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Post by sophie on Jan 7, 2010 22:59:41 GMT
It was Christmas Eve and India had finally finished wrapping all of her presents and soon it would be time for bed. She loved Christmas Eve - she was twelve but the magic of it never went away, even though the mad excitement she had felt as a child had gone as she had grown older. Dad didn't seem to recognise this, however, and said to her, "You know Santa can't come if you're awake!" "I'm twelve Dad!" India rolled her eyes. "And he doesn't like it when kids roll their eyes either!" "I'll keep it in mind," India said sarcastically. "He's not wild about sarcasm either!" "Well it doesn't matter much because he's not -" "Oi!" Declan came over and sat by her on the bed. "Not another word Little Miss or Santa might not come at all!" She laughed. "Okay, Dad. I won't be rude about Santa anymore." "Good." They sat quietly for a little while. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about India?" Declan suddenly asked with concern. "It's like you've been in a world of your own lately." She felt guilty and wondered if she should tell him. But finding Mum's diary had been so special and private - she didn't want to talk about it yet. She'd tell him after she had finished it, she thought. She just couldn't tell him, not yet. "No Dad. Just silly girl stuff." He looked as though he wasn't sure whether to believe her or not, but he seemed to because he then said, "Well, I guess it's natural if you're feeling a bit confused. You're becoming a woman now." He looked embarrassed. "Nan told you?!" India cried in horror. "You don't need to be embarrassed about things like that!" "I do with you! Look, you're going red!" "I'll work on it. I'm glad she told me." "I'm not." India fell back into bed, wishing the ground would swallow her up. "You don't have to talk to me about it but don't worry if you want to." "I won't!" It was very awkward for a moment or two until Declan said, "Indy, it's an hour till Christmas!" She took her head out from under the covers. "Really?!" "Yep. And if you go to sleep now Santa will come quicker." India groaned. "Fine, I'll go to sleep! Goodnight, Dad." He kissed her goodnight. "Merry Christmas for tomorrow, Indy." "Merry Christmas." To her surprise, she fell asleep very quickly and Santa indeed arrived, bringing India sweets, badges and other fun little presents. She got out of bed and hurried down to the kitchen where everyone was getting ready for breakfast. "Merry Christmas darling!" "Merry Christmas Nan! Merry Christmas Grandpa Steve!" An hour or so later they all gathered in the sitting room to open the main presents. "You can go first, Indy," Miranda said and eagerly she reached for one. Her dad had got her Jane Eyre - "One of those hard ones you were going on about!", he said and India squealed and threw her arms round him - some chocolate, a camera and a few hair things from Nan in another attempt to make her more girly. "This is from me and Marie," Riley said, handing over a present in shiny, silver paper that turned different colours in the light. She couldn't work out what it could be and puzzled, unwrapped it. She couldn't say anything for a moment when she saw what it was: a framed photo of Bridget from when she was twelve, standing in a river. "I know you've got lots of photos of Didge from when she's grown up," Riley said shyly. "But I thought you might like one of her when she was your age." "Thank you," she whispered and hugged him tightly. Everyone was quiet and thoughtful for a few minutes and then Miranda said, "Well Declan, I think it's your turn now!" "Oh, Miranda you can go next! Ladies first!" "No, no," she contradicted, "Guests first! Go on!" She was sounding pretty firm on that so Declan meekly took a present. He had got chocolate, sunglasses and a DVD that he had wanted. "You're all amazing," he said and everyone laughed. They finished the present opening and then went in for the Christmas lunch and Miranda's infamous truffle that always tasted fantastic. Steve was still able to eat more than anyone and because it was Christmas Miranda didn't nag him about it ("the only time of year she doesn't!" he had once whispered to Declan.) Then everyone went out for a game of backyard cricket, Steve and Miranda against Declan and India with Riley and Marie as referees, and it was close but the father-daughter team won in the end. "Yes!" shouted Declan and twirled his daughter round and then high-fived her. "How could I lose with such a teammate?" "I think we should get extra points for Miranda actually running around in the dust and heat," Steve protested but his son-in-law and granddaughter jeered, "Sore losers!" and Riley and Marie had to agree. Christmas was over for another year and there was that sad feeling everyone gets as the house is tidied and the presents are put away. It had been a good one though, India thought. She walked into the sitting room and saw her dad looking out of the window and quietly she went over and sat by him. "You don't enjoy Christmas much, do you?" India said, but it was more of a statement than a question. He looked at her and she could tell he was trying not to cry. "I never wanted you to know that." "I always have. It doesn't make me feel unhappy, well-" she paused for a moment. "I'm not saying it properly. It doesn't ruin my Christmas. I'm a bit sad too that you are but I'm still happy." "I'm still happy, Indy. I loved opening the presents and playing cricket and just being with all of you..." "But you're still a bit sad on Christmas and birthdays and I know why. Don't feel bad for it, Dad. Please don't." He sighed. "What would I do without you?" Christmas had ended and they all went to bed.
