In years to come

[sophie]

Ah, Suse, it does to have end sometime and there will be drama! But I do promise to write more future fics about Indy and with Didge mentions!
I'm quite sad when I think about finishing it but there's several chapters to go yet! If that softens the blow!
Thanks for the comments girls

[sophie]

Wednesday 28th April 2004

I was so disappointed today. I ran up to the river and the tree and he wasn't there. Maybe you think I should have been pleased, as it used to just be my special place, but he's part of it now. John, the tree and the river, they all seem to go together, even though he can never climb the second part. They seem to go in a three and things go in threes, don't they? Someone told me that once but I've always reckoned it's garbage.
He wasn't there so I climbed the tree properly, right to the top. I have to say that I'd missed that; I don't do it round him because it upsets him (even though he would never admit it because he's got that stupid macho thing boys have). I sat in the top branches and looked out over Queensland. It's been raining more this month so it's more green. It looks nice. It must be green most of the time in places like England where it rains a lot. I wonder what it's like to live there.
I just sat there thinking for a while, wishing I'd brought my diary. I guess I went into a sort of daze, but it wasn't too bad. I started humming and then started singing quietly. I don't have much of a voice (the music teacher's told me that as well) but there wasn't anyone around. I started singing that lulluby, Rock-a-bye Baby, which was appropriate when you think about it (but I'm not a baby.)
"Rock-a-bye-baby, on the tree top,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
Down will come Baby, cradle and all."
It's not really a very nice lulluby, is it? People sing it to babies but the baby falls out of the tree. I wonder if anyone sang it to me? I wonder if anyone sang me a lulluby?
Lullubies are dumb anyway, especially ones like that, and what was I doing, singing one in a tree? I must have looked really stupid. I climbed back down the tree and hung upside down from the bottom branch. My hair's curly and normally quite short but it's got longer lately so it nearly skimmed the water. I need to cut it.
I hung there for a while, looking at the world upside down and how strange it was, and I pretended to do be a tree animal, but it got uncomfortable after a while. My head was starting to hurt because all the blood had rushed to it and I was hungry as well. I swung myself back off and jumped off, my head spinning. I nearly fell over. I paddled for a little while and then went back for lunch. Riley was still out when I got back - I'd made sure he'd gone to the beach this time - and Mum was checking her e-mails. I wanted to go back straight after lunch but Dad asked me to help him look something up about an animal, so we got out some encyclopedias and it took much longer than I thought it would, and then Mum and Dad made me help them with dinner. We played a board game afterwards and the next thing I knew it was half past ten and they were making me go to bed so I couldn't check again.

A little sad, Didge xxx

Thursday 29th April 2004

"It's my turn to tell you off!" I told John this morning. He was back in his usual place. "You didn't come yesterday."
"I never promised to come every day," he said, using my comeback. "And why do you care? I thought it was your river."
I felt embarrassed. "Yeah, well, I guess I don't mind sharing it with you. You're not too awful either," and he smiled.
"Where were you yesterday?" I asked, going and sitting by him.
"I had to help my mum and brother build a shed," he told me. "They said it was for chooks."
"Was it?" He didn't sound convinced.
"I don't know." He started breaking a stick up into pieces. "That's what they said. They said we'd be getting some. They sounded like they were lying."
"What else would it be for?"
"I don't know." He sounded tired.
He gave me a piece of stick.
"Here. Present."
"And what do you want me to do with that?" I laughed.
He shrugged. "Make it into a boomerang. Keep it as a memoir."
"Maybe the last one."
"You don't have to keep it."
"I know."
He got up and waded into the river.
"I bet you can't push me over."
"Oh, really!" I exclaimed and ran after him. I gave him a massive shove but he shoved me back so we both wobbled. He ran away and it became like a game of chase, only neither of us was It, or maybe we both were. Finally we both shoved each other and fell into the water and couldn't stop laughing.
We went and sat on the sunny branch to dry off.
"I guess I should go," I said, still giggling. I looked down and saw to my horror that my top had gone seethrough - not that I have anything to show. I crossed my arms over my chest anyway, trying not to make it obvious.
"Do you have to?"
"It's lunchtime. Mum will wonder where I am."
"Let her wonder."
"She might find me. I'll try and come back later."
But I couldn't; Mum made me go with her to the market to find something for Riley's birthday which is next month (after she had exploded over how I had got covered in the water and made me change). I found a bracelet with a little silver pendant on it. It wasn't too expensive and it wasn't girly - it was unisex, as Mum called it.
"Let's get that," I said and pointed to it and Mum agreed.
It wasn't actually too bad a trip to town because Mum said she wanted to be quick and get back in time to do some stuff for her job. I didn't understand anything she told me about it but I agreed. I went back to the river after dinner but he'd gone.

