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Post by smilelino on Nov 17, 2010 11:05:00 GMT
I knew that Rachel will be able to help Didge. I am so happy that she was able to confide in her friend. Loved the update. Thank you.
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Post by sophie on Nov 17, 2010 16:39:48 GMT
Thanks! Lino, I'm really impressed at how well you can read and speak English - I can only speak a little bit of French, German and Spanish and am nowhere near fluent at all.
They made their way to the cafe and there sat Donna – Rachel had texted her on the way – but she wasn’t alone. Next to her sat a young man with brown, curly hair and a nervous smile.
“Is that -?”
“That’s Simon,” said Rachel, going over and giving him a smile and a kiss.
“Your English gentleman,” mused Bridget and Simon laughed.
“I try,” he said and he smiled at her.
“It was a surprise,” said Rachel sheepishly. “But I don’t know if you maybe want to meet him properly later – I didn’t know you had so much on your mind...we could always see Simon tomorrow. Do you mind?” she asked, turning to her boyfriend and he shook his head.
“It feels mean,” said Bridget uncertainly. “You’ve come all this way to meet us.”
“Really, it’s fine,” Simon told her. “I can always go for a wander around town while you guys catch up.”
You girls, Bridget thought, thinking of what India would have said, and she smiled to herself.
“No, I don’t want you to go for a wander,” she said, pulling up a chair. “I’ve wanted to meet you for ages and so has Donna. We can have a girly catch-up anytime. Donna, you’ve wanted to meet him, haven’t you?”
“Like hell,” agreed Donna and he laughed and so did Rachel.
“Okay, I’ll stay put. What do you want to know about me then?”
“Only everything,” exclaimed Donna, and he looked a little nervous.
“I’ll try and remember it all then!”
“We want to know how you met Rachel too,” put in Bridget. “And hear your side of the story!”
“What’s she said about me?” he asked, staring at Rachel and she blushed.
“Only good things...but tell them about it later.”
So Simon told them about how he had been born and grown up in Ealing, just outside London and how he’d always wanted to travel but had somehow never left the country, and only London a few times and that was only for quick trips to the beach or various cities his friends had gone to university in.
“I always wanted to go to Australia,” he mused and Donna commented, “Lucky for you then that an Australian came to London!”
“I know,” he agreed, and he carried on telling them about how he had not enjoyed his degree and, despite disappointing his parents, had wound up back in London, living in the cheap parts and working in pubs.
“And then I got a job in the local one,” he grinned. “And luckily for me I was able to get a cheap flat right by it. But that wasn’t the luckiest part...the luckiest part was her being upstairs!”
“Oh, spare us!” laughed Bridget, pretending to be nauseated as they kissed but she felt happy for them really, and Donna sighed and clutched her hands, fully drawn in.
“But I only got to meet her when I helped her back to her flat after one too many,” and he ignored Rachel, who was trying to cut him off as Bridget and Donna started laughing.
“She tried to go in my flat first. Lucky for her I was a gentleman!”
“You swore not to tell!” howled Rachel over her friend and boyfriend’s laughter. “You promised!”
“Yeah, but I crossed my fingers,” he said and stuck his tongue out.
“Finally,” gasped Bridget, “a story that’s worse than mine!”
“What’s yours?” asked Simon and she blushed.
“We don’t need to hear it...”
“Yes, we do,” said Rachel quickly. “It was her twentieth birthday....”
And so Bridget’s story was told too, and one, or two, or three of Donna’s, and the afternoon slipped pleasantly by, as they also admired and played gently with Louise, until Bridget had to go home and wait for India to be dropped off and she and Rachel waved Donna and Simon goodbye.
India herself was having a less pleasant afternoon. Swimming had been fun, she guessed, playing Mermaids and Dolphins with Emily, and lifeguard – the actual lifeguard had not been impressed when he found out Emily was only pretending to drown – and then that had made Emily’s mummy cross and she had taken them home, so they couldn’t swim for longer. They didn’t understand why she had been so angry but when they had got back she had given them bread instead of biscuits and they couldn’t watch a movie.
“Mummies and daddies are so silly,” said Emily. “It was only a game.”
“Mm.” India ate her bread.
“I still want a baby sister,” Emily continued. “Can I have yours?”
India suddenly felt frightened.
“No,” she said. “She might get sick again.”
“Your mummy said she was better!”
“She’s my little sister,” said India protectively and Emily wrinkled her nose.
“But you don’t even like her,” she pointed out. “You said you hated babies. I love babies so why can’t I have your sister? You don’t even want to be a sister.”
This made India feel strange inside and she could not enjoy the rest of her day, even when Emily’s mother forgave them and gave them chocolate. She suddenly didn’t want to be at Emily’s house and actually felt glad when it was time to go home. On the way back she decided on something to make Louise definitely better but this thought was blown out of her head when she saw who was at the door. Rachel had hidden until she had thanked Emily and her mother, only appearing when India had come inside.
“Auntie Rachel!” she shrieked.
“Hey, Indy-pants!” Rachel exclaimed, pulling her into a hug. “I missed you! Did you miss me?”
India nodded into her waist but then remembered something and felt quiet again.
“I thought that was a yes,” said Rachel, frowning and holding India’s shoulders.
“Aren’t you mad at me?” mumbled India, and Rachel and Bridget exchanged nervous glances.
“Mad at you for what?”
“My letter,” explained India. “Mummy said you would be very cross.”
“What letter?”
“It’s okay, Indy,” said Bridget quickly. “It doesn’t matter. We’re not angry now. How about biscuits all round?”
“Yay for biscuits!” exclaimed Rachel, taking India’s hand. “How do you feel about that, Indy?”
India smiled and nibbled at her raisin biscuit, but she couldn’t enjoy it. She did not deserve a biscuit, she thought, and she was surprised Auntie Rachel wasn’t mad. They even watched Animal Astronauts together but India’s mind was filled with her plan, which she suddenly remembered. Then Daddy came back and was exclaiming and hugging Rachel and their talk was filled with Rachel’s journey, her and Bridget’s day and then memories which India could only imagine. She couldn’t believe that her daddy was scared of a snake. Her daddy wasn’t scared of anything.
“Well, I’d better take off,” said Rachel, getting up. “I said I’d come home for dinner and then I have a nephew to spoil. Oh, that reminds me – Indy!”
India came over anxiously. Rachel had something in her hand.
“He’s for you,” she said, pressing it into her hand and India looked down. It was a miniature teddy bear.
“A friend for London!”
“Indy,” reminded Bridget gently as India could only stare at it and she whispered, “Thank you.”
“So what are you going to call him?” asked Declan, grinning at his wife and friend. “Trafalgar?”
“Trafalgar?” echoed India, uncertainly, not understanding the joke nor why her parents and auntie laughed.
“After the square in London,” Bridget explained. “Trafalgar Square.”
“Oh,” said India. “Maybe.”
“One for Louise too,” said Rachel, and she took an identical bear out and handed him to Bridget, who showed it to Louise. “But maybe you should name him, Indy. Louise doesn’t know many names yet!”
India shrugged.
“Do I get a hug and a kiss?” asked Rachel, smiling and India did so, and then she hugged and kissed Louise and then her friends.
“Bye, guys,” she said and then she was waving and leaving.
Bridget sighed.
“I’m going to start dinner.”
“I can do it,” offered Declan but she shook her head.
“I want to. You put Louise down for her nap.”
So Bridget headed to the kitchen, Declan to their room and India to her own to put her plan in motion. She grabbed her small suitcase and put things she wanted on her bed.
Declan laid his youngest daughter gently into her basket and watched as her eyes fluttered shut and her breathing evened until he knew he his baby girl was asleep. He smiled as he watched her. She looked just like Indy as a baby and he had a feeling she would be like her too. Speaking of, he heard strange noises from India’s bedroom and he frowned. He could hear what sounded like drawers banging open and shut and strange thumps, and, not wishing her to wake her sister, he went to see what was going on, after ensuring that the baby monitor was switched on and tiptoeing out. India’s bedroom resembled a bombsite of toys and clothes and her suitcase lay on the bed with some rather scrumpled clothes lying half-in and half-out of it. His daughter raced around the room throwing things towards it.