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Post by Bee on Jan 8, 2010 1:35:27 GMT
that was great sophie!! i cant wait for more!
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Post by rebeccag on Jan 8, 2010 14:16:01 GMT
great chapter Sophie love the presents ^_^
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Post by suse on Jan 9, 2010 5:11:11 GMT
That was so nice to read. Loved it. I am so in love with this story.
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Post by sophie on Jan 9, 2010 9:53:49 GMT
Thanks so much everyone I'll try and get another update up later - do you think I'm making it sound enough like Didge in the diary entries?
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Post by sophie on Jan 9, 2010 15:32:07 GMT
The next day India took out the diary again. She had tried to get a chance to read it yesterday but there was no peace; the whole day had been filled with presents, food and games, but she wasn't too sorry about it, she loved Christmas after all.
Sunday 18th April 2004
Last night Mum made us all have a meeting before we went to bed and said that we had to go on a walk this morning and before we could say anything she snapped, "No buts! We come out here to spend time as a family, not to do our own thing which what we do at home! Neither of you," she said to me and Ri, "are getting up at the crack of dawn and running off. Riley, if I get up and see that you and your surf board are gone I will personally go to the beach and pick you up myself and Bridget, I will find wherever it is you go and do the same. Tomorrow is going to be a Family Day!" Whenever Mum gets like that it's better to keep your head down if you want to keep it. So we didn't argue and just went to bed. We had to get up at seven and even Dad wasn't happy about that. "Seven, Miranda!" he groaned and looked half awake. "Shut up Steve!" Me and Riley grinned at each other. We don't mind being up early but we stopped smiling when Mum glared at us. We went the way we always go on walks here and took turns wearing the rucksack. When we went past the big tree Dad said, "Do you remember when you climbed that tree Didge?" He tells that story every time we come out here and one day he'll bore my children with it and probably my grandchildren too, if he's still around. Dad doesn't know that I climb that tree whenever I have a chance - that's where I like writing my diary. We stopped to eat lunch by the river and Mum and Dad started talking about something to do with Mum's job and Riley was looking for something in his bag so I went and paddled. It's autumn now but the water wasn't too cold. I was just standing in the river, not even thinking about anything, really, when there was a flash of bright light. Riley'd taken a photo of me. "What did you do that for?!" I cried and ran out of the river. "Delete it!" "I can't delete it, Didge. It's a film camera." I sighed at him. "You looked nice," he said and I was surprised. Riley doesn't often compliment me on my looks. I wonder what I did look like.
Peace, Didge xxx
Monday 19th April 2004
Mum's glad we went out yesterday because it's raining today and all day she's been saying that we should trust her on these things. I'm glad it's raining - I'm feeling bad because I have my period. I watched TV all day. That's the only time Mum doesn't tell me off for watching it, the rest of the time she yells that I'm rotting my brain with it. You'd think I'm watching it all day from the way she goes on about it. I watch hardly anything really. I started my periods last December and it's dumb but I started crying and I couldn't stop because who wants something like that? I don't, it's horrible. And Mum was happy for me and I told her to make it go away, which I know is even more dumb but I was really upset and she said she wouldn't if she could and then she made me a milkshake. I nearly killed her because she told Dad and Riley and now Riley makes jokes about womanhood and Dad just gets embarrassed around me. I wish Riley would, then maybe he'd tease me less! I thought I'd never get used to it but I have.
