In years to come

[sophie]

My first go! Please leave comments

India Napier hurried home and straight into her room, glad her father wasn't back for another ten minutes from work. She took a quick glance at herself in the mirror, her cheeks red from running, her curly hair even crazier than usual and her dress slightly smudged from where she had absentmindedly run her fingers across it earlier when they had ink on them. India fell onto her bed and hugged a pillow. She didn't feel like talking to anyone, she just wanted to think about things. Jamie Adler, whom India was currently idolising, had actually smiled at her and said she was clever for solving the maths question earlier that day. And then he had said he liked her hair, for all its craziness and failure to ever look half-way normal! India had then had that feeling off half-annoyance and half-gratitude as the bell went, ending both their conversation and India's knowledge that her face was going pink. No one had ever liked her hair, aside from her father and grandparents, and that didn't count. India twisted a lock round her finger happily. It was so funny - this time last year she had been indifferent to boys, thinking they could be good fun when they weren't being stupid or gross or both, but now this year...India could stare at Jamie all day, he just seemed so much better and different! She even had to catch herself in class, the other day she hadn't even realised she had been looking at him until Ms Brown had asked her what she was dreaming about and everyone had laughed at her. India smiled to herself again, he liked her back, he liked her back! Would they go on a date? Feelings of both happiness and worry swirled in her stomach as she heard her father's key turn in the lock, leading her to getting up and giving herself a shake.
"Indy, I'm home!" called her father.
"I'm here!" India said, and opened her door and went to see her dad.
"Hey sweetheart, how was school?" asked Declan, throwing down his key.
India could feel herself starting to smile and desperately tried to combat it.
"Fine."
"What are you grinning about?"
India could have kicked herself. "Nothing...it was just a good day." Well, that wasn't technically a lie. Dad just didn't need to know why.
"Good, you're enjoying school for once. You know you've got your mum's brains, if you applied yourself a bit more..."
India groaned, "You're sounding like a broken record Dad!"
"Don't talk to me like that young lady. I don't care what I sound like, that's the truth. If you spent more time studying and less time doodling and talking to that Rachel you'd get a lot more done. Now, your grandma's coming for dinner, so get changed and help me in the kitchen. And what's that you've got on your dress? Ink AGAIN?!"
"It's nothing," India said sulkily, putting her hands over the stain and going into her room to change.
He couldn't spoil anything, even if he had chosen to whinge about her marks, India thought as she changed out of her dress. She had this secret and this happiness.
Later that night, Rebecca, Declan's mother and India's grandmother came over.
"India!" called Declan. "Indy, grandma's here!"
He turned to help Rebecca with her coat.
"Any news, Mum?"
"I spoke to Miranda earlier. She said Riley and Steve are both fine and they're missing you both like crazy and can't wait to see you at Christmas. It's been too long since we've seen them, isn't it?"
"Yep," agreed Declan. "I miss them too - India! Come on!"
India came into sight, having changed into a top and skirt.
Declan's eyes boggled.
"What are you wearing a skirt for? You hate your skirts."
"I felt like it," mumbled India.
Declan turned to his mother for help, but she just smiled, shrugged, and enveloped her granddaughter into a hug.
A short while later, over dinner, Rebecca finally asked,
"All right India. Out with it. Who are you mooning over?"
India nearly dropped her fork. How did she know? How could she know?!
"No one!"
"I know that expression, India! Who's the boy?"
Declan looked at his mother and then his daughter in disbelief.
"BOY?! What boy?!"
"There's no boy!"
"Well, there had better not be!" Declan stated angrily, not even noticing that he was mashing his potato with his fork.
"Declan!" exclaimed his mother. "There's nothing wrong with a little crush!"
"She's only twelve!" and then to his daughter, for emphasis: "You're only twelve!"
"Dad, it's nothing!"
"Whoever it is, you can't see him. I don't care if it's just a crush!"
India did drop her fork this time.