“Young lady, what are you doing?” Declan asked, and she jumped at his voice but then said firmly, “Running away.”
“Running away where?” he asked, half-amused and half-worried.
“The beach,” she said simply and continued to pick various things up. Declan examined the mess.
“Two pairs of panties, three pairs of socks, a T-shirt, your swimming costume and your jeans?”
“And my special book and magic set,” said India. “So’s I can magic bad things away!”
Declan didn’t know what to do and hovered uncertainly for a moment, considering fetching Bridget, but then he thought of something and he picked up another bag.
“What are you doing?” asked India curiously.
“Running away with you,” said Declan, going to the bathroom and throwing in his toothbrush and then some shirts from his room. India frowned at him.
“Why?”
“My little girl can’t run away on her own, I’d miss her too much. I’m running away with you.”
India paused, uncertain as to whether or not daddies could run away with their daughters.
“If you go by yourself you’ll have no one to play beach games with,” reminded Declan and she hesitated and then nodded, and she picked up Teddy and London and headed out of her room and down the stairs, Declan following.
“Where are you two going?” asked Bridget, who had a hand on her hip and her other hand stirring something on the stove.
“Running away,” said India and Declan raised his eyebrows at her and mouthed, “Don’t worry.”
“We’re going on an adventure,” he said out loud and he followed India out of the front door and down the street, holding her hand. India walked determinedly to the end of it and then stopped suddenly and sat down on the pavement. Her father sat down with her.
“Why have we stopped?”
“I can’t remember the way to the seaside,” she said. I need to think.”
“Okay.”
They sat for a while and Declan ventured, “Indy?”
“Still thinking.”
“Okay.”
Another five minutes passed and India said, “Daddy, I’m cold,” so although she was too old for it he pulled her onto his lap and gave her a cuddle.
“Why are we running away?”
“Louise got sick,” she said in surprise. “Because I thought bad things. And I’m too naughty.”
“What?” echoed Declan in disbelief.
“I’m too naughty,” she repeated and he felt terrible. Maybe he had been too hard on her.
“You’re not too naughty,” he told her, giving her a kiss. “I love you the way you are, even if you are cheeky. That’s why I’m running away with you – I’d miss you too much if you left.”
India pondered this and drew her legs up.
“Daddy, I’m hungry,” she said miserably. “And I didn’t pack any biscuits.”
“You know, there’s a place,” he told her gently, “where it’s warm and there’s food and you can go to bed if you’re tired. Mummy’s there too and she misses you.”
India thought for a moment and then she said, “Running away’s not fun, is it?”
“No, it’s not,” agreed Declan, and she got up, and so did her father, and they walked back hand in hand.
“Oh,” said Bridget in relief, as they came back in. She had known that no harm could come to India if her father was there but she had worried all the same. “Come here Indy,” but India didn’t want to.
“Don’t you want a cuddle?” she asked anxiously but India looked sad and Declan whispered, “She’s been blaming herself,” and Bridget sighed.
“Come on, sweetheart,” she said, taking her hand. She should have done this a long time ago. “Let’s go and have a talk.”
They made their way into India’s bedroom and Bridget raised her eyebrows at the mess but to India’s surprise she did not tell her off but instead cleared some of the clothes off and sat with India against the pillow.
“Why did you run away?”
“Because I was too naughty and I wanted Louise to be okay.”
“But why would your being naughty stop Louise being okay?”
“Because I wished her away,” said India, tears filling her eyes. “I got really angry with her and I hated her and I wished she’d never been born and then she had to go to hospital ‘cause she got really, really sick and it was my fault!”
Bridget couldn’t say anything for a moment but she hugged her daughter. India really was too much like her sometimes.
“Indy,” she said eventually. “Listen to me. Thinking a bad thing doesn’t make it happen.”
“It did, it made Louise sick!” exclaimed India, her lip trembling, but Bridget shook her head.
“No one made Louise sick, darling. It was just a very nasty thing that happened. And you said those things but you didn’t mean them.”
“I thought I did,” said India, confused.
“But you don’t. I know you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have run away and you wouldn’t feel so sad.”
India thought back to the horrible week where her sister had been in hospital. Her grandmother had promised her that it would be okay and that she might have saved Louise by seeing she was ill, but she had felt miserable and guilty.
“You saved her life,” said Bridget gently. “When you saw she had a temperature.”
“I didn’t,” said India uncertainly but Bridget said, “You did,” softly.
“But I didn’t want her,” said India stubbornly. “I didn’t like her because I’m your little girl and I said a spell with my magic kit to make her go away and it worked!”
“India, you don’t have that kind of magic. No one does. It didn’t make Louise ill because no one made her ill and you didn’t mean it. I used to tell your Uncle Riley that I hated him all the time.”
“But you and Uncle Riley are friends!” exclaimed India and Bridget smiled at her.
“Not when we were children. I wanted nasty things to happen to him all the time but they didn’t, because you can’t make bad things happen, and if it had happened I would have been just as sad as you because I love your uncle. Josie and Clara say nasty things to each other too but they don’t mean it. Indy, it’s part of being a sister.”
“You said I should love her. You got really mad at me.”
“I know,” said Bridget thoughtfully. “And I do, and I don’t want you to be nasty to her. But lots of little boys and girls are nasty to their little brothers and sisters and you don’t want to be nasty to her now, do you?”
India shook her head so her curls shook out.
“I’m sorry Mummy,” she said in a wobbly voice and Bridget hugged her.
“I’m sorry too,” she said. “I’m sorry we haven’t had a proper time together since Louise was born. I would probably have been mad too. I know it’s upsetting when Louise cries and I don’t look at you. I don't love her any more than you. It’s just hard being a mummy sometimes.”
“It’s hard being a sister.”
“Well, I know that too,” agreed Bridget, stroking her hair. “Now. Tell me all about your tooth.”
So India told her the whole story, and lots of other things too and Bridget hugged her and promised to write the tooth fairy a note.
“It’s not too late?”
“It’s never too late.”
Half an hour later they came out. Dinner was ready and Declan had Louise in his arms, who had woken up.
“We’re okay?” he asked anxiously and Bridget agreed, “We’re okay.”
“Don’t forget your new teddy, Indy,” said Declan, handing Louise to Bridget and picking up Trafalgar, but India shook her head and took him to Louise, placing him in her tiny hands.
“He’s Louise’s.”
“But Indy,” said Bridget, touched. “Auntie Rachel gave it as a present to you and Louise has a teddy bear from her as well.”
“Not two,” argued India. “I have two from Auntie Rachel and she’s only got one. It’s not fair. Do you think Auntie Rachel will mind?”
“No,” grinned Bridget over India’s head to Declan. “I really think she won’t. Here, Indy, do you want to hold her?”
“Okay,” said India nervously and Bridget took her to the sofa and gently placed Louise in her arms.
“She’s holding my finger!” gasped India as Louise suddenly gripped it tight with her whole fist.
“She’s your sister,” reminded Bridget, putting her arm around Declan. “She loves you.”
India grinned down at her and then looked up.
“I love her too,” she said and then, rather unromantically, added, “even if she cries and pukes and smells!” and Bridget burst into laughter, as the moment had not been ruined at all.
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Post by Bee on Nov 17, 2010 23:31:37 GMT
Naww that was sweet Sophie! I'm glad Indy loves her sister now (:
Cant wait for more (:
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Post by sophie on Nov 21, 2010 17:58:16 GMT
Thanks!
Bridget and Declan lay curled up in bed.
“She’s just like her mum,” sighed Bridget, after Declan had told her about India’s running away.
“Really?”
“I ran away when I was seven too – only to the end of the road – and then Dad came and got me, like you got Indy.”
She smiled at him.
“Any dad would,” said Declan, grinning. “Why did you run away?”
