In years to come

[rebeccag]

aww poor Indu and Dec
Cant wait for the next chapter

[sophie]

Declan felt helpless. Miranda asked for the diary again and dumbly he went and fetched it for her. She and Steve went into the sitting room and a short while later he had both of them crying and Steve saying,
"I still miss her every day, Miranda. She was our little girl."
He didn't know what to do. He guessed he should leave India alone for a little while and knew talking to his parents-in-law was not an option so he went to the computer to see if there would be enough signal for him to check his e-mails and to his surprise there was and his inbox held an e-mail from Zeke.

Dear Dec and Indy,
How are you guys? How're Steve and Miranda? I hope you're having a good time out in Queensland and had a good Christmas - I bet you did. As you know I was out visiting Rach and Donna and it was so cold I could barely sleep. I've made Rachel promise to come and see me at Christmas next time so I won't be in danger of getting frostbite and I won the argument by reminding her she's Australian and so should come back to Australia for Christmas. We had a great time anyway, despite the cold. The snow was fun too, we built a snowman.
Donna's still as Donnaish as ever which won't surprise you. She took us on a night out and she's got just as much energy as when we were eighteen, if not more. She can stay out all night, get in at six, and be bright and bushy-tailed by eight without even needing coffee. Crazy. But Donna's like that. I think she's forgotten that I happen to be a father now and my parting days are long over (not that I ever really had any). I could have gone to bed at ten - scratch that, nine. That's what looking after a newborn and then a hyperactive child does to you - you'll know what I'm talking about. I can't believe Theo's going to be six next month. He's told me to tell you that you are both expressly invited to his birthday party. He wants a chemistry kit, I think he's going to be just as geeky as I am. He'll be begging to go on Science Camp next! Didge would be proud, I reckon! And finding it funny.
I saw Ringo last week. He says hey and sends his love. He loves being a paramedic and living in Sydney. I'm glad he found that - he was never much of a school type but he's so good at what he does.
Jessica sends her love too. Do you find it as weird as me that we'll be married eight years soon? Indy was four! She was such a sweet flower girl, it doesn't feel like it was that long ago.
Rach sends love too, and Donna, though she told me she spoke to you not that long ago.
Well, I'm off, I have said nearly-six-year-old pulling at my leg wanting to play,
India - keep an eye on your father
Dec - keep an eye on India!