"I'm not a baby Dad! I'm old enough to like someone!"
"So there is someone!" Declan said angrily. "You're not a baby India, but you're still a little girl and -"
"I'M NOT A LITTLE GIRL!"
India stormed away from the table and slammed into her room, even though she could hear her dad shouting at her to come back and sit down. Tears began to stream down her cheeks and she buried her face in the pillow. She seemed to have become so emotional this past year, over such stupid things. She never used to cry...she never used to care about boys or how she looked...what was happening to her? And whatever she was, she wasn't a little girl. She was an adolescent, practically, or was she already? India didn't know. All she knew was that she hated her dad, and she wasn't very happy with her grandmother for telling, either. Mum would have understood. India buried her face further into the pillow.
"Well, that was nicely handled," Rebecca said sarcastically to her son.
Declan was pacing about the kitchen. "She's only twelve!"
"Declan, it's normal for her to like someone. It doesn't mean that they're going to become boyfriend and girlfriend. She's nearly a teenager now."
Declan groaned and Rebecca laughed.
"She's not seeing anyone until she's sixteen...no, eighteen, no, twenty!"
"Declan, would you stop overreacting!"
"I'm not!"
Rebecca went over to him and put her arm round him.
"Dec, sweetie, you are. I know you're worried, but there's no need to lock India in a tower and throw away the key. There's no harm in her liking a boy. Now," she continued, "I'm going to go and say goodbye to Indy. Then I want you to go in there and apologise -"
"Mum!"
Rebecca continued as though she had not heard. "...apologise for acting as though you were younger than she was and make up with her. All right? And I'll call you tomorrow."
Declan looked deflated. "All right."
"That's my boy!" Rebecca said, as though he were the twelve-year-old, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
India heard a soft knock on her door.
"What is it?" she sniffled.
Rebecca opened the door. "It's just me."
India rubbed away the tears on her cheeks roughly as Rebecca came and sat down beside her on the bed.
"Now what was that about?"
"He treats he like a five-year-old," India complained. "All the time he does, I'm not allowed out as long as Rachel and Hannah, he's always nagging me about my schoolwork and now he won't let me like someone. I can't help liking someone. He's acting like a Puri...a Puri...?"
"Puritan," Rebecca finished gently. "Oh sweetheart, he just wants the best for you and for you not to make the same mistakes he did."
"But I wouldn't," India complained.
"I know, darling. But fathers can overreact," she said sadly. "It's only because they care."
She gave India a hug and a kiss. "I'll speak to you soon, Indy. And you looked lovely tonight."
Indy smiled at her as Rebecca left.
She heard the front door close and a little while later her father came in.
"Don't knock," she said sullenly.
"India," her dad said in a warning voice, but didn't go on to shout.
"Okay...I know I shouldn't have shouted at you. I shouldn't have flown off the handle."
India stayed silent.
"But," her dad continued, "neither should you. You shouldn't have thrown a tantrum and run off to your room. You're twelve, not two."
India looked for a moment as though she was going to argue back but she didn't.
"So, we both behaved badly and I think we should both apologise to each other and to Grandma. All right? We'll discuss this thing with a boy tomorrow because it's getting late. I'm not going to lie to you Indy, I'm not happy about it, but I shouldn't have got so angry."
"But Dad...you treat me like a baby..."
Declan looked as his angry daughter sadly.
"I know I can do sometimes. But it doesn't seem that long ago that you were in my arms for the first time."
He gave a her a hug and said, "I'm sorry, India."
"I'm sorry, too," she said.
Declan left her and walked down the hall feeling dazed. A nearly-teenage daughter....he picked up a picture of Bridget and whispered, "You'd know what to do. You'd know what to say to her."
India looked at herself in the mirror. She certainly didn't feel like a baby, aside from feeling the need to cry a lot. She ran a hand through her unruly hair and looked at the photo by her bed.
"Oh, Mum..." she sat down and hugged it to her chest. "Did you feel mixed up like this? You'd understand, I just know you would."
And with that, India fell into a fretful sleep.