“Oh, Mum had told me off for something. I can’t even remember what it was now, something really stupid, and anyway, I packed my little pink suitcase and said I was running away, just like Indy. Only she was more prepared than me,” laughed Bridget. “All I packed was my jumper, my teddy bear and my tiger slippers! That was it! At least Indy thought of her jeans and undies!”
“She remembered her teddies too,” said Dec and Bridget said, very seriously, “Well, they’re the most important thing to pack!”
They both laughed and then Bridget asked, “Did you ever run away?” and then quickly added, “As a kid, I mean.”
Declan thought back and then looked serious.
“When I was seven Mum was in a really bad mood. She had been up all night chucking stuff into boxes and she shouted at me when I got up late for school, and then I got a really great mark on my spelling test. I tried to show it to her when she picked me up but even though she smiled and said well done she stopped listening and was really distracted. When we got back she said I couldn’t watch my show because we had to go, and then I got really mad because I liked where we lived and I liked my school, and my teacher, for once, and I had a friend called Luke. And she told me not to argue and I felt so sick of having to move that I decided to move to the beach and I packed my bathers and my teddy – yeah, yeah, we all had teddies! – and I slipped out the back door. I got to the end of the road and then I couldn’t go any further, something stopped me, so I just sat there. It felt like ages but it was probably only five minutes and then Mum was screaming my name and she raced up when she saw me and she was so white in the face. She shook me and started crying and said that she thought maybe someone had got me, but she wouldn’t say who, and then I really did have to pack my bag because we left right then. I don’t remember where the house was now.”
The atmosphere changed and Bridget stared at him with her mouth open. She knew Declan probably had tons of those stories but he never told her and she never asked. She knew it was something he didn’t like to remember. Declan gave a nervous laugh.
“Sorry Didge. That was a bit of a mood-killer!”
“No, don’t be sorry,” Bridget said, stumbling over her words a little. She could never understand that – her with her secure background, from the age of seven at least, where if you ran away your father rescued you, not the other way round. You never had to run away from him.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s in the past.”
“I know, but –“ Bridget paused. “It might make you feel better. I felt better when I told you about Joanna taking me.”
He looked embarrassed and then he said, “I don’t like thinking about it. Mum did a great job, you know. It was only when we were running that I ever felt really scared, or if I heard her crying. She always made me feel safe.”
Bridget didn’t know what to say so she gave him a big hug and a kiss.
“You’re amazing, you know that, don’t you? And Rebecca.”
“Mum’s more amazing.”
“You both are.”
Declan was quiet and then he said, “I don’t think it’s something you can get over, if that’d the right phrase. I’ll always carry it with me, but I don’t think it hurts me. Not as much as it did.”
“I know,” said Bridget quietly. “We all have demons.”
Bridget put her head on his chest and they lay quietly for a while and then, out of the blue, Bridget said, “I think I’m going to get rid of my study books.”
“What?!” exclaimed Declan and Bridget lifted her head up and sat up. Now her husband stared at her with his mouth open.
“I thought you’d be pleased,” she said defensively. “You’re always telling me I stressed too much about it.”
“Well, yeah, but –“ Declan flustered. “What I meant is that you should give yourself more of a break, not that you should give up on it totally.”
“That’s what Rachel said,” admitted Bridget.
“She’s right.”
“But Louise is here now,” said Bridget. “How am I going to study with two small children? And Louise is a baby.”
“Didge, why don’t you just give it a rest for a bit and then go back to it?”
“I want to give all my time to her,” said Bridget, looking down. “To Louise, so she doesn’t get sick again. And Indy.”
“Didge, what?” asked Declan, confused. “Studying isn’t going to make Louise sick.”
“No, but if I don’t study then I can keep an eye on her and I’ll be the one to see if she gets a temperature, not Indy.”
Bridget felt tears spark in her eyes.
“Didge,” said Declan softly. “You know it wasn’t our fault. Louise was fine when we put her to bed.”
“I know, but I’ve been thinking about so much lately. I was. All day I was worrying about study and looking after her so I didn’t notice that she was so grizzly and getting an infection.”
“Bridget, that’s crazy,” exclaimed Declan. “No, it is. Do you think it was my fault too, if I didn’t see she was sick?”
“You were at work all day!”
“Didge, all babies grizzle and don’t sleep. Indy was just the same and she didn’t have GBS. It wasn’t because you were thinking about other stuff too much, and if you study it’s not going to make her sick again, or stop you noticing that she’s getting sick!”
“I know it’s true,” said Bridget after a pause. “But Declan, I can’t stop worrying. I just think I should focus on being a mum. At least then I’ll just be worrying about the girls.”
“Didge, you’ve never wanted that.”
“Maybe I’ve changed my mind,” shot back Bridget, but she didn’t sound happy. Declan sighed.
“Didge, if it really makes you worry that much then it isn’t worth it, but I think you’re being too hasty.”
“Declan Napier, you’re one to talk about being hasty!” exclaimed Bridget. “You always jump int stuff headfirst!”
“Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Didge, please sleep on it.”
“I won’t change my mind,” she warned.
“Well, just put them away then, the books, but don’t throw them out. Don’t throw away your notes.”
“Okay,” agreed Bridget. “But you know I don’t sit on the fence with stuff.”
“I know you change your mind sometimes,” said Declan honestly. “And sometimes you do stuff before you think about it – yes, I know I’m one to talk! I never denied it!”
Bridget didn’t know what to say so she frowned.
“If I promise not to throw anything away will you stop lecturing?”
“You love it when I lecture,” teased Declan. “Because it’s so rare.”
“Ha!”
“India was so cute earlier.”
“Huh?” asked Bridget, blinking.
“You said change the subject!”
“Wise guy,” said Bridget, pretending to hit him on the head with a pillow but their talk to turned to their daughters.
“We have two pretty amazing girls, don’t you reckon?”
“The best,” agreed Bridget. “The best.”
The next day Bridget looked at her desk. Declan had gone to work and India was making faces at Louise, trying to make her smile. She picked up the books and the papers and hesitated, before finally slotting them into a drawer. Before stepping back to see what it looked like with nearly nothing on it Bridget quickly checked her e-mails. She had one from her boss but she felt upset and decided to look at it later, as it was probably only about maternity leave. She quickly shut down the computer with a snap and got up from the chair, looking at the desk properly. The desk looked oddly bare – naked for the first time in all the years they had lived there, and it did look wrong. Bridget told herself that it was just because it was new and then India was calling so she turned her back on it and hurried over.
“Mummy, she won’t smile!” sighed India. “Why not? Am I boring?”
“Indy, she’s less than a month old,” said Bridget gently. “It takes a long time for babies to learn to smile.”
“Oh,” said India, head on side. “Should I stop trying then?”
“No,” laughed Bridget. “She might today, you never know.”
“Where did I first smile?”
“In the general store for me and your grandma,” said Bridget, smiling in memory. “And Sophie Ramsay – you won’t remember her – and Susan were there too. Your daddy was very sorry that he missed it and made you smile for the rest of the day.”
“I can’t imagine not being able to smile,” said India thoughtfully. “It must be so weird being a baby.”
“I know,” agreed Bridget and then there was a ring on the bell and India ran to get it. It was Donna and Rachel.
“Hey,” they cried, swooping India into a hug. “Hey Didge!”
“Hey guys,” said Bridget, smiling as India took both their hands and led them to the sofa.
“I’m trying to make Louise smile,” she told them. “But she won’t!”
“Let Auntie Donna have a try,” said Donna and Bridget went and handed Louise to her. As India laughed at her blowing raspberries at her sister Rachel’s eyes wandered around the room and widened when they settled on the empty desk.
“You didn’t!” she hissed at Bridget and Bridget raised her eyes and took her to the kitchen where they could talk in private.
“I only put them away,” she said defensively, putting on the kettle.
“But what about our talk?” asked Rachel in disbelief.
“I know it wasn’t my fault,” said Bridget uncomfortably. “But I’m so stressed Rach...I don’t want uni stuff to add to it.”