Love, Didge xxx

Would he become her boyfriend? India wondered. Mum supposedly hadn't liked boys until she had met Dad but it sounded like they were starting to like each other. In all the books she had read it always seemed to start off like that. And Mum had thought about him all the time which always a sure sign. Why hadn't she told anyone? If Mum was still alive Donna could have told her exactly what it was like to live in England. She found Dad out on the porch.
"When did you know you liked Mum for the first time?"
"Well, you know the story, Indy."
"Tell it to me again. Please," she added as an afterthought.
He smiled. "Well, we didn't like each other at first, although really we did. Your mum was pretty angry with me - rightly so - for helping her cousin steal when he was just a little boy and in trouble. But I'll never forget the way she spoke on the first day of school, I couldn't dislike her. I remember thinking at the back of my mind that it was a shame she didn't like me, though I wouldn't admit to myself why. She sounded so happy," he said, and he was smiling at the memory. "She told us all about Nan, Grandpa Steve, Riley and Pouch and everything she liked. I was feeling annoyed so I told everyone my mum was Nicole Kidman's stylist and Ms Steiger, our teacher, didn't find it that funny. So I told the truth; that Grandma and I had been running away from Richard and it was hard."
India gave him a quick cuddle.
"We didn't really talk to each other for a couple of weeks. And then we had a climbing excursion, and Mum was in a mood with me because I defended her against this real bully, Justin Hunter, because she thought I thought she couldn't stick up for herself. Of course she could; I knew that, but I wasn't going to stand for someone bullying her and shoving her about. You never hit women. Any one who does that isn't worth anything. So anyway, we went off, and Mum had to hold my rope, and we were teasing each other, and I told her she was being too gentle so she let the rope slip a little to teach me a lesson and it worked, but then she lost control of it and I dropped to the ground and had to go to hospital. The amount of trouble she got into for that! That was the moment I fell for her."
India gave her dad a tiny shove. "That's so corny dad and you say it every time!"
"Well, it's true," Declan defended himself.
"And what happened after that?"
"You know. Your uncle Oliver had bought me a car - an amazing car..."
"Get on with it Dad!"
"Right, okay, sorry. Well, I had this amazing car but no license. And because I was a stupid teenager, I thought that didn't matter much and I could drive it anyway. Your mum was stupid as well and agreed that she could too, so she also drove. She drove first actually. It was just about the dumbest thing we ever did. Then we got into a drag race with Justin Hunter and his cronies. We got caught by the cops and hell broke loose. I don't think I ever upset Mum - my mum - so much and I don't think Miranda and Steve, Nan and Grandpa, were ever so angry with Didge - Mum, I mean. They banned us from seeing each other. I texted her and we met up anyway but she said she couldn't carry on meeting up, even though she liked me too. And then on the way home she got into that awful accident." Dad closed his eyes.
"She was okay, thank God. Susan, Auntie Rachel and Uncle Zeke's stepmum, had done it, but it wasn't her fault, she was very, very sick and had passed out in front of the wheel. It was dreadful. But it ended up okay for her legally. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah. Mum was in hospital, in a coma, but she woke up. She was fine only she was paralysed down one side. It devestated her, you know how active she was. She couldn't bear sitting still for more than ten minutes and here she was stuck with a walking aid. She had to get out of the house and went swimming with Auntie Rachel and when she was alone for a moment she slipped and nearly drowned, but I found her and saved her."
"You're such a hero, Dad!"
"I don't know about that. But she wasn't ready for anything yet. I took her on a date and it all went pear-shaped because these idiot boys were teasing her and I got uncomfortable, even though I yelled at them. But I couldn't kiss her and the next time I stood her up and Mum thought it was all because of her disability. She hated me."
"I'm sure she didn't hate you, Dad."
"It felt like it. She went to physical therapy and met that bloke Josh. He gave her her first kiss and became her first boyfriend."
Dad looked pretty annoyed.
"She went out with him for a while, even though I made her a CD of Sorry Songs-"
"You dag, Dad!"
He laughed. "I know, I know. I kissed her but she wasn't interested. Then we went to an illegal dance party - another really, really stupid thing to do and if you ever do something like that I'll kill you - and the roof collapsed. I was trapped with Mum and I told her how I felt and she agreed and we nearly kissed but then we were rescued. And she wouldn't talk about what she'd said. Maybe she thought she'd only said it because she had been so frightened. But anyway, Josh split up with her, and we were just mates for a while. I was very proud of her the next month because she stopped using her walking aid - the Granny Gadget we called it -and then she went out with you godfather Ringo for a little while-"
"I still can't believe that."
"Neither of us can. It didn't last long. But your mum was so upset that she went to the formal with that disgusting person, Chris Knight."
India had never known the full details of that night but she knew whatever had happened had been terrible. She had more of an idea now that she was older but she didn't press it.
"He tried to hurt her, the scumbag, but thank God he didn't. She ran away and pushed him over and he died, but you know it was none of her fault. That was a terrible month but it all came out okay in the end. She was so brave. And then we had a kissing booth to raise money for charity-"
"That's even more daggy than a sorry CD Dad!"
He laughed again. "I guess it was but it was lucky for me because your mum bought all my tickets and she kissed me all night long."
"Gross, Dad."
"It wasn't gross, Missy! It was wonderful. And then things went from there, we told each other we loved each other and the next thing we knew Mum was pregnant-"
"Don't go into that, please," India said, disgusted.
"I won't, don't worry. But I behaved like a real tool because I was frightened. If anyone does that to you I'll kill them. Anyway, I grew up, found a job and proposed to your mum and she accepted and I was over the moon. And then I married your mum and you were born a couple of weeks later at the Winter Cool Festival. The two best days of my life." He looked very happy.
"So that's how you know? When you can't stop thinking about someone?"
"That's the start." He looked at her. "You don't like anyone else, do you?" He looked worried.
"No, Dad. I just wondered." She took herself off the porch and went back inside.
His daughter was funny, Declan thought. Funny in the best possible way.