[kate]

Sophie! Didn't know you had this up your sleeve.

I really like it, very nicely written. Declan's a meanie though!

[sophie]

Thanks! I had it in my head for a while but because I had so much work to do I decided to save it until the holidays. He is a meanie, isn't he? Like Rebecca said, he cares so much he overreacts. I'm really glad you like it.

[suse]

I'm at work so can't read properly yet...but can't wait to read it ;D ;D ;D.

[Bee]

this is great Sophie!!! i cant wait for another update!!
you got all the characters down to a tee!!

[sophie]

I tried to think back to what Maths we did when I was twelve, I remembered long multiplication being a bane of mine - it still is!

She was dreaming. She was dreaming that Jamie was holding her hands and they were sharing a sundae, though where it came from India had no idea, as they were the only ones on a deserted road. It was hot but the sundae didn't melt. India's eyes drifted across the street and she saw a woman suddenly. She couldn't see her face but she knew it was her mother.
"Mum!" cried India, jumping to her feet! "Mum!"
She tried to follow her, tried to run, but she couldn't. The woman was walking, not running, but India couldn't catch up.
"Mum!" she shouted again. She seemed to have walked for miles. She stopped and turned in a circle; Jamie and his sundae were gone, there was no evidence of their ever being there. To her horror, when she turned back, she couldn't see the woman. Bridget was gone, all over again. India stood there in horror when suddenly a dreadful noise broke the atmosphere, India tried to run away from it, she couldn't....
Groggily India opened her eyes and switched off her alarm. It was a Thursday morning and she had to go to school. She lay in bed for a few minutes, mulling over the dream, until she heard her father's daily call of, "Indy? Are you up?"
"Yes, Dad!" India replied and got herself up. All through getting dressed, all through breakfast, all through her walk to school India thought about the dream. She was relieved that Rachel couldn't walk with her that day. She felt like being alone.
All too soon India reached her high school. Sighing, she slung her bag into her locker and then the next thing she knew was that it was maths.
India didn't like maths. It had to have been a miracle that she was able to solve that sum yesterday. Some kindly angel must have noticed that she was solving equations with Jamie that day and decided to help her out. Could you get that kind of luck twice in a row? India had heard things came in threes. Maybe it was true....she hoped it was...though really, she hoped it came fours, fives, tens, or, most accurately, that it came through her entire time at high school.
India sat at her desk and Jamie smiled at her. India felt that rushing feeling through her stomach again and smiled back.
"All right, class," said Ms Brown, clapping her hands. "We're doing long multiplication today, so look at how I do it on the board and then practise yourselves."
For once India looked intently at the board. She did try really, she thought angrily, she did apply herself, it was just that numbers squiggled so much in her brain it felt like no use. She felt stupid when she did maths. Dad her told her Mum found it hard as well, but she'd still done it, hadn't she? She'd still got all As. India would be lucky if she scraped a C. Sometimes - more frequently of late - she thought she must be a let-down as a daughter. Where were those brains she had supposedly inherited?
Ms Brown was handing out papers with sums on them. Indy took hers, looked at the questions and wanted to die. 150 X 170?!
She looked at Jamie, who had a similar look of horror on his face.
"Can we work it out?" he whispered to her.
India stared at the paper and desperately tried to remember how to solve it. Multiplying across...an extra zero...she tried to not to panic. What were five sevens? 35. Was it 35? Yes, it was. Was it 3500? And which was worse, she wondered, long multiplication or long division?
"3500? I'm not sure."
The angel had clearly decided not to help her today. India knew all those things about luck in threes were lies.
"I don't know either."
At least they were stupid together. Hannah got it right instantly; she had what the teacher called a mathematical brain. She was also one of those lucky people who had a scientific brain, an artistic brain, a creative brain, every type of brain! India tried not to grudge her for it. Hannah couldn't help being clever. India's answer was very, very far off being correct!
Finally the maths lesson ended and they all left the classroom. Jamie stopped by the lockers as India got out her atlas.
"Indy...."
"Yeah?"
"Indy, will you go for a sundae with me?"
India's face lit up. She couldn't believe it. Even though she had no mathematical talent, even though she looked like a scarecrow, he wanted to take her for a sundae.