Love both you guys,
Zeke xxx

Dec smiled at the e-mail. You could always count on Zekey-boy to cheer you up at least a little. Yes, Didge would be proud, of him as well as his son.
He still felt so awful over what he had said to his daughter. He wouldn't be winning any awards for fatherhood anytime soon, he reckoned. He should never had said that to her. Maybe she did want to be left alone, but he couldn't stand another minute of wandering around the house feeling like hell and knowing that his daughter was crying her heart out.
He knocked on her door softly and opened it. She was all hidden under the covers.
"Indy? Indy, are you awake? I just got an e-mail from Zeke. Theo's becoming as sciency as him, I'm not surprised, are you? India?"
He went and sat down on the bed and gently lifted the covers and leapt up in shock as he saw the pillow. He looked up, saw the open window and the realisation of what had happened hit him like a ton of bricks.
"INDIA!" he cried. "INDIA!"
There were thudding footsteps and then the door burst open.
"What is it?!" asked Miranda, tears still shining on her cheeks. "What's happened?"
"India's gone!" cried Declan.
"Gone?" Miranda echoed. "Gone where?"
"I...I don't know. She could be anywhere...and we said those terrible things to each other..."
"She can't have gone far," said Steve, taking control. "She only went to bed an hour ago. Dec, come with me, we'll go and look for her. Miranda, call Riley and Marie and stay here in case she comes back. Have you rung her mobile?"
"It's here," Declan said blankly. "We can't try and contact her."
"We can still find her. Come on."
Anything could have happened in an hour. Declan pushed that thought to the back of his mind and grabbed a coat, following Steve out into the night.
"Her bike's gone," Steve said.
That meant she could have got further. That was bad and Declan concentrated on looking even harder.
"India!" they shouted, flashing their torches. "India!"
There was no sign still so they got into the car. Steve drove grimly and Declan knew he was just as worried as he was.
Declan flashed his torch out of the window and both stopped now and then to look in dense land where she could have gone, but to no avail.
"Mate, we're going to have to go back."
"What?!" shouted Declan. "I'm not going anywhere until we've found her!"
"We've looked. It's been two hours. We're going to have to call the police."
The police. Declan thought he might be sick.
"We're not giving up!" he said desperately.
"It's not giving up. We'll carry on looking, we're just getting more help. We need to. Come on."
"All right," he said dumbly, helplessly. Steve turned the car back round and drove back to the farm.
Riley and Marie were there as well and were on standby by the phone.
"Anything?" asked Miranda desperately.
"No," said Steve darkly.
"It's all my fault," Declan said miserably. "I called her a brat. I've been so hard on her lately. I didn't want to her think that she had to be perfect and now she thinks she's not good enough, but she's perfect, she's amazing..."
He broke down into tears.
"Don't do this to yourself," Steve said. "Teenagers run off all the time. We'll find her and then we'll give her the grounding of a lifetime."
But she wasn't a teenager, Declan thought. She was twelve. She was only twelve.
The police arrived. They asked the standard questions, how old India was, how long she had been gone, where she could have gone but then they asked Declan what she was wearing.
"She was wearing...she was wearing...oh God I don't know. I can't remember. What kind of a father am I?"
"A good one," Steve insisted. "An amazing one."
"She was wearing a blue T-shirt," Miranda cut in suddenly. "A blue T-shirt with a dolphin on it and pale blue shorts."
"Thank you," said the police officer, writing it all down in her notepad. "Do you have a picture of her?"
"I have a picture of her in my wallet," Declan said tearfully. "But it's when she's a baby, with Didge...show them a picture of Didge, Miranda. They look the same."
The police officer looked confused.
"My daughter," explained Miranda quietly. "India's mother. They look very alike. She passed away."
How he hated that expression, Declan thought, and how he hated the police officer's sympathy given in the form of I'm sorry.
"I have that batch of photos you sent up, Declan," Miranda remembered. "From last month. There's some of India, I'll go and get them."
Minutes later she had returned and quickly retrieved one of her granddaughter. India was smiling and waving at the camera and Declan nearly burst into tears again.
"Thank you," said the police officer, tucking her notepad away and the photo of India with it.
"Promise me you'll find her," Declan demanded.
"I promise to do my very best."
"That's not enough! You have to promise me you'll find her!"
"Mr Napier!" said the police officer sharply. "I can't promise you that. I do promise to do my very best and it's very, very likely that your daughter will be found. She hasn't been gone long and this is the countryside, not the city. Chances are she's fine. I'll start looking now."
He couldn't thank her but Steve and Miranda did.
Hasn't been gone long. Two hours was long enough and anything could have happened to her, snakes or a fall and his little girl was out there in just a T-shirt and shorts. She could catch pneumonia. And then Declan thought of the sick people out there. You didn't have to be in a city for that - you only had to look through a newspaper or flick on the television to know about the awful things that happened everywhere. He broke down into tears again.
"I'm sorry," he said, wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, don't ever apologise for emotion in this house," said Steve. "You know what I think of all that Iron Man nonsense. I'd be more worried if you weren't crying - India's missing, of course you're upset."
But that wasn't enough of how to think of it, Declan thought. It was all his fault. He had let Didge down. Let her down, when he had promised to look after her and give her a happy life. Let India down when they should have bonded over the diary and instead he had shouted at her and called her a brat. It was unforgivable. He had vowed never to let Didge down again, not after what he had done when she had found out she was pregnant and had let her down so terribly. He thought of all the awful things he said to her:
PREGNANT?!
How can you be pregnant? We were careful!
Not that one time...not after the Veronicas concert...
He had had to look away then because her lower lip was trembling and he couldn't handle it if she had started to cry.
This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!
And then he had strode off and just left her there, like the tool he was. If anyone ever did that to India...
How could he have said that, when really she was the best? The best thing that had ever happened to him and now his daughter didn't know that and had run off into the night.
"Look after her for me, Didge," he whispered.

[Bee]

great sophie

i had the misfortune of reading that in the middle of my free and i had to hold back tears because theres like another 30 or so year 12s in the room haha

[suse]

Brilliant Sophie. Loved every word. I'm guessing she's at the tree ;D.

[rebeccag]

Great work Sophie and loved the mention of Zeke in it plus Ringo being a paramedic

[sophie]

Ignoring the rain that was lashing down on her, India pedalled furiously towards the tree. She felt wet and cold and thought that she ought to have got a jumper or coat before leaving the house but there was no way she was turning back. India had never felt such determination in her life and rain and wind wasn't going to stop her. She didn't even know if she was crying anymore: the streaming water down her face was either rain or tears, maybe both.
The world looked wild. Everything was black and moaning in the wind and the trees rocked and swished loudly.
But I'm not scared. I'm not scared.
Finally she was there. She grazed her leg as she got off the bike and knew it had cut, but that was the least of her worries. Ignoring the sting, she looked up at the majestic trunk. Why had she come? To feel close to Bridget. Close to the younger Bridget, but what good had this done, she wondered? It wasn't a calm, beautiful day like it had been that morning, like in all the entries where she had swam in the river or climbed the tree, lying on its branches.
Climbed the tree.
India stared up at it and put her hands on the trunk, as if to reassure herself of its solidity. It was a good, old tree, it wouldn't break.
India hated her fear of heights, mainly because it felt so irrational. No one in the family was scared of heights - no one. Mum and Dad had fallen for each other at a climbing centre, for pity's sake, if you went with Dad's corny story. So why was she, their daughter, scared of climbing a tree?
"I'm not," India said out loud, and then, to emphasise, "I'm not".
Saying it was one thing and doing it was another but India never backed out of something she had set her mind on. Determinedly she put her hands on the first big branch, John and Bridget's branch, and pushed herself up, swinging her legs over. There. She had done it. She wouldn't back out now. India tried to make the pleasure of accomplishment overcome the beginnings of fear.
She looked above her. It was just like a ladder: all the branches were evenly placed out for her to climb.
"And I'm not scared," India said again. "I'll prove it to you Mum."
Up and up she climbed, thinking about how she doing it for Mum. Higher and higher she climbed. Finally she reached the top and then India made the colossal mistake all sufferers from vertigo know they shouldn't make: looking down. She had looked down behind her casually, so proud of herself, and then she froze. She clung like a limpet to the tree. Why, oh why had she climbed it? She couldn't get down. She couldn't get down, no one knew where she was and it was a terrible rainstorm. Oh, why did she always do things before she thought?
India had never wanted her dad so much in her life. She wouldn't have cared if he had shouted at her, grounded her, been more furious than ever before in his life, she just wanted him. She wanted him to climb the tree and get her down and make her promise to never do anything like it again and then give her a hug.
India knew she was crying then. She hung desperately on and then her mind wandered to all the stories of monsters and witches she had been told as a child. Evil, evil monsters and creatures.
"Stop it!" she said to herself. "You're twelve years old!"
But she couldn't help it. And then India thought of real-life monsters, evil people.
"They couldn't get up here," she mumbled to herself.
Then she thought of snakes.
"In a storm?" she told herself but that moment of panic had been enough and she lost her grip. Desperately she grabbed at the tree again but the moment had weakened her hold, the trunk was slippery, and India fell.
"Don't let me die, Mum," she whispered, as the descent began. She fell and fell, knew she screamed and then everything went black.