[suse]

Lovely lovely lovely!!

I don't know if I like her fraternizing with another boy though . Can't wait to see if Dec discovers this diary or not. Loved Dec telling Indy about them too .

[Bee]

i love it Sophie (: cant wait for more!!

[sophie]

Thanks guys I might not be able to update tonight as I have a very, very busy day ahead but I'll try to get one for tomorrow.

[sophie]

Friday 30th April 2004

Before I had finished eating breakfast this morning Mum came and told me we should take another trip to town because we're going back home next week and I needed to get ready for school.
"School?!" I asked in horror.
"You know before we left you'd lost half the pens from your pencil case. You also need some new notebooks and probably a new dress."
"Why do we have to do it today? We're on holiday."
"Because if we do it today we can just enjoy next week without having do everything at the last minute."
"Well, why can't we just do it when we're back in Sydney?"
Mum was looking frustrated by this point. "Because, Bridget, you are starting school immediatly and there won't be time. And speaking of, it's being wasted now, so hurry up and get dressed."
I must have looked pretty miserable because Mum said, "It's only one day sweetheart and if we're quick you'll be free by the afternoon."
That was the inspiration I needed so I got ready as quickly as I could and we were in town in no time.
It wasn't too bad at first - I mean, it wasn't fun, it never is, but we got everyting quite quickly and I got some cool pens which were sort of seethrough and all different colours. But then we had to go to the clothes section and get a dress. Mum can never be quick in a clothes section.
"I don't think an 11-12 age dress is going to fit you now, let's try and get a 12-13...."
"Mum, keep your voice down!" I said, anguished.
Mum made me try on about a zillion dresses and then of course she wanted to buy some other things. She even bought a pink t-shirt for me because it was so knocked down in price.
"You know I'll never wear it," I promised her.
"You might want to one day."
"I won't."
"Well, you can have it in case you run out other t-shirts."
"I still wouldn't wear it."
"Oh, stop being so difficult!"
We left then and you would think, wouldn't you, that after we'd eaten lunch Mum would let me go out? I'd just endured a shopping trip!
"Why don't we work on your maths skills?"
"MUM! No! You promised me..."
"I didn't think of it then. But your teacher told me your maths needs practising and I could set you some sums..."
She had thought of it. She just didn't tell me earlier because she knew I'd never agree to any of it. I glared at her.
"Don't look like that!"
"It's my holiday!" I wailed.
"Just half an hour."
So that's what I ended doing for half my afternoon. What a waste. It was long multiplication which I'm not that fantastic at. Mum got annoyed and I got annoyed and by the time Dad got back we were both about ready to throttle each other.
"Girls!" he exclaimed. "What's this?"
Then we both started ranting and he out his hands over his ears.
"It's pretty obvious that you've both had enough for one day. Didge, go out somewhere and cool off. Miranda, I'm going to make you a cup of tea. "
He didn't need to tell me twice. I ran off feeling furious. I hate my mother sometimes.
"What's wrong with you?" asked John.
"My mum! Making me spend half the day in a school dress and then doing Maths work! I may as well have been in school!"
I was shouting by that point.
"That does sound pretty lousy. At least she cares though."
"Sometimes I wish she didn't," I sulked.
I didn't stay too long in the end but I did feel better by the time I got back. Me and Mum apologised to each other.
"I'm sorry I ruined your day darling, but it all needed to get done and I thought it would be good for you if I helped you with your maths work. I'm not too bad with numbers."
"I know....I'm sorry I was so sulky, but I don't want to do homework on holiday!"
"I reckon you're not as bad at it as you think. You just say that you can't do it and then you don't try."
"I can't," I mumbled.
"Oh Bridget, come on, I'll show you how to do it again. Don't worry about getting it right or wrong - just look out how I do it and then try."
Somehow I ended spending most of my evening doing that but it wasn't too bad. I got some right this time round and Mum was very happy.
"And we won't worry about anymore for the rest of the holiday," she said happily. "I'm very pleased with you."
I was so pleased that I'd got some right that I gave her a hug. I don't like Maths but it does help having someone good at it in the family!