"I...yes! Yes of course!" Her face split into a huge grin.
Jamie smiled back shyly. "Do you want to go tomorrow after school?"
Dad, thought India. Dad would never let her go. Well, she'd think of something.
"That sounds great," she said firmly. "I'd love to!"
He smiled again. "I've got History now," he said. "But is that set then? Tomorrow after school for an hour?"
"Yes!" India skipped off to her Geography class, feeling as though she was on top of the world.
Declan sat in his office, staring at the photos on his desk rather than at his computer screen. There was his beautiful little girl aged five, with a huge icecream melting into her hands. Her massive smile filled her whole face, which also happened to be coated in pink from the cone, and she looked like she was glowing. That had been the day he had taken her to Sydney, and he had shown her where her mummy used to live. Those days were so simple and easy...it hadn't mattered that he was a young father who had 'lost out on his youth', as some people had said, it didn't matter that he was stuck in a dead-end job, because he had his perfect, sweet little daughter and that was all that mattered. The only thing that could have made it better was Bridget being there. Declan felt a twinge of sadness as he looked over at her picture. It seemed like yesterday that India WAS five. They had got on famously all through her childhood, their only arguments being over silly things like eating all her vegetables and not going to bed. But now, this past year...what had happened? India and he always seemed to be clashing over things and she was always accusing him of not understanding, not knowing what it was like to be a girl. Well, no, he didn't, and in truth Declan felt he would never understand the so-called (and in his opinion, wrongly-called) fairer sex, but he was doing his best, wasn't he? Indy kept bursting into tears at the drop of a hat and whenever he tried to comfort her he just seemed to make things worse. It was hormones that had happened, his mother said, but that didn't help. It made things more frightening. And now a boy...she was too young to like a boy. Bridget told him she hadn't liked anyone until she was sixteen. And what would India be like when she was sixteen if she was like this now? Even more unruly and hard to handle. And she'd inherited both their genes of acting first and thinking later, suppose she got a boyfriend and the same thing happened to her as it had to Rebecca, he and Bridget? Suppose it ran in the family? Declan didn't know what he'd do then. He'd always thought that they wouldn't have to talk about boyfriends for years yet...he had only just survived the toe-curling embarrassing puberty talk, for which his mother had to step in for as well. Indy wouldn't look him in the face for days.
Well, thank God the day was nearly over. Declan needed a beer and some footy to watch, to take his mind off things. He was unbelievably thankful that he finished early on Thursdays.
He got his things together and was just about to leave when his boss called out to him.
"Yes, sir?"
"Just so you know Declan, we're finishing early tomorrow as well due to a meeting, so you'll have another afternoon to relax."
Whoever was up there must have heard his prayer. Bridget? He liked to think that sometimes.
"Thanks, sir!"
A few hours later he asked India to come over for a chat. She sat on the sofa with an odd look on her face, almost defiance. It probably was, knowing her these days, Declan reflected.
"This boy, Indy. I don't want you to see him. I don't mind you liking him..." though that was hard to say, "because that's natural, but you're not going out with him. I don't want you to have a boyfriend yet."
India considered her options. She could tell him the truth, which she knew would end in a fight and them not speaking, as she knew her dad would not agree and then she would shout that she would see him anyway, but probably wouldn't, or she could lie, say she was going to Hannah's and save them both a lot of energy. What Dad didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
"It's okay, Dad," India said in a high voice. "I don't think I want to see him anyway. He didn't talk to me today."
Declan looked astonished at the turnaround but certainly wasn't complaining.
"And can I go to Hannah's after school? I want to go over my English homework with her."
"Just as long as she doesn't do it for you." Declan was over the moon. She didn't want to see him anymore and she wanted to do her work, furthermore, he'd have an afternoon to himself to relax and they could both enjoy the evening together, if she was going to do her homework with a friend. Maybe he'd get a sundae.
"Thanks Dad." India gave him a kiss on the cheek and hurried to her room.
Kisses! Maybe he was doing it right after all. Declan reached for the remote and settled down to enjoy his evening, looking forward to tomorrow.