Love, Didge xxx
Tuesday 20th April 2004
For once Riley didn't run off to the beach even though Mum wasn't going to make us go on a walk. He's been in a weird mood all day, he gets like that sometimes. He was sitting on the porch so I sat next to him and said, "Is it a girl, Riley?" and I poked him. "Leave it, Didge." "Is it?!" "No!" I wish it was some girl, he'd probably get over it quicker plus I could tease him about it. "And even if it was," he said nastily, "why would I talk to you about it? You're just a kid." I gave him a push for that. "You're so horrible to me Riley! You used to tell me everything, we're mates!" "Yes, but I'm a lot older than you and there's just stuff you don't understand." "As if YOU'RE grown up!" I shouted at him. I can understand anything he can. "I'm ten times more mature than you are!" "Shut up Didge." I was fed up with him by that stage, let him sit there on a porch with whatever it is he's moping about. I went off to the tree and that's where I am now. You can see across the fields for ages and the house just looks like a blob. I can't even see my brother from here.
Wednesday 21st April 2004
I can't believe it - someone else has found my secret place by the river! And it's a boy! Whoever he was he was sitting by the water and just swishing it with a big stick. "Oi!" I shouted. "You're by my river!" He jumped up. "It's not your river!" he yelled back. "You're just from that family who come a few times a year. You're not even from Queensland, I bet!" "How do you know about my family and what's it to you?" "I live near here and I've seen you go walking. My spot by the river is further up but my brother's found it and he's mucking about with his mates there today so pardon me princess if I wanted to sit here!" "Don't you DARE call me princess! What's your name anyway?" "None of your business. I know your name. It's Bridget, I heard your mum call you it." "Well, I have to call you something. I'll call you Amy. Do you like it here, Amy?" "Shut up calling me that." "What's your name then?" He looked embarrassed. "John." I have mates back in Sydney who are boys - they're all boys, actually - but none of them are called things like that. Well, maybe their real names are but they call themselves stuff like Dogger and Fish. Mum hates it. She wishes that I'd ditch them, ditch the team, find some mates who are girls and fall in love with shopping. It will never happen. "It's not that bad a name." I'm not rude, no matter what Mum says. "Not out walking with your family today then?" "No." "I never go out with mine." "You're lucky." "You didn't seem unhappy." "They're okay sometimes. My brother's fun when he wants to be." "Mine never is!" Then someone was shouting in the distance and John swore under his breath. "I've got to go, they're calling me. Bye, Bridget." He stuck out his hand which was covered in dirt and I shook it. "Didge," I said. "Call me Didge." He gave me a funny sort of smile and then ran off. I've sat here for the rest of the afternoon but he hasn't come back and now I should go back too or Mum and Dad will come looking for me.
Love, Didge xxx
India was shocked. Who was this boy? Had Mum liked someone before Dad? And why hadn't she told anyone? The next morning India sat down to breakfast with Miranda and Declan, Steve had gone on a house call for an animal and would be gone for a few hours. "Nan," asked India, "did Mum have a boyfriend when she was younger? Before she met Dad, I mean?" Miranda looked at her, puzzled. "Only that boy she met at the physical therapy centre...Josh." "Let's not talk about him," Declan said moodily. "Don't tell me you're still annoyed about that, Declan!" exclaimed Miranda. "Before Josh?" "No, darling. She wasn't into boys until we left Sydney, something your grandfather was very happy about. She was a bit young for her age. Why, anyway?" "No reason...I was just interested." She helped her nan and dad clear away the breakfast things. Later that afternoon Declan said that he was going to buy a case for his sunglasses if anyone wanted to come, but Steve was still out and Miranda and India said they were fine at the farm so he went alone. "Nan," India asked again. "Did Mum have any friends who were boys?" "Heaps!" Miranda groaned. "You know she played on that school team in Sydney, all her mates were boys and they all had horrific names like Dogger and Fish. Those are the two which stick out in my mind but there were lots more like that. She could never get along with many girls, she said they were all into boring things like boys and shopping. She only made good friends with girls when we moved to Erinsborough. You know your auntie Rachel helped her get ready for her first date with your father," she laughed, remembering. "She even let Rachel put lip gloss on her, I was never able to do that!" "Did any of them have normal names? Like James and John?" "Not that I remember." Miranda looked at her granddaughter oddly. "Sweetheart, why are you asking me all these questions about your mum's relationships with boys? Are you wondering what she was like with