“But it’s always been your dream. When I was prattling on about becoming famous you kept talking about how you wanted to be a vet.”
“Things change,” said Bridget defensively. “Stuff happens. India happened and I made my choice.”
“But you still said you’d be a doctor even when you got pregnant! You promised it wouldn’t stop you!”
“It was very easy to say,” said Bridget, feeling sad. “That I’d do it all. But I can’t. It’s so hard being a mum in the first place. I might have done it with just Indy but now I have Louise and she’s just a baby and I have to focus on her!”
“You’re still blaming yourself, aren’t you?” asked Rachel shrewdly.
“No!”
The kettle boiled and Bridget took the opportunity to pour the drinks out so she wouldn’t have to look at her best friend. It didn’t stop Rachel.
“You are, I know it. Didge, it wasn’t your fault. If you study it won’t harm Louise.”
“That’s what Declan said.”
“Great minds...”
“But Louise is so little.”
“Just take a break for a bit then!”
“I don’t know if I can,” said Bridget truthfully and Rachel sighed.
“I’ll respect your decision, Didge, but I know you. I reckon this is all because you’re feeling guilty. You’ve got to listen to me, it wasn’t, wasn’t, wasn’t your fault!”
“I know,” said Bridget quickly and Rachel sighed. “Help me bring the drinks through.”
The afternoon passed pleasantly and then Rachel and Donna left and Declan came home from work. He too sighed at the empty desk but didn’t make a thing of it and played with Louise and India as Bridget made dinner. As she ate though, she couldn’t concentrate and her mind played on what Rachel had said to her.
“Are you okay?” asked Declan, frowning, and Bridget jumped.
“Fine.”
“You look worried.”
“I’m fine,” Bridget repeated but later on, when India had been bathed, pyjamad and read to and was finally in bed, her sister too, Bridget suddenly felt that she had to talk to someone, and it could not be anyone else, and so she stood up, knowing that she couldn't wait a second longer.
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Post by Bee on Nov 22, 2010 5:26:54 GMT
Nice update Sophie, Cant wait for more
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Post by sophie on Nov 22, 2010 11:58:07 GMT
Thanks!
"Dec, can you watch the girls?"
"Sure," he said, frowning. "Why?"
"I want to see Mum," she said, pulling on her coat.
"Now?" he echoed. "Have you called her?"
"Dad's away on a vet's conference," she told him. "Mum's all alone tonight."
"How do you know she hasn't gone out?"
"Mum never goes out on a Thursday night," she told him. "Her show's on and she likes to make a thing of it and sit and watch it in her pyjamas."
"How do you know she hasn't recorded it and gone out with some friends?"
"I just know she hasn't," Bridget said stubbornly. "I know Mum and I know she'll be in front of the TV, only by herself tonight."
"You're going to interrupt it?"
"It's nearly finished," said Bridget, giving him a kiss. "Do you mind?"
"No," sighed Declan, knowing that he could never, not in all their years together, fully understand Bridget. "Go on."
"Thanks," said Bridget, kissing him again, and, as she stepped out, called, "You're the best husband ever!"
Bridget drove in determination not even bothering with the radio, despite the long drive. She didn't want music to distract her and she reached the house quite quickly and ran to the door, ringing on the bell.
Miranda came and opened the door in her pyjamas, looking annoyed at the interruption but when she saw Bridget her face changed to pleasant surprise.
"Darling," she said. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay? Louise is okay, isn't she? India?"
"They're fine," said Bridget, registering the note of alarm in her mother's voice. "I didn't mean to scare you – I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, come in."
Bridget stepped into the house and hugged her mother.
"How was the show?"
"Great, as normal," and then Miranda was off telling her daughter all about the contestants, making a drink in the meantime. Bridget took her coat off and hung it on the coatrack and then sat on the sofa whilst her mother brought two steaming mugs over.
"Hot chocolate?" she said in surprise when she saw what it was. Miranda smiled.
"When you were a little girl and had to tell me something you always asked for hot chocolate."
"How do you know I want to tell you something?"
"Because I know you better than anyone."
Bridget was silent. Her mother was right. She sipped the chocolate.
"I'm going to say what I always said to you when you were little," said Miranda. "If you want to tell me something it's best just to say it rather than to worry about it."
Bridget looked down and then said,
"I put all my study books away."
Miranda looked shocked.
"But...why?"
"It stressed me out," Bridget told her. "I can't get stressed out. The day Louise got sick I was thinking about other things. Before that too, all I thought about was when I could ever go to uni."
"Bridget," said Miranda gently, "don't tell me you're blaming yourself for it."
"I'm not," sniffled Bridget. "But I'm sure that if I didn't have the study stuff hanging over my head I'd have noticed!"
"That is blaming yourself," said Miranda, taking her daughter's hand. "You're feeling guilty for studying and you'll feel guilty for studying in the future."
"How can everyone say that I can't blame myself?" asked Bridget tearfully. "If I hadn't studied –"
"It would not have changed anything," said Miranda quietly. "Declan looks after Louise too, Bridget, and he didn't notice anything."
"Because he was at work!"
"Because it was hard to spot. Louise was grizzly and being sick and not sleeping properly and Bridget, if she hadn't been ill, I'd have sworn blind that was just symptoms of a newborn baby."
"Her skin was red earlier in the day," said Bridget quietly. "And I looked at it and decided it was normal. So did Dec."
"Well then."
"If I wasn't so stressed out I might have looked at it more."
"Or you would have agreed with Declan and decided not to worry about what you thought was nothing. I'd probably have done the same thing."
"But it's just not worth it!" said Bridget tearfully. "I can't study and raise two children, I can't!"
"You were doing it before."
"With just India!"
"I know Louise is a baby now," said Miranda gently. "But don't you think you could still try, even in small stages? Maybe take a break for a few months, if it's too much. Don't give up on it."
"Mum, it's so hard," said Bridget honestly. "It's hard being a teenage mum – I know I'm not a teenager now but I was – and it's even harder putting study in the mix. I think I'll just be a mum."
"You can't!" said Miranda in a shocked voice.
"But you did for a while," said Bridget, confused. "You gave up work for ages."
"Because I wanted to."
"I want to."
"No, you don't. I know you, Bridget. You're doing this out of guilt."
"But everyone told me I studied too much."
"Yes, but that doesn't mean stop studying completely."
"I thought everyone might be glad," said Bridget honestly. "Because they all said it was too stressful. If I focus on the girls completely, I can just worry about them."
Miranda was quiet and thoughtful and then she said,
"Bridget, when you told me you were pregnant a hundred things went through my head. I was scared and upset and angry and I was frightened. I was so frightened for you, for so many things, but I remember one thing so clearly."
"What?"
"You had dropped off to sleep," said Miranda with a sad smile. "In the hospital. It had been so crazy – you had blurted it out to me and your dad and you were clutching at your stomach, and you had to go to hospital and it was all so terrifying but finally they said you were okay and I sat with you. Your dad had gone to...I don't know, he's never told me. Think about it all, I suppose. Anyway, you'd been crying and I'd been hugging you, promising you it would be all right and then you finally dropped off into a sleep. There were still tears on your eyelashes and you had a red face from all the crying. And you'd fallen asleep holding my hand, and I kept on holding it, and I looked at you, my girl, fifty things whirling round my mind. But my biggest fear was you losing your education. I remember only a week before you said to me and your dad, so brightly and so happily, that you had decided to go for medicine and we had never been so proud of you. And now this had happened and I could not bear the thought of you leaving school and not completing your exams and never going to university and losing your dream. But I thought to myself, this is Bridget. And she's the most infuriatingly stubborn daughter I could ever have asked for but in that moment I was glad. I was glad because I knew a lot of girls in your position would probably give up, but I knew you wouldn't. If you kept the baby or not I knew either way that you would never give up on your studies or your dream of becoming a doctor."
Bridget stared at her mother, her chocolate forgotten. Finally she weakly said,
"Mum, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't do it now and I'm sorry I got pregnant again. I'm sorry that I got pregnant so young."