[Bee]

yay i love it Sophie ;D

naughty India

cant wait for more

[sophie]

Thanks for the comments!

[kate]

Awww. Really like it, especially the Declan bit about them getting along famously through her childhood. See that's how they should have had it on the show- forget the stupid Kate thing. Sorry, any occasion to rant about that.

More soon please anyway.

[sophie]

Haha don't worry! Kate won't get a mention.
Hopefully will get another update up by the end of the day or by tomorrow.

[rebeccag]

oooh im liking this Sophie. Cant wait to see what happens next

[Ali]

this is great sophie

really enjoying it

[sophie]

Thanks so much!

[sophie]

India hadn't woken up feeling so nervous since she had been in that footy match two years, and that was a different nervousness. It was a better nervousness: her father had given her a hug, poured her orange juice and buttered her toast and said he knew that she'd give them hell out there. She'd been excited and knew that even if she didn't win, she'd still have an amazing time because it felt like football was what she was born to do. Hadn't her dad said she'd kicked like a star player when Mum was pregnant with her? She couldn't wait to get out on the field back then and she'd just known she could do it, but these days, though still loved to go out to play, it didn't feel quite the same. Despite that, she knew that if she was playing footy today she'd still have a wonderful time and be ruthless on the field. But this, this she had no talent at. She'd never done it. She knew from all the films and tv shows, from all the girls at school, how easily a date could go wrong. A wave of nausea swept over her as she imagined what would happened if she tipped her icecream on herself, or worse, over him. No Indy, no don't think about that, she said silently together as she dragged a brush through her hair. It hasn't even happened yet. Don't make up things that can go wrong.
She went into the kitchen to get her breakfast.
"Hey gorgeous girl," her dad said cheerfully as he poured his morning coffee.
India gave a faint smile back. She tried to ignore the feeling of guilt that was tugging at her conscience. Well, she said to it, he would never have let me go. I want to go. I need to go.
There was not time to dawdle anymore, India noted as she glanced at the clock.
"Dad, I have to go. I'll see you after I get back from Hannah's."
"All right. Have a good day Indy," Declan smiled and waved her off.
"Did you tell your dad?" Rachel asked as they walked along to school.
"No," Indy said shortly. "he didn't need to know. And don't you dare breathe a word to him about it!"
"How would I even talk to him? We're going to be in school all day." Rachel stopped and looked at her with her hands on her hips.
"I don't know," India replied irritably. "Just...if you did by some fluke."
"You worry so much! He won't find out. Isn't he going to be in the office all evening?"
"Yes," India admitted.
"And even if he does come home early, he thinks you'll be at Hannah's, won't he?"
"Yes."
"Well then, stop worrying!"
"Even if he doesn't find out," India said gloomily, "What if I throw up on Jamie or something?"
Rachel laughed at her. "You'll be fine."
India questioned that the whole way through school. Why was it, she wondered, that a clock can move a minute that feels like half an hour when you want to go, but just go extra-fast when you want it to slow down? But she did want to go, didn't she?
Just pull yourself together! she thought irritably.
The next thing she knew, school was over and Jamie was waiting for her by the lockers. Her stomach doing somersaults, she walked up, said hello, and the two went to the cafe, India's heart thudding the whole way.
Declan came home and chucked his work-bag on the floor. He had never learnt to be neat and what the hell, it was Friday anyway. It was a pity Indy wasn't neat either- they had to have mass tidying sessions once a month.
Declan picked the remote and flicked trough the channels, of course nothing was on, it was all kids' stuff at this time. He remembered he had twenty dollars in his pocket, why not go and get a coffee? It was a shame Indy was at Hannah's, he'd have treated her to a sundae.
It wasn't actually going too badly, Indy thought in relief. In fact, it was on the verge of going well. Jamie had bought her her sundae, even though she'd had the money and after a few awkward moments they relaxed into a conversation about football. India knew her stuff and they ended up having a friendly debate about whose team was better. They stopped talking and nervousness filled India again, would he kiss her?
Declan was nearly at the cafe when to his surprise he saw Hannah coming down the street totally unaccompanied. She stopped dead in her tracks.
"Hi Hannah! Where's India?"
"She's...she's back at my place, I forgot my book."
Yes, she was clutching one in her hand, but why did she look so frightened?
Declan began to feel suspicious.
"Is she really? Well, I'm going to the cafe now. I'll come back with you, I want to ask India something."
Hannah looked even more terrified.
"That's okay Mr Napier," she garbled, "I'll go and buy your drink for you and I'll pass on the message, you'll want to enjoy your afternoon off..."
Declan put two and two together.
"I'm sorry she dragged you into this," he said to her, and went into the cafe.
He had kissed her! Not for long, but it had been so exciting and now they were looking at each other happily. It had felt like the world had stopped. Would he kiss her again?
Suddenly Jamie went white.
"Jamie? What is it?" India asked in concern.
"You...your..." he gulped.
"INDIA NAPIER!"
India was sure her heart stopped for a moment. How did her dad find out?
"You were meant to be at the office!" she cried, scrambling out of the chair.
"My afternoon got cancelled," he said through gritted teeth. "And you..." he said to the petrified Jamie, "don't you ever take my daughter out for a sundae again!"
"Dad!" cried India, wanting to say some word of apology to Jamie, but was already being pulled out of the shop and down the street.
They were home. India had never seen her dad look so angry.
"YOU LIED TO ME!"
"Because you were being unreasonable!" India protested. "I didn't have a choice!"
"I told you what the rules were. I said you weren't allowed to go out with anyone yet! I'm your dad!"
"I'm twelve Dad!" India shouted. "Everyone else is allowed!"
"You're not everyone else!"
"It's just because you're jealous!" India yelled, red in the face. "Just because no one liked you until you were sixteen! It's just because you hate the fact that I'm not a baby anymore and you can't have total control over my life! You're so stupid!"
Declan could have shaken her. "Don't ever talk to me like that again and stop being so ridiculous," he said in a low voice.
India knew she'd gone too far but didn't know what to say. They both stood there for a moment glaring at each other.
"You're grounded," Declan told his daughter. "I'm very disappointed in you. Go to your room."
Even know she was angry with him, India began feeling ashamed. There was nothing like being told that she had disappointed her dad to make her feel so bad. She slunk into her room and got into her bed, wondering how it could all have gone so wrong.

