding ring on my finger, "I miss her so much mum".
"I know sweetheart" Mum said, "She's looking down on you and India now though and she'd tell you to get a move on and let you daughter open her presents now".
"She would wouldnt she?" I smiled.
"Alright everyone ready to open some presents?" Oliver came in with India on his shoulders.
"Yeahh!!" India cried out climbing down from Olivers shoulders onto the ground and running to the tree.
"Present time!" Chloe and her little sister Grace both ran to the tree.
Oliver and I stood back and watched our kids open the presents addressed to them.
"Daddy look!" India held up some of the presents, "This is what i wanted!".
"Santa chose well didnt he?" I asked her smiling.
India nodded, "Thankyou Santa!".
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Post by Han on Jan 23, 2010 2:35:13 GMT
naw Lia that was so sweet
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Post by Bee on Jan 23, 2010 9:53:14 GMT
Christmas was always an occasion where mum cooked and cooked for hours on end. When i was a kid she used to send me to our next door neighbours house to cook. I hated it, our next door neighbours name was Mrs Kravatz. Her house smelt like a cat or two had died in it about 45 years ago and she'd never bothered to get rid of them. She used to sit me down in front of the TV and then watch her soaps and tell me about her 'barsted ex hubby' and how he could never live up to the men on the soap. I remember one character off that soap's name was Lennie Kravatz and i think Mrs Kravatz actually imagined that he was her husband.
Then after mum was finished cooking Mrs Kravatz would send me home and we would have a roast dinner with pumpkin, potato and broccoli. I loved sitting with mum and talking about Christmas and about the presents i get from Santa with her.
After Dinner mum would let me stay up late playing with my toys while she had a few of her own friends over for a mini christmas party.
This is how i imagined my own Christmas when my daughter is in her teens although i think she'd be doing the cooking for me and probably send me away so that she would have the kitchen to herself.
Tonight's Christmas was no exeption to the food rule as mum and Carmella brought out plate after plate of food and by the end we were all feeling very full and sleepy.
India ran off after dinner to play with her cousins and I sat talking to my family.
"Elle had the baby the other night too Dec" Mum mentioned, "She had a boy Jack".
"Oh" I said in surprise forgetting that Elle was pregnant in the first place, "She never seemed like she'd have a baby, i mean remember when Indy was born?".
Mum laughed and nodded, "She didnt seem keen on holding Indy did she?".
"Speaking of babies" Oliver cleared his throat, "Mum you're going to be a grandma again!".
"Oh my god!" Mum ran over to Carmella and hugged her, "Congratulations guys!".
"Thanks" Oliver grinned.
"Congrad's mate" I held out my hand for him to shake before asking mum to look after India for a bit.
I walked out to my car and got in, i knew that i should be happy for my brother but it brought back the fact for me that India would always be an only child. I could never move on from Didge let alone have children with someone else. I just wished Bridget was around for me, It brought me to wonder, if Bridget had been here now, would we have another baby? or would we wait a few more years? would i be going to uni? or would Didge follow her dream and go to Uni whilst i worked to support us? what would Didge have gotten India for Christmas? how many presents would India have gotten from her mother? I just felt so helpless and alone, I wished my wife was here, I just wanted to feel loved again.
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Post by sophie on Jan 23, 2010 12:29:29 GMT
Oh that was so sad at the end! Poor Declan!
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Post by Bee on Jan 23, 2010 14:38:17 GMT
The following day was spent with my friends from high school as we caught up on what had happened since i left for Sydney (I hadn't been back because India's last Christmas was spent in Oakey with her other grandparents).
"Oh my god! look at my little goddaughter! come here sweetheart!" Donna took India from my arms and hugged her.
India looked even more unsure about Donna then she did with my mum last night so i took her back and put her on the ground, "Go play with Amery's toys over there Indy".
India wandered off to them as i talked to Ringo and Donna, "So how's life?".
"We're getting married" Donna grinned holding up her hand for me to see, "Next week, we planned it so you'd be here for the wedding".
"What!" I cried, "You couldnt have given me any notice could you?".