"Bridget, that's not what I'm saying!" exclaimed Miranda. "I'm not saying that you've let me down by hitting a low patch! I'm saying that you can't give up on your studies. I totally understand if you want to have a break for a few months until Louise is older, but I don't understand you suddenly telling me you want to be a housewife. You have never wanted that. I know some women do, and I was one of them, for a while, but you don't. If Louise hadn't got ill we wouldn't be having this conversation. Bridget, my girl, you are blaming yourself and you can't. Louise got ill because it was bad luck and blaming yourself and throwing away what you want isn't going to change things. Think about if it was India. Think about if it was all she wanted to go to university too, and then she came up to you when she was seventeen and said that she was having a baby, and then, years later, the same things happened. Would you say it was her fault? Would you say that she should stop studying until her children had grown up?"
Bridget stared at her and then gave a deep shuddering gasp and burst into tears.
"Oh Mum," she sobbed as Miranda hugged her. "How did you bear it?"
"Bear what?"
"Me nearly dying," sobbed Bridget. "When Susan hit me and I was in a coma. How could you stand me nearly dying? How did you not go crazy?"
"I think I did, a little," said Miranda but Bridget shook her head.
"How did you go back to life? How? I can't relax, I can't stop thinking about it, my heart races when I pick Louise up from her nap or in the morning. I feel so frantic, all the time."
"I did, for a while."
"So can't you understand it?" sobbed Bridget. "Can't you understand how I have to look at her all the time and forget any distraction?"
"Oh, my darling girl. Of course I understand it but that doesn't mean you're right. I truly believe that if you do give up on these dreams forever you will regret it for the rest of your life."
"I couldn't cry," gasped Bridget as Miranda hugged her. "Not until Rachel came home. Why not?"
"You were traumatised."
"It felt like there was something wrong with me and now I can't stop!"
"There is nothing wrong with you," said Miranda gently. "You have been through the worst hell anyone can imagine."
"I just wanted to break her incubator," Bridget told her. "I wanted her in my arms so badly. And I kept wondering what I had done to put her in it in the first place."
"Nothing. You did nothing wrong."
Bridget couldn't speak for a while but she carried on crying into her mother's shoulder. It felt as though floodgates had opened but Miranda didn't try and stop her. Finally Bridget pulled away, sniffling.
"Sorry, Mum."
"Don't be sorry. You needed to get it out."
"I've left a wet patch on your shoulder!"
"It's only water," said Miranda and Bridget laughed.
"You never said that when I came in soaking from the rain!"
"You must be feeling better if you're talking back again!"
Bridget smiled and then she frowned and said,
"If it was Indy, or Louise, I'd tell them the exact same thing you told me. Why do I feel differently about me?"
"That's being a mother," said Miranda simply. "Taking too much responsibility and doing anything for your children."
Bridget looked down and smiled.
"Go on, drink you chocolate, it's getting cold," said Miranda, as though Bridget was a child again and she meekly sipped it.
"Thanks, Mum," she sniffled and Miranda's face softened.
"You're welcome darling."
Bridget stayed for while longer, telling her mother about India's change of heart and Miranda smiled.
"I told you she'd come round, even if she did take her time."
"I know, you're right," admitted Bridget, looking at her mug. "She's as stubborn as me!"
"In a good way though," assured Miranda and Bridget smiled and lay her head of her mother's shoulder, and they talked for a while about family life, and what it was to be a mother to a stubborn girl (or to be one, in Bridget's case). As Bridget finally said goodnight and drove away Miranda waved her hand in farewell until her daughter's car was out of sight and she smiled ruefully to herself. Maybe she did come first, after all. She had always had a slight jealousy, first of Rebecca, and more lately of Joanna, as she felt Bridget went to them more than she, but now she knew. She was Bridget's mother, no matter what, and there were things only Bridget could tell a mother – and that mother was her.
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Post by Bee on Nov 22, 2010 12:16:15 GMT
nice update Sophie (: cant wait for more!!
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Post by sophie on Nov 23, 2010 0:22:48 GMT
Thanks! One chapter left!
When Bridget got back Declan was sitting on the sofa waiting, but he stood up when she got in.
“Hey,” he said in concern, noting the signs of recent crying on her face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” said Bridget with a smile and gave him a hug. “No, I am.”
“You’ve been crying.”
“I’m okay,” Bridget said with a watery smile. “I think I needed to.”
“Okay,” said Declan, but he looked sad and then got up. “I’ll make some tea or something.”
“Tea?” echoed Bridget, getting up and following him to the kitchen.
“Well, Mum always says you should make it when you’re upset!” said Declan defensively.
“Mum made me hot chocolate.”
“Hot chocolate then,” sighed Declan, going to the cupboard and grabbing the mixture. Bridget put her hand on his arm.
“What’s wrong?”
Declan looked up into her searching blue eyes.
“You never told me you were upset!” he exclaimed, feeling hurt and Bridget felt terrible.
“Dec....it’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just that I felt like I couldn’t. It felt like Mum was the only one I could talk to about it.”
“But I’m your husband,” said Declan in frustration. “I love you, you can tell me anything.”
“I know I can.” Bridget picked at a hangnail. “It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you about it, it was just that I really wanted to talk to Mum.”
“It feels like when you worry about stuff you always tell someone else before me.”
“That’s not true!” exclaimed Bridget, stung.
“You told Mum you were pregnant before me.”
“Come on Dec,” said Bridget, hurt. “You know why that was. I talked to you about it at the time, you know that’s not fair.”
“And you told Rachel you were stressed before me too.”
Bridget was quiet for a moment and then she said, “Dec, it’s not because I felt like I can’t go to you about stuff, but there’s some things you can only tell a friend or your mum first. I don’t know why. Maybe I was worried about letting you down, in my subconscious or something.”
“You’re not letting me down by being upset about stuff!” exclaimed Declan. “It’s not something you’ve done wrong!”
“I know it’s stupid,” said Bridget earnestly. “I know it doesn’t sound right...but Dec, you know what it’s like when you just want to talk to your mum about stuff, don’t you?”
“I guess,” said Declan, still sounding hurt, but he gave her a smile. Bridget went over and hugged him.
“I’ll talk about it now, if you want.”
“Whenever you’re ready,” said Declan, and he looked at the cocoa mixture in his hands.
“Do you want me to make the drink?” ventured Bridget. “I could do with some more hot chocolate.”
“Hot chocolate?” came an excited voice suddenly, and Bridget and Declan turned round to see their eldest daughter jumping up in down in excitement.
“Miss, you should be in bed,” said Declan, going over to her.
“I can’t sleep, Josie and Clara are coming tomorrow!”
“Go on back to bed so you’ll awake in the morning,” her mother told her.
“If I can have a mug of hot chocolate!”
“You’re cheeky!” exclaimed Declan. “Bargaining already!”
“Please?”
“I’ll make you some tomorrow,” Bridget told her. “When Josie and Clara come over, how about that? It’s bedtime now.”
India looked for a moment as though she would argue but then she sighed.
“Okay. Can I have a story?”
“A small one,” said Declan, grimacing at Bridget and taking India’s hand. “Come on now.”
As Bridget made the drinks she heard Declan reading quietly to India and she smiled to herself.
“She’s off to sleep?” she asked, as Declan came back.
“Like a light,” he said, yawning.
“You’re not off to sleep too, are you?”
“No,” he said, quickly, picking up a mug.
“Good,” said Bridget. “Because I do want to talk about it now.”
So they sat on the sofa and finally all of Bridget’s worries came out, and then Declan’s, and then Bridget’s visit to Miranda.
“I don’t know how to describe it,” said Bridget thoughtfully. “It was like it was all held up inside me and then it all came crashing out and wouldn’t stop.”
“I’m glad you saw Miranda,” said Declan, taking her hand. “Even if you didn’t tell me. And you’re going to study again?”
Bridget looked down.
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?” he echoed, surprised.