Love, Didge xxx

India was amazed that her clever mother had struggled too. Everyone had given her an image of Bridget being slightly perfect - so clever, so loving, so kind. And she was - she was all those things, but it made her so happy to know that she too had been angry, sulky, had bad days, was not that great with numbers and had, from time to time, fought with her parents.

[mellochino]

I love this story, Sophie! Please keep going, I can't wait for the next update.

[Bee]

Sophie i loove it!!
cant wait for more!!

[sophie]

Thanks!

[rebeccag]

Great couple of chapters Sophie, Glad India knows that Didge struggled too

[sophie]

Declan was dreaming. He had the same dream from time to time; it was Didge standing and looking at him in a beautiful white dress. She was smiling and laughing and he could never believe it, his beautiful wife had come back, his soul-mate, and it had all been some terrible, terrible mistake all those years ago: she hadn't died. But it didn't matter because she had come back and everything was perfect again.
"Bridget!" he'd call out, laughing as well. "Didge!"
And somehow he couldn't move, couldn't reach out to her. He tried so hard but he just couldn't go to her. It was like there was an invisible barrier between them, like a sheen of water, a wall of glass.
"Bridget!" he'd shout again. And then she would make a move, and she seemed to shimmer, and even though though were so close they couldn't touch.
Sometimes she would just fade away without him realising and sometimes she would try and speak and then Declan would wake up, but this time she said, "When I was twelve. Think of when I was twelve."
"What?" Declan asked in confusion. "Come back to me, Didge!"
And sadly she shook her head, reached out to touch him and just as her hand made contact with his face the dream ended.
"Didge!" Declan called out, still craning towards her touch. "Didge..."
But it had been a dream, of course it had been a dream, a stupid, stupid dream which didn't mean anything. Sometimes he wished he didn't even have them because he thought she had come back and it was like a cruel joke: she was dead. She was dead.
Wiping a tear roughly from his eye, Declan threw the covers back and got out of bed. He showered and dressed and gave himself a mental shake before going into the kitchen. He didn't want to talk about it and couldn't go in looking devestated. He took a deep breath and went in. Only Steve was there.
"Hey, Steve," Declan said. "Where's Miranda? And do you know where that daughter of mine has got to?"
"Morning. Miranda's doing some work on some plants out the back and India's gone for a bike ride somewhere."
"She's always off out somewhere," Declan said somewhat moodily.
"Ah well, she's her mother's daughter. Didge was just the same. Running off all day and staying out as long as she had to. She was so proud of having a secret place, but I'm pretty sure it was along by the river somewhere. I never followed her, but she'd always come back muddy or covered in water. It drove Miranda crazy."
"I hope she doesn't stay out all day." Declan got some cereal out and poured it into a bowl.
"She's got her mobile. She won't have gone far."
"There's something going on with her," Declan thought out loud. "I'm positive of it."
"She's twelve, she's nearly a teenager. Kids always have secrets at that age and half the time they're not even big ones. They just don't want to share everything with their parents - they want to feel more independent."
"I know, but it really feels like there is something. I don't know what, but it seems like she is hiding something."
Steve frowned. "You don't think it's something bad like smoking? Or alcohol?"
"No! I'm sure it's not that, I'd have busted her. And where would she have got it from? I haven't seen any cigarette butts on the ground and I'd know if she'd been drinking. And we've been out here for nearly two weeks, where could she have got any?"
"You're right. I'm sure it's not that either."
"She's being very funny, either way."
"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, mate. I'm sure India would come to you if she was in real trouble."
"Yeah." Declan looked out of the window and hoped he was right. He just couldn't shake the feeling of the dream, it was like Didge was telling him something - what, he didn't know. When I was twelve. Think of when I was twelve.
What when she was twelve?!
Oh, it was just a stupid dream that didn't mean anything, dreams never did and never would. He wasn't going to to waste time worrying about it.
"Do you want to watch some TV, Steve?"
"Sounds good to me."
India sat with her back against the tree. There was such calm, such serenity to this place. She felt closer to her mother there than anywhere else. She didn't know if she believed in God - how could she? - but she clung to her belief in her mother's spirit. She had to still be there. She had to be watching over her daughter. India couldn't bear the thought of never knowing her, never seeing her. India wasn't one for believing in fate, but it did feel like finding her diary was meant to be, somehow, like she had been guided to it. She looked up to the branches of the tree. Everywhere was still, silent, except for the call of the birds, as though the world was frozen, but once, many years ago, it had been so alive. Filled with shouts and laughter and teasing as her mother and John, whoever he had been, had played in the tree, around it and in the river. Their shared secret. Where was he now? She took the diary out once more.