them when she was your age?" India nodded. Well, she was. And wondering about one in particular. "She wasn't interested in them romantically, she only wanted them for mates. She was such a tomboy. Indy, did you want to talk to me about a boy? I remember you didn't look very happy when I mentioned them the other night." India hesitated and then told her. "I liked someone called Jamie. He took me out for a sundae and Dad went mad but it didn't matter anyway because he liked some other girl in the end. I threw my calculator at him." "You didn't!" "I did." "India!" "It was dumb." "Well I don't blame you for it," Miranda said with a wry smile, "but you must never do that kind of thing in future." "I know. I sort of pushed him over as welll....after he apologised to me..." Miranda actually chuckled at that. "I'm not pleased he broke your heart but at least he apologised, most boys don't. A boy named Mike did that to me and I wasn't like you or your mum, I didn't do things like that, so I cried for three weeks and he never apologised or looked at me again. I wonder where he is now," she mused. "Am I like Mum, Nan?" She looked at her with an odd expression. "So much, darling. You're more quiet in some ways, more in your own world...but sometimes it's like seeing Bridget as a little girl all over again." "It doesn't upset you, does it?" India asked awkwardly. "No, darling," said Miranda. "It used to," she said honestly. "But even then I would never choose not to see you, I love you and your father so much. And I love talking about Bridget with you, even though the pain never goes away, I love remembering her and talking about her more than anything. She'd never forgive us if we stopped. I do believe that I will see her again." India didn't know what to say so she hugged her grandmother as tightly as she could. "I love you, Nan," she whispered.
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Post by kate on Jan 9, 2010 16:54:37 GMT
Sophie... whoa. No words. That was so incredibly beautiful.
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Post by sophie on Jan 9, 2010 18:32:28 GMT
Thanks so much Kate
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Post by rebeccag on Jan 9, 2010 22:13:06 GMT
aww that was really nice Sophie
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Post by Ali on Jan 10, 2010 0:05:06 GMT
such a beautiful story Sophie. The last bit with her nan made me cry
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Post by Bee on Jan 10, 2010 3:39:48 GMT
that was great sophie!!
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Post by sophie on Jan 10, 2010 10:40:53 GMT
I'm so glad it moved everyone thanks everyone for the great comments *hugs*
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Post by suse on Jan 10, 2010 11:35:14 GMT
I have finally caught up. What I love about this is that even though Didge is gone she is still very much a main character. Hmmmm...now who is this John? And will Dec find out about him? Will he angst about it? The plot thickens!! Loving it .
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Post by sophie on Jan 10, 2010 13:12:45 GMT
Thanks Suse ;D Hmm....what to write next...*ponder*
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Post by sophie on Jan 10, 2010 21:36:31 GMT
India got out the diary again that night, eager to find out more about this John and what had happened.
Thursday 22nd April 2004
John was there today, I went to the river as soon as I could, and there he was with his stick again. "Your brother mucking about again?" I asked. "Something like that." He grinned at me. "Do you live here?" "Across the field. We move around a lot but we've never left the state." "We've always lived in Sydney." "Why do you call yourself Didge?" "My brother gave it to me when I was born because he couldn't say my name properly. He's always called me that, he's never called me anything else except for Bridget when he's annoyed." "Don't your parents know when it all started?" I hesitated for a moment and then told him I'm adopted. I'm not ashamed of it - why should I be? - but I don't like telling people because they go all funny and sometimes they say 'sorry' which really annoys me. And I don't like thinking about when we got shunted about foster homes, which is what I always do. John wasn't too weird about it though. "Oh," he said. He swished the water around some more. "How old's your brother?" "Eighteen so he thinks he's grown up." "I've got two, they're pains." "That's not surprising, most brothers are." "You weren't arguing with yours the other day." "We were closer when we were younger," I told him. "He doesn't tell me so much now but he's okay when he's not being weird - well, as normal as Riley can get." Riley's never very normal! "Why do you come here so much?" he asked me. "Why do you?" I shot back. He shrugged. "It's not much fun back there, I'm always being yelled at or shoved by someone." Then he looked at me. "Go on. I told you." "If I stay home Mum will try and make me go shopping with her or put a dress on or something just as girly. I