“I’ll think about it,” said Bridget firmly. “Anyway...what do you want for your birthday?”
“You studying!”
“Dec!”
“Ah, I don’t know. I’m happy with anything, Didge. I just want you and the girls here and to be happy.”
“Ah, Dec,” said Bridget, touched, but then Declan gave her a cheeky grin.
“But if there’s a surprise party I really need to know!”
“You wish,” said Bridget, rolling her eyes and grinning. “As if we’ve had the time!”
“I was right last time!”
“Well, you’re not this time. I didn't have children then,” said Bridget firmly, and she shut down Declan’s protests. In the end they watched some television and headed to bed themselves, and Bridget felt thankful for him.
The next morning Declan headed to work and was running late. He kissed Bridget and his daughters and then called, as he ran out, “Have a great time with Josie and Clara guys!”
“We girls!” shouted India indignantly but he already gone and Bridget smiled at her.
“You are a feminist already Indy.”
“I’m not! What’s a feminist?”
“A good thing,” said Bridget, laughing. “Now come on, get dressed. They’re coming soon.”
Whilst Bridget waited for them to arrive she looked at her empty desk. She sat down at it, still finding it strange that the wood was nearly bare and, without really thinking about it, opened a drawer and half-slid a book out. She held it between two fingers and then pulled it out completely, her big textbook which she had spent hours poring over. She stared at it, thinking, when the doorbell rang and she jumped and hastily put it back in before racing India to the door. She got there first and threw herself around Josie’s waist.
“Hello,” said Joanna fondly. “You’re sure you don’t mind looking after the girls for a few hours?”
“Of course I don’t. Come in. Do you want a drink?”
“I would, but I have to meet my friend in towns. Now. You two,” said Joanna, looking sternly at her daughters. “Don’t you be giving Bridget any grief.”
“As if, Mum!” said Clara innocently and Joanna raised her eyebrows but let it go.
“I’ll see you later,” she said and then hurried back to her car.
“Where’s Louise?” asked Josie, who was now holding India’s hand.
“Asleep,” Bridget told her, but as a cry filled the air she grimaced and said, “She was. Hang on, girls,” and she went to the nursery.
“Come on,” she said gently, picking Louise up and rubbing her back. Her daughter’s cries ceased.
“She’s so cute,” came a voice behind her, making Bridget jump. She had not realised that Clara had followed her in.
“I know,” said Bridget fondly.
“I’m glad she’s okay,” said Clara awkwardly.
“Me too. I know you are.”
“I was really scared,” said Clara, sniffling a little and Bridget came and put her free arm around her.
“She’s okay now.”
“I know,” sniffled Clara. “But it was really awful...even if she’s not my...”
“She’s still your niece,” said Bridget, giving her a kiss. “Do you want to go and get a drink? I promised Indy hot chocolate last night and I know she’ll hold me to it!”
“Okay,” said Clara and they walked out. Bridget gave Louise to her whilst she made the drinks and they could hear Josie playing with India in the sitting room.
“I wish I was a kid sometimes.”
“You are a kid!” Bridget got the milk out.
“I mean, I wish I was Indy’s age, or even Josie’s. It feels like forever ago.”
“I know that,” said Bridget, turning and giving her an anxious smile. “How have you been anyway?”
Clara shrugged.
“Good, I guess, but I don’t want to go back to school much.”
“Because of your friends?” asked Bridget gently. “You know, you’ll find better ones.”
“I know.” Clara absentmindedly played with a fork.
“Andrew?”
“Him!” she said scornfully, dropping the fork. “I’m over him!”
Bridget tried not to laugh.
“Good girl.”
“I’m glad too,” came Josie’s voice, who had slid up suddenly without them noticing. “Because she was the soppiest dag ever when she was with him!”
“I wasn’t!” shouted Clara, surprising Louise and making her squawk, and going red in the cheeks.
“Girls, come on,” said Bridget sternly, before Josie could answer back, and taking Louise and calming her. “Clara, take those drinks to the sitting room and I’ll be there in a sec.”
Josie giggled as she flounced off.
“Well, I’ll never fall in love,” she said decisively. “Not if I become a soppy dag like that!”
Bridget gave her a knowing smile.
“I wouldn’t say she was in love. And you never know, you might like someone one day...”
“Oh, yuck, yuck, yuck!” sighed Josie, picking up one of the mugs. “I never will, ever! Clara’s so much more fun now. She even had a laugh with Dad the other day!”
“That’s good,” said Bridget happily and Josie gave a real smile.
“He called me Fairy again too.”
Bridget put her arm around her and they walked out with the rest of the drinks, spending the rest of the afternoon playing board games, with only minor squabbling.
Two weeks later it was Declan’s birthday. Bridget got up at six, whilst he lay snoring and tiptoed to the kitchen where she prepared a breakfast. She was just getting ready to turn round to go back to the bedroom when, out of nowhere, India was standing there grinning.
“Can I help?” she asked loudly and Bridget put a finger to her lips.
“Shh, if you’re quiet. Go and get your present for Daddy.”
India padded to her room, grabbed her present and hurried back to her mother’s side. They walked quietly to the bedroom and Bridget even got the door open but fell at the last hurdle when her foot caught the rug and she slipped and dropped the tray, making Declan wake up with a jump.
“What?” he asked blearily.
“Happy Birthday Daddy!” shouted India and she ran and jumped onto his bed.
“India, settle down,” mumbled Bridget but Declan didn’t mind and, grinning, he caught hold of his daughter so she stopped jumping and lay next to him.
“Didge, what’s this?”
She looked down at the upturned tray and said sheepishly, “Breakfast in bed?”
He burst into laughter and so did India and then eventually so did Bridget, and it was a while before they could stop.
“Open my present!” demanded India.
“Indy,” admonished Bridget but Declan grinned.
“I don’t need to be asked!” he said and ripped it open to find a mug painted in bizarre patterns.
“I made it!” shouted India. “I made it at school and painted it!”
“It’s amazing!” said Declan, admiring the crazily painted flowers and patterns. “I’ll drink my coffee out of it!”
“Regretting that decision?” whispered Bridget after breakfast. Declan had stayed true to his word and was drinking his coffee out of his new mug, but had realised too late that there was a tiny hole in the side.
“It makes drinking more exciting,” he said, rolling his eyes and Bridget laughed.
“Thanks for my new sunglasses. How did you know they were the ones I wanted?”
“You only spent about a year staring at them in the shop!”
He laughed.
“They’re awesome.”
“Best present ever?” she asked, half-teasing.
“I still like the one that’s small and all about me!”
“Mum and Dad still don’t know,” giggled Bridget, pulling down her jeans slightly.
“It’s still as sexy as ever. I still can’t believe I wussed out.” He looked ashamed.
“Hey, that dot shows you didn’t,” she said firmly. “Loud and proud.”
“Loud and proud,” he echoed and they kissed.
A little while later Declan wandered over to the girls. India was playing with Louise and he went over to join them, holding the mug over a bowl. Bridget went to her desk. She had started to miss her study and considered what Miranda and everyone else had said. But how could she do it? She turned on her computer and checked her e-mails, and then again saw the one she had forgotten from her boss. She clicked on it and read it, read it through again out of shock and then shouted, “Hey, Dec!”
“What?” he asked, hurrying over. “What is it?”
“There’s a course,” she said, hardly believing it as she said it. “And it starts next year. It’s on biosciences and it’s two nights a week...I mean, it’s not medicine, but it’s a starting point, isn’t it? It runs for a year and Declan, I have the qualifications!”
“Didge!” exclaimed Declan. “Does that mean you can go to uni with it?”
“Yes!” she squeaked, her heart racing. “I could use that as an extra base – I already have the grades I need but it will refresh everything! It starts in February and if it runs for a year that means that Louise will be a bit older! I could do it! Dec, I could really, really do it!”
He laughed in disbelief, got her up from the chair and twirled her round.
“I knew you could do it! I always said you had brains enough for both of us!”
“She said I could be a student next time,” said Bridget fondly. “My boss. And it’s actually happening!”