Saturday 1st May 2004

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" John asked me today.
I was lying across a branch and he was sitting against the trunk.
"I want to be a vet," I told him. "I used to want to play for AFL. What abut you?"
"I want...I want a job where I know I won't have to leave it. I want to be a paid artist somewhere like Rome."
"Dreaming big then!" I sat up.
"Well, why shouldn't I?" he said reasonably. "It would be better than here."
"I like it here."
"You only see the good side."
That was a weird thing to say.
I looked at him curiously and pulled my cardigan tighter. It's getting colder.
"I mean," he said hastily, "you come here on holiday. You have fun, you can just muck about. You don't have to do hard work or go to school here or anything."
"I suppose," I said cautiously. "But I don't always have fun."
"This is fun, isn't it?" He stood up and looked at me.
"Yeah, it is."
He looked at me oddly. He leaned closer towards me and then pulled back.
"I have to go," he muttered and then ran off, even though I shouted, "Hey!"
I went home after that. What a weird afternoon.

Love, Didge xxxx

Mum had been young for her age, India thought. She had worked out what was on their minds and she hadn't even been there. Would Mum have been happy if he had kissed her? She cycled back.
"India!" her dad exclaimed when she came through the door. "Where have you been?"
"Just out," she said in surprise.
"Out where?"
"The river!" she snapped. "Why do you have to know?!"
"You're my daughter, that's why I have to know! I have to know where you are all the time!"
Her eyes narrowed.
"I'm not a baby anymore, Dad. I have a life."
"That doesn't mean you can run off anywhere you like and not tell me," he snapped back.
"Mum did."
"How did you know that?"
"I remember Nan saying," she said guiltily and shut herself in her room.
There was something going on, he knew it. He'd sworn to Bridget he'd protect her and if she was in trouble he'd stop it. But what? What was going on?
When I was twelve. Think of when I was twelve.

[suse]

Stunning stunning stunning Sophie.

I find myself getting so lost in this. I adore it .

Loved Dec's dream..made me a bit .

[sophie]

Ah, thanks Suse, that really means a lot
Don't know if I'm going to be able to update tomorrow, and maybe not even til the the 23rd because I have exams. I might post one when I'm having a revision break though!

[kate]

Aww good luck with the exams. I have to say, I am dying to read what happens next though. Not in a cliffhanger way, but just because I'm enjoying the Didge diaries so much!

Another great chapter there Sophie.

[Bee]

another great update sophie!! cant wait for moreeee