hate it and then I get in a bad mood and so does she and then we're not talking by dinner." "Fair enough. But you're a girl," he teased. "Shouldn't you be wearing dresses?" "Shut up. Say something like that to me again and I'll shove you in the river." "I'd just swim out again," he shrugged. "I don't care. How old are you, anyway?" "I'm twelve." He grinned and looked smug. "I'm thirteen." "Oh, wow," I said sarcastically. "I won't be thirteen till August, you must be hundreds times more mature than me." He took the point and looked down at the river. "What are you looking for?" "I thought I saw a platypus a few days ago." "Oh!" I said. I love animals. "Well don't be too noisy! You'll scare it off!" "You think I don't know that?" I snapped. "My dad's a vet." "In the city." "He grew up here." "Look close," he said eagerly and I leant forward. "I think I saw it." "Closer! Look, right in the water!" I leant even more forward, slipped and fell into the water and the mud. He nearly bust a gut laughing. "You dickhead!" "I thought you weren't a girly girl," he managed between laughs. "I thought you didn't care about getting dirty." I shoved him in the mud as well. "You won't care if I do that then, will you?" He didn't get angry but it did stop him laughing. "There never was a platypus, was there?" I said, shaking my arms off. He shook his head. "No, there was a platypus but not just then. The inspiration just came," and he started laughing again. "I'm going anyway," I snapped. "We're having an early lunch." We weren't, but I was sick of him so I ran back. I regretted it when I got in and Mum saw me, I should have stuck it out with John. "Oh, Bridget Louise Parker!" she yelled. "Look at the state of you! What on earth were you doing?" but before I could come up with anything she snapped, "I don't want to hear it. You're practically a teenager now, you can't go round mucking around in mud as if you were six! Go and have a shower! You can stay in for the rest of the day! And change into something nice, would it kill you to wear a dress occaisionally?" "Broken record, Mum!" I yelled as I went up the stairs. "Speak to me like that again and you're grounded!" she yelled back. The rest of the day wasn't any fun. I put on the only skirt I have to stop Mum blowing a fuse and I just helped her pick out some outfits from a catalogue because I had NOTHING else to do.
Annoyed, Didge xxx
Friday 23rd April 2004
I spent the day with Dad, just the two of us. Most of it, anyway. Riley had run off to the beach and Mum wanted to go shopping so she headed off to the market and Dad and I kicked a football about and talked. I like days like that, Dad and I are normally really close but we haven't been so much lately. It seems like he always takes Mum's side about things. He took some snacks with him on our picnic lunch. "Not a word to your mother," he winked and ripped open a packet of crisps. Mum's always nagging Dad about what to eat and it's a lost cause. "Are there playtpuses round here, Dad?" I asked. "I'm sure there are, Didge. I remember finding one with Ned and Stu once, I doubt they've all gone. Why?" "Just interested." "Where do you go off all day?" "That's private, Dad." "You're so private this year!" he sighed. "You used to tell me everything." I felt a bit hurt by that. "It's just one thing, Dad. It's not like I want to stop spending time with you. I love going to the clinic with you, I'll never stop wanting to do that." "Do you still want to be a vet, Didge?" "Yep." I've never wated to be a ballerina or anything the other girls at school wanted - I've always known that I've wanted to help animals just like my dad. "Why don't you humour your Mum more?" "You know I'm not like that," I said irritably, pulling up some grass. "I'm not going to turn into a girly girl who likes pink just for her." "I know, and I love you for it. But you could be less hard on her." "Why can't she love me for me?" I felt upset and turned my face away. "Oh Didge, she does. You know she does. She just wants to have something for you to share, that's all. She's so happy she has a daughter." "Not one like me." I wiped my eyes and he hugged me. "Don't be stupid, she's thrilled with who you are, you know that. She loves you more than anything." I think Dad said something to Mum because when she said goodnight she gave me an extra cuddle and said, "You know how proud I am of you. You're my special girl. I love you so much." I love my mum more than anything too, even though she can drive me crazy now and then.
Love, Didge xxx
India put the diary down and under her pillow. She wasn't a disappointment, was she? She didn't think so, though her dad had told her he was positive she was going to be a boy and even though she knew how much he loved her she had always wondered if he had wanted a son instead. And she was frightened of heights too - did it make her a wuss? Mum hadn't been scared of anything. But she knew, even if her mother hadn't sometimes, that Nan thought she was the best daughter in the world.
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