“Mummy! Daddy!” shrieked India and they hurried over, still laughing.
“What is it?”
“Louise smiled!” she exclaimed. “She did, she smiled at me!”
“What?” exclaimed Bridget, a little saddened that she had missed it. “Oh, you clever girl Indy!”
“Smile again!” demanded Declan to his youngest but it was only when India made a silly face that her sister did, and her smile filled her whole face.
“Oh, you clever girl!” Bridget said to her, filled with love as she swooped her up. “You beautiful, clever girl, Louise! And don’t you have a clever sister too?”
India grinned.
“It’s the best birthday present ever!” announced Declan and suddenly there was a ring on the bell and Bridget went to answer it with a grin.
“Better than the surprise party I organised?”
“You didn’t!” exclaimed Declan as his mother, Donna, Rachel, Zeke, Simon , Jess and other friends piled in.
“Your mum helped.”
“No offence, Didge,” grinned Declan, taking Louise from her and giving her a kiss. “But that smile is the best thing I could ever have asked for. It’s even better than that present you got me when you were seventeen. It’s amazing.”
“None taken,” said Bridget, grinning back as everyone settled in. “None taken at all.”
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Post by sophie on Nov 24, 2010 16:43:18 GMT
This is the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who read and commented!
The ceremony was beautiful. Riley and Marie had exchanged their vows in a small country church near the beach. The ceremony had been small and simple with only their family and some of their friends and India, Clara and Josie had been bridesmaids, with a friend of Riley's for the best man. Miranda had cried, and Marie's mother and Bridget knew Steve had too, though he had tried to hide it, and she had smiled, but had felt emotional too. It was hard not to, seeing the brother she had grown up with, so secretive and guarded, sharing his love for a woman and declaring it to the world. The ceremony had not lasted long but it had struck Bridget deep inside and she knew that she would hold the memory close to her forever, and remember everything about it. Suddenly, it had all been over and they were filing out of the church and to the reception, which was in a small, community hall next to the sea.
"We don't want one of those big, fancy weddings," Riley had told her, sounding like Bridget herself. "Marie doesn't either. What's the point? It's about us committing it to each other and sharing it with the ones we love, not about an expensive dress and big venue."
And Bridget had understood completely, and so did their parents, though she knew Miranda was slightly disappointed that neither of her children had gone for a bigger one. She knew that her mother would have been in her element organising it all but the pride and happiness on her mother's face showed that it didn't matter at all.
It was an unnaturally warm October day and the sun beat down from the clear sky as they waved Riley and Marie off first in their wedding car – slightly silly, as the venue was only a ten minute walk, but it was traditional, and they all made their way after them, Josie clutching at her small bouquet of flowers that was slipping from her hands, making Joanna laugh and it take it from her. She looked happy and sad the whole way through and Bridget saw her dab at her eyes with a tissue when she thought no one was looking. Bridget knew that it was because she had never dreamt of seeing the son she had given away get married, but there was no more time for such musings as they all reached the venue and Bridget had to hold India's hot hand and help her out of the car. She had looked angelic that morning, in her dress (India had not minded too much as it was purple) with a wreath of flowers around her head, but throughout the service it had gradually got more lopsided and in the heat of the car the flowers began falling off.
"Indy, take it off," said Bridget but her daughter shook her head, despite the flowers falling into her eyes and she tugged at Bridget's hand to go inside.
"I can't believe how possessive she is over it," whispered Bridget to Declan, as she let India run ahead.
"She looked so pretty in it."
"I know, but it's falling down!"
"You don't look so bad yourself," commented Declan. Bridget was wearing the light, black dress Rachel and Donna had bought her so many months ago adorned with some simple, silver jewellery.
"Thanks," grinned Bridget. "Neither do you," and, as Louise gave an impatient squawk she laughed and said, "And so do you Miss Louise. I knew that dress would be perfect one day!"
Louise was wearing the rabbit dress and she grinned at her mother and kicked out her legs, settling back down, and they followed India in.
The hall did not look like much from outside but it looked beautiful in the room. It had been made beautiful. Strings of fairy lights adorned the room, with vases of flowers on the table, and a banner read across the front of it, Congratulations to Riley and Marie!
They all sat down to eat the simple lunch of a choice of sandwiches and various snacks and then Riley and Marie cut the cake, laughing, and Miranda snapped a photo. She couldn't stop smiling. Riley's best man and Marie's mother made a speech and then it was Bridget's turn. She took a deep breath, stood up and tapped on her glass with her fork, making everyone look.
"Hello everyone," she said, her throat feeling rather dry. She had rehearsed the speech about a million times but now it was the day she felt very nervous, despite the guests' friendly smiles. She took a deep breath and carried on.
"As you know I'm Riley's sister – Riley's pest of a little sister!"
Everyone laughed and Bridget instantly felt better.
"My brother and I have had a fair few sibling quarrels over the years," said Bridget, looking at Riley fondly and he grinned back. "Because, you know, he really was a pain. He left wet towels on the floor, he played pranks and I always had to watch his kind of TV show, and when he liked a girl he only ever wanted to talk to her. And believe me, it was a pain!"
There was another big laugh and Riley cut in with, "Come on, you're supposed to make me look good Didge!"
She grinned at him and continued, "And it, excuse the common phrase, sucked."
Josie giggled and Bridget felt increasingly more confident.
"And when he met Marie he fell hard. And I mean he was more soppy than when he was fourteen and liked a girl for the first time!"
Another laugh.
"He was one the phone day and night," said Bridget fondly, "and missing Marie constantly when he was visiting. And I said to him that I would mention all of the phonecalls in my speech!"
"I'm regretting letting you have one," Riley told her but he wasn't really annoyed.
"But I'm old enough not to mind," continued Bridget. "I don't mind because Marie is perfect for him. He may have got soppy over all sorts of girls all over the years but he never liked them like he loves Marie, and he is all the better for it. And Marie," she said, nodding, and gesturing with her glass towards her, "you're the luckiest woman alive, because even though my brother may have driven me mad when he was younger he was still the best brother back then too. He's kind and thoughtful. If I couldn't find any Easter eggs he'd give me mine, he scared away anyone who was ever cruel to me and he put my own happiness far before his own. In short, he always protected me. He has always loved me, even though I wasn't the best little sister either!"
Everyone chuckled fondly.
"I could be stroppy or sulky and I hid his toys, started fistfights – and sometimes won! -, took the laces from his trainers so he couldn't play footy and, yes, I embarrassed him when he brought home his first girlfriend and I wasn't very sorry either."
Bridget gave an embarrassed smile.
"But he was good about it – eventually at least! So I wish you both a lifetime of happiness together, and I don't even need to hope it, because I know you will be."
She raised her glass.
"To my brother and new sister-in-law – to Riley and Marie!"
Everyone raised their glasses and chorused, "To Riley and Marie!"
Bridget sat down, flushed, hardly believing it was over and Riley leant over and suddenly gave her a hug and kiss.
"That was the best speech ever," he said gruffly, and sounded a little emotional.
"I told you I'd do a good one," said Bridget defensively, to cover up her wobbly voice. "I told you to trust me."
"I know. And hey, Didge?"
"Yeah?"
"You're the best sister too!"
They hugged each other again and when Bridget looked up she saw her parents with their arms around each other, looking proudly at them. "I think we did a good job," whispered Miranda to Steve. "In the end."
Steve didn't answer but he gave her a kiss.
The party was in full swing and everyone was dancing. India was running around, making friends with everyone and Bridget went to go and find Joanna and her sisters. Even Josie didn't mind her brother getting married now. After visiting Marie and seeing her rabbit they had made firm friends and Josie had decided she was acceptable for her brother and was not taking him away after all. They had finally had the trip out to Sydney they had longed for, going over the bridge and into the harbour and had, as promised, seen where Bridget and Riley used to live. It had made Bridget feel strange to look at the house, and see her old school, and she wondered where all her mates that Miranda had hated were doing now, but it felt good to see the house all the same, though they could not go inside.