"Like you can talk about notice! you married Didge the same day you found the church!" Donna said jokingly.
"Point taken" I shrugged, "Where are you getting married?".
"Umm that's the thing..." Donna looked uncomfortably at Ringo, "We wanted to get married in that little church you and Didge got married in..it's fine if you say no!".
I shook my head as tears started to threaten my eyes, "It's fine guys" I said but i didnt mean it, i wanted it to be our special place, the place were Declan Napier and Bridget Parker married, nothing else! but i guess i was just being selfish.
"okay thankyou Dec" Donna hugged me, "Anyway what's new with you two?".
"Indy's starting 3 year old Kinder in January" I told them, "I have two more years of my course then India and I are going travelling".
"To where?" Ringo asked.
"Zimbabwe and India" I told them, "It's for Didge".
Then nodded in unison looking sadly at me, then i heard cries from the other room.
"I got her" Ringo wandered off into the hallway just as Zeke bounced in the front door, "Dec!".
"Hey mate!" I gave him a hug, "How have you been?".
"Great" Zeke exclaimed, "Everyone sit down!".
Donna looked at Zeke shocked and we sat down and Ringo soon joined us with Amery on the couch.
"I Ezekiel Kinski am going to be a father!" He cried out happily.
My mouth dropped open as i tried to form words of congratulations, 'everyone is having babies' i thought.
Donna jumped up and congratulated him and Ringo stood up trying to hold his daughter in one arm whilst shaking Zeke's hand.
"Daddy?" India asked me getting into my lap, "When am i going to have a brother or sister?".
This was too much for me, I got up putting India on the floor and without a word to anyone i left, jut got into my car and drove off, did i know where i was going? no, but i hoped that it would be better then here!.
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Post by sophie on Jan 23, 2010 14:44:29 GMT
That was sad! Poor Dec and Indy!
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Post by smilelino on Jan 23, 2010 19:55:23 GMT
Beautifuls update. Poor Declan, it is so hard for him. I wonder who is the father of Elle? Thanks again.
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Post by Bee on Jan 24, 2010 14:24:33 GMT
A day later and I woke up in my car with no recollection of how I got in there or where I was for that matter. I battled the thumping headache I had from a hangover I had no memory of getting as I sat up. Suddenly nausea hit me and I only just got my door open before the contents of my stomach came pouring out of my mouth and I was powerless to stop it. I slammed my door shut again and laid back, memories started to flood back into my mind. I had a vague recollection of a woman coming to sit with me at the bar as I drank a beer and drowned my sorrows.
“What are you doing here?” She asked me.
All I felt like saying was “piss off leave me alone” but instead I said politely that I was taking some time out.
“Well it’s boxing day so you have to be running away from something?” She asked.
I shook my head thinking about India at the Kennedy’s probably wondering where her dad had gone, I hoped that mum would keep her occupied while I sorted my life out.
“Fine if you wont tell me why you’re here I’m going to tell you my story” She said, “I just walked in on my boyfriend cheating on me with my sister”.
I looked at her vaguely interested in her now, “You’re kidding?”.
“No and what makes it worse is my sister just got divorced, she has a son that is only 3 years younger then my boyfriend” She told me.
“I’m sorry” I looked at her sadly, “I know cheating doesn’t go down well”.
“Oh so are we here on simular terms?” She asked me.
I shook my head, “Nuh”.
“Well are you going to tell me?” She asked.
“I don’t think so” I muttered looking at the wedding ring on my finger.
“Fine at least tell me your name then?” She asked.
“Declan” I held out my hand.
“Fiona Maxwell” She held out her hand to me, “Oh..” she spotted my wedding ring.
I pulled my hand away and put it in my pocket not wanting to talk about Didge especially to a stranger I had just met in a bar.
“So Declan do you mind if I buy you another beer?” She asked spotting my empty glass on the counter.
I shrugged, “Sure”.
“You’re a strange man” she said, “most men would be falling over if they were offered a free beer from a woman”.