[sophie]

It had been a horrible weekend. A really horrible weekend. India and Declan didn't know what to say to each other and had skirted round each other all weekend, barely talking, except for when they ate dinner and asked for the salt or the sauce. Both felt as though they should apologise and both also felt that they deserved an apology as well. India had spent most of her weekend curled up under her doonah, only surfacing because she knew that had she stayed in bed any longer her dad would come in asking if she was ill, and when she did get up she hid in her room actually doing her homework so as to have a reason not to come out.
Declan felt miserable. As angry as his daughter had made him, as badly-behaved she had been, he guessed he shouldn't have shouted at that twelve-year-old. He was only India's age as well. He hated rowing with her, and God knows he never wanted to end up being one of those fathers who never lets his children do anything at all, he was just so protective of her. He thought back to their very first argument: Indy was two and he'd taken her shopping with him to the supermarket. She had picked up a packet of very overpriced chocolate biscuits and demanded them. Declan had told her no, that they cost too much money and would also rot her teeth, so please could she put them back, when suddenly India threw them on the ground and screamed. Declan stared at her in astonishment. What was his perfect baby doing?
"India!"
"I WANT MY BISCUITS!" she had screamed, leading to her other shoppers turning round and shaking their heads.
Declan would have given anything to have picked her up and just run out of the shop then and there, but they were out of food and the trolley was full.
"INDIA!" He had shouted back, picking her up. His shouting stunned her into a short silence and then she burst into tears.
Declan had awkwardly said, "It' all right, Indy, it's all right,", paid for the goods and took her home, Indy crying the whole way. Declan hated it even though he knew he had to discipline her. Just as he put her to bed that night, Indy had thrown her arms round him and said, "I'm sorry, Daddy."
Declan felt pathetic as a rush of relief flowed through him. Of course India would have forgiven him, of course it would all be forgotton by tomorrow, but it hadn't stopped him feeling worried. But he didn't need to worry, he thought that night. He and Indy would always make up.
This fight had stretched on for days now. Declan would have done anything to be able to wave a magic wand that would take him back to when Indy was six, where she would give him hugs out of the blue, laugh at jokes only they shared and tell him about how the blue sky made her want to be a fairy. Indy didn't seem to tell him many things now. They still shared the same sarcastic sense of humour, they still had their own private jokes, but Indy seemed much less eager to just muck about with her dad these days.
For the five millionth time....treble that, and treble it again by five million...Declan wished Bridget was there. If Bridget was there the whole thing would just be sorted already. She would have calmed India down, she would have calmed him down, and it would all be over. He had been told he idolised Bridget sometimes...maybe it was true, Declan had to admit that she wasn't a saint, but that was what he had loved about her...and even if India had still been angry with them, they'd be in it together. He was trying, he was, but somehow he always seemed to stuff up.
Declan sighed, looked at a picture of Bridget on her wedding day, where she had looked so beautiful, and went to his daughter's room, thinking that she would want him to talk things out with her.
India was fast alseep at last, clutching her pink baby blanket with her mouth open. Declan didn't have the heart to wake her. She looked so sweet and peaceful. He softly closed her door and set about getting ready for Monday.
The next morning India slammed off her alarm before it could shriek more than once. What she wouldn't give to throw it out of the window. Indy wanted to stay in her room all day, clutching her blanket. She knew her mum had held her in that and it made her feel closer to her, somehow. Sometimes she thought she could smell her mother's scent.