"Mum," Clara was begging. "Please can I have a glass of champagne?"
"Well..." said Joanna, smiling. "I don't know."
"I'm thirteen now!"
Clara had had her birthday last month and now she really was a terrible teenager, but these days she wasn't really too terrible. She had made friends with a new girl in her class and seemed a lot more happy and relaxed and, Bridget thought, it had probably been due significantly to seeing her father more and making up with both her parents.
"That's not very old," said Joanna and, as Clara pleaded, she gave in.
"Okay," she said, as Clara shrieked. "As it's your brother's wedding."
Clara ran to fill a glass and she took a big sip. They watched her and Clara looked a little unsure but she swallowed it.
"And?" asked Joanna, laughing.
"I'm not used to it," said Clara in a dignified way but Josie grabbed it, sipped it, and scrunched her face up.
"URGH! That's the grossest thing I've ever tasted, how can you like it Clara? And –"
She was cut off as a young man who was helping with the catering came over to put down a new tray of cakes. He smiled at Josie and Josie went scarlet and smiled to the ends of her ears. Clara grinned and nudged Bridget.
"You don't like the champagne then?" he asked her and it took a moment for Josie to compose herself.
"It's not to my taste!" she was finally able to say and Clara started giggling into her hand.
"Clara," warned Joanna but the man didn't mind.
"I don't like it much either," he whispered to Josie, "but I'm a grown-up and I'm not meant to say that! I'm going to get some lemonade," and he smiled at her and went away.
Josie was still bright red.
"Josie has a crush!" said Clara gleefully.
"I don't!"
"And you said liking someone was yuck," she continued. "And now you're the one who's all in love!"
"I'm not, Mum, make her stop!" exclaimed Josie and Joanna gave Clara a look and she sighed and stopped teasing.
"Come on, let's find some lemonade," she said, and she and Josie hurried off leaving Bridget and Joanna looking at each other.
"It was a beautiful service," Bridget said tentatively and Joanna smiled.
"It was."
"I'm so glad you came."
"I never imagined this happening," confessed Joanna. "Seeing my...I suppose he's not my...you know what I mean. I never dreamt of this happening."
Without really meaning to Bridget pulled her into a quick hug and whispered, "You're a mother to us too, in a way. Not like Miranda – but you still are."
Joanna opened her mouth but couldn't speak so she stood back and looked at Bridget, her beautiful daughter, the daughter she had given away but had still come back to her. They were still her children and she and Miranda could both be her mother, even if it was strange.
"Thank you," she whispered, and there were tears in her eyes, but then the music started and suddenly a friend of Riley's was asking her to dance, and she smiled and accepted. Bridget couldn't see Declan so she stood and admired everyone until Steve was suddenly at her side.
"Care to dance?"
"Of course," said Bridget, and she took her father's hand and followed him onto the dance floor. The tune was fast and Steve twirled his daughter under his arm and did silly moves until Bridget had to hold her sides from laughing.
"Your old man's not too embarrassing, is he?" asked Steve and Bridget managed to gasp, "The worst!"
"Ah, that's my job!"
The next song was slower and they danced again and Bridget watched everyone. She laughed to see Declan dancing with India, throwing her into the air and catching her as she shouted with laughter, her garland finally discarded and on a chair. Clara and Josie were dancing with each other, and from looking at them, you never would have guessed that they argued. Suddenly the man from the catering came up and did a quick, silly dance with Josie, who looked over the moon and Clara watched them and laughed, until her mother was there and dancing with her.
"I'm so proud of you Didge," said Steve and Bridget looked surprised and hugged him.
"I couldn't have done it without you or Mum. Thanks Dad - you're amazing."
Miranda smiled to see the fathers and daughters dancing with each other and held Louise until her son was suddenly next to her, smiling and saying, "May I have this dance?" and, grinning, she quickly gave Louise to Riley's best friend to hold and joined her son out on the dance floor. Then Riley danced with Bridget.
"Not a bad speech then?" she asked him, watching Marie dance with her mother.
"No. Not too bad."
Riley looked down at his sister's wrist and exclaimed, "That friendship bracelet!"
Bridget had, alongside her silver jewellery, included a threaded, brown friendship bracelet that her brother had given her when he was thirteen.
"Of course. It's special to me."
"I'm not wearing mine," he confessed, embarrassed and Bridget giggled.
"Well, it would look weird with your suit. It doesn't matter. You don't need to."
"You are the greatest sister ever," Riley said again and Bridget smiled.
"We're a strange family, aren't we?" Riley mused, looking over to Steve, Miranda, Joanna, Josie and Clara. Bridget smiled.
"We're strange, but we're still great. I wouldn't change us for anything. Who cares if we're not 'normal'?"
"I don't," grinned Riley. "Who wants to be?"
"Not me!"
They laughed, danced some more and then the song ended and Bridget pulled away.
"I simply can't dance anymore, my heels are killing me!"
"That's okay, I'll dance with Marie."
He went to find her and Bridget saw Steve looking for Miranda.
"I'm going to dance with your mum," said Steve to her, as they saw Riley take his wife's hand and Miranda smiling at them. Bridget watched her father begin to dance with her mother and then she left the dance floor. Declan took India's hand and got Louise from Riley's friend and they followed her out, Bridget stopping for a moment to smile at all her family, and allowing India to grab her garland of flowers. They walked out onto the beach and Bridget eased off her heels, wiggling her toes in the sand.
India took her wreath of flowers and threw them into the sea and looked up at her parents.
"Can I paddle?"
"Not in that dress," said Bridget. "You'll ruin it. Here, give it to me," so India took it off happily and ran around in her petticoat, splashing into the water.
"Do you mind if I go for a quick walk?" Bridget asked Declan, after they had laughed at India. "Just by myself? I'll only be five minutes."
"Go ahead," said Declan so she turned and walked away from them.
She walked and walked, thinking about everything and nothing all at once. It had all been so beautiful, that day, and Bridget felt a sadness that it was coming to an end. But she had never imagined it – never imagined both her families coming together in such a way. It had been the most incredible and unbelievable year: last October she was barely thinking of her biological mothers or Josie and Clara and she hadn't even been pregnant with Louise, or even considered the possibility. Bridget felt a tugging sadness for Joanna, Josie and Clara, wishing she had been less stubborn, wishing she had known them for longer, her beautiful sisters, but now they had all the time in the world. And how strange – she laughed to herself – she had been fighting with Riley too. How unthinkable now. And university was still a distant dream. Now here it was and she still couldn't quite believe it. She looked up at the sky, without a cloud in sight, and then down at a rockpool, where she caught sight of a woman, her, in a beautiful dress, a dress she had never dreamt of wearing once, any dress. But Rachel was right, she thought. She hadn't compromised herself, she was still her, that girl, she was all those Bridgets. She looked at the sea, crashing against the shore, and she went and stood in it for a moment, remembering the long ago day where she had swum to Riley for the first time. Then she began the walk back until her family came back into sight. Josie and Clara were racing down to the shore, shouting, and Declan held Louise in his arms and India's hands so they were in a circle. Bridget smiled lovingly at them and then looked beyond them where the future lay out before her, uncertain, wavering and bright.
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Post by jess on Nov 25, 2010 3:56:09 GMT
Wow Sophie im so impressed the ending was just beautiful i love your descriptions and just the way you write, you have written a truely beautiful emotional funny story it was incredible and although im sad that its finished it was a great story well Done
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Post by Bee on Nov 25, 2010 22:15:54 GMT
An Absolutely AMAZING ending to an amazing story, well done with this whole story Sophie, and Thankyou for writing it to share with the rest of us decgetettes on this site so that we could still keep the dream alive!
I am going to miss being able to say "cant wait for more" though lol (:
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Post by sophie on Nov 29, 2010 16:55:28 GMT
Thanks guys, it means a lot! I'm just glad you all enjoyed it and thanks to anyone who read and commented I might write another fanfic soon...trying to keep the willpower not to start it until I've done all my essays!
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