“mm well I’m not like most men” I muttered my mind flickering back to India for a moment.
“Huh?” She asked as she pulled out money to put on the counter.
“Nothing” I said.
“Two crownies please” She said as the bartender came over.
“Cheers” I said as she handed me mine, “I don’t normally drink”.
“Neither do I but I needed a pick me up” She told me, “My boyfriends packing his things now and taking them over to my sisters house”.
“That’s harsh” I said and actually meant it, “I’m glad…” I stopped myself just before getting up to Didge’s name.
“Glad what?” She asked.
“Nothing” I said unhappily.
“Come on you need to give me a bit of le-way here” She said, “You’re here because of something but you wont tell me what!”.
“I cant” I said sadly, “I cant even think about it without crying”.
She looked at me with a strange expression on her face, “Continue”.
I sat for a long moment staring at the beer in my hands and remembering the last year with my daughter.
---
“Good girl India!” I cried out happily as she took her first steps towards me on her first birthday.
---
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy” India said as I went to get her up one morning when she was around 13 months old.
I looked at her in surprise, “Did you just talk?”.
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy” India pointed at me.
I grinned and picked her up, “I’m so proud of you!”.
---
“Look!” India yelled at Werribee Zoo where she had spotted some giraffes, “They are funny daddy!”.
---
“It’s my biiiiiiirthday!” India danced around our small apartment on her 2nd birthday.
“Come and open your present Indy!” I grinned placing it on the floor for her.
India’s eyes bulged out of her head as she unwrapped the zoo animal kit I’d bought her.
“Thank you daddy!” She hugged me.
---
“baby daddy baby!” India pointed at her new cousin in her aunt’s arms, “daddy it’s a baby!!”.
“I know sweetie shhh” I said as India woke her new cousin up.
---
“Oh my god!” I screeched seeing my daughter and her cousin Chloe half way up a tree in my backyard just before Christmas, “India Napier and Chloe Cammeniti down now!”.
“Wait daddy” India climbed to the highest branch, “Okay I can get down now” she jumped from the tree down to the ground whereas Chloe being a little more cautious climbed down.
“Don’t you ever do that again!” I yelled at her when she got down, “You scared me half to death India!”.
“I was fine daddy” India said rolling her little eyes.
“I don’t care!” I snapped, “You’re so your mothers daughter!”.
India grinned as if I’d given her the biggest compliment and ran off with her cousin despite my protests. I realized later that I had given her a huge compliment and like her mother she took it in her stride.
---
“Hello?” Fiona waved a hand in front of my face.
“Sorry” I snapped back into reality, “I was just thinking about my daughter, I think I should go” I went to grab my keys off the bar.
“Stay with me please” Fiona looked at me pleadingly, “I need someone around me right now”.
I looked at my wedding ring once again before sitting down, “Okay sure, but on one condition?”.
“Anything” she smiled at me.
“Buy me another beer” I said grinning.
“That’s more like it” She saw me smiling, “Okay because you’re staying I’ll buy you another one”.
---
Fifteen Minutes later.
---
“So your wife, she’s dead?” Fiona looked saddened.
“Yep” I said sadly, “Died just after Indy was born”.
“Indy?” She asked taking a sip of her beer, “Like Indiana Jones?”.
For some reason I found this really funny and I was on the bar floor in tears pretty quickly, Fiona on top of me laughing as well.
I eventually got out from underneath her but the next thing I knew I was kissing her fiercely against the bar on the floor.
---
The next thing I could remember was stumbling back to my car and falling asleep, I looked over at the house that I had apparently vacated at the early hours of this morning and felt sick with myself. I got out of the car and walked towards the house, I needed to know what had gone on the previous night because I felt guilty enough over it already, but if we’d taken it to the next level I don’t know if I could live with myself.
I knocked on the door for about 3 minutes straight before Fiona answered covered in only a bedsheet which pretty much confirmed my worst nightmares. Her eyes were glassy but she recognized me and pulled me in the house….
(I CANNOT believe i wrote that end bit but never fear there is alot of Didge angst coming up from this relationship!)
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