She got ready for school and left as quickly as she could, saying a quick, short goodbye to her father. At least she was getting out of the house, she thought.
The walk with Rachel was dreadful. India just wanted to tell her to be quiet and to stop asking her to go over and over the wretched sundae and aftermath, finally snapping, "Just leave it, Rach!"
Rachel's eyes narrowed. "Fine. You're so stroppy these days, Indy!"
India went in feeling even worse. She couldn't find Jamie all morning, finally finding him at break, just as he was closing his locker. He looked distinctively uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry about my dad. He's got an awful temper. He'll get over it."
Jamie shifted uncomfortably.
"India...I don't think I want to go out with you anymore."
It felt as though she had been punched in the stomach.
"But...you bought me a sundae," she said weakly.
"I'm sorry...Stephanie wanted me to go to the cinema with her and I said yes."
"Stephanie?!" Stephanie was a girl who, if you asked India, looked like a Barbie doll. She specifically wore pink polish only on weekends, a fact India knew after being forced to one of her sleepovers and given a makeover. It had taken an hour the next morning to get it all off and her dad had laughed at her.
She didn't know what to say. The bell went. It was time for Maths.
He didn't sit by her. He sat by that Stephanie. India stared at them furiously. How could he prefer her? She looked down at the paper and couldn't do any of it. She looked back up, Stephanie was helping him. They were laughing about something.
It had been the absolute worst day in a long time.
India came home and the minute she got in the tears she'd been surpressing all day came flooding down her cheeks. She didn't even try and stop them.
Declan came out and, seeing that she was in tears, wrapped her into a hug.
"He's going out with Stephanie," India sobbed, not caring how much she was crying. "I suppose it's what you wanted."
"Oh Indy!" her dad hugged her tighter, and felt a lot less guilty about shouting at that boy. "I never wanted that to happen. And you know if he really liked you, he'd have tried again."
"It's not fair," she sobbed harder. "He gave me my first kiss. It must be because I'm ugly and stupid -"
"You're not, you're beautiful and you're clever."
"Dad," sniffled Indy. "I'm sorry I shouted at you. I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I said all those horrible things."
"It's all right," he soothed. "It's okay".
"I'm never going to feel better!" India said, and then she pulled herself away and into her room. A whole week of school left, a whole lousy week, a week until she and her dad could go to Queensland. India pulled out the Bridget Book her dad had made for her, with help from Nan and Grandpa Steve. There was Bridget at seven, with big wild curls and blue eyes, riding her bike, there she was kicking a footy and having the time of her life, there she was at India's age hugging Riley, and then into her teens. India stared at the pictures of her mother, flicking to the very back where was one of her holding India as a baby with the biggest smile Indy had ever seen.
"I miss you so much Mum," Indy mumbled. "I wish I could talk to you about it." How she had clambered for stories of her mother her whole life, ones before Dad had known her. Ones where she was Indy's age. But Nan and Grandpa Steve and Riley had all said Bridget had been fairly secretive the year she'd been twelve, had spent most of her time outside or in her room but she had basically been her animal-loving, football-enthusiast self. Indy didn't feel that she really had much of a picture of her mother at twelve at all. She could imagine her, but yearned for something she could know. She did have one story - Bridget had been forced to a disco at twelve into a dress apparently, had spilt a drink down it and annoyed a girl by dancing with her boyfriend, leading her vow to never go to a dance again because they were stupid. It seemed like her - but Indy wished she knew more. Well, they were going to Queensland next week, she could try and find out more then - if she survived the week to come!