[suse]

AAArrrrgghhhh .

Hurry up and update...please!!

[rebeccag]

Awwwww no dont let Indy die *crosses fingers*

[Bee]

arrgh omg Sophie!!
Dont let Indy die!!
Update soon!!

[sophie]

Sorry that there was no update this weekend, I was a bit busy!

After the police officer had left the room no one spoke for a few moments. Declan still didn't know what to do or where she had gone and the worst part of it all was feeling so helpless. He hadn't felt so frightened for her since her birth at the Winter Cool Festival and he hadn't felt terror like this since...don't think about that! Declan was by no means a superstitious man but he wasn't taking any chances. He wasn't risking any luck. He knew it made no sense, but he was not going to think about the death of a loved one whilst another one was missing.
If she didn't come back...the awful thoughts and suggestions whirled round in his head. She had to come back, she had to be found.
At Declan's lowest, darkest points after the accident she was what had got him out of bed in the morning. On the days where nothing else could, not even his mother. He had wanted to stay in the dark hole of his depression and just lie there with his pain and memories and thoughts of Bridget. But she had needed him. India had needed him. She had needed him to feed her, dress her, make sure she was okay, and yes, you could say that Rebecca, Steve or Miranda could have done all of it but Declan knew she had needed him and most of all he had needed her.
She had to be found. And something was wrong, he knew it.
Didge, Didge, look after her.
"Where could she have gone?" Miranda asked desperately.
Declan put his head in his hands and ordered himself to think. To push away panic and to just think.
Why had she gone? He had just known she shouldn't have gone out today because of his dream, because of Didge's warning. The dream had meant something...and he'd had that other one. What had happened in it? Declan racked his brains. She had told him to think of something about her...when she was twelve.
What had happened when she was twelve? She had gone out and met that John...met him nearly every day that holiday...met him where?
The answer thudded into his brain and Declan jumped to his feet.
"The tree. She's gone to the tree. Didge's tree."
"Didge's tree?" asked Steve, confused.
"The one she loved to climb," Declan explained. "The one she went to when she was twelve. The one she could climb better than a possum."
"What would she be doing at the tree?" wailed Miranda.
A horrible answer fell into his mind again. He didn't know where it had come from but he knew it was the right one.
"Climbing it," he said grimly. "She'll have climbed it!"
"Climbed it?" asked Steve. "She hates heights."
"So what?" said Marie suddenly and everyone looked at her. "I hate water and my dad was a professional swimmer. When he died I went and stood in the sea."
Everyone looked desperately around each other for a moment and then Declan and Steve dashed out of the door, Didge's other message echoing in his brain, it's not her time, it's not her time.
India lay on the ground feeling very far away from everything. She was barely feeling but she knew, dimly, that if she opened our eyes and came back into the world everything it would hurt more than ever before in her life and she knew that if she moved from this limbo to another place she would meet someone she had longed to her whole life....
"India," said a voice in her mind. "India, open your eyes."
She knew the voice and yet she didn't.
I don't want to she thought.
"I know you don't want to," came the voice again, soothingly. "I know it's hard, darling. But you have to open your eyes and call out."
It was hard, but she wrenched her eyes open and called out,
"Help!" in a wispy voice.
They were near the tree.
"Where is it exactly?" asked Declan in desperation.
"It's so hard in the dark!"
"Help!" called India again, slightly louder this time.
Declan froze.
"What was that?"
"I didn't hear anything."
"Call again, sweetheart."
"HELP!" cried India, and she had no idea where she had found the strength to scream.
"It's her!" shouted Declan and he raced towards the cry. He found his daughter lying beneath the tree with her leg at a funny angle.
"India!" Relief crashed over him like a tidal wave. "Oh God, India, your leg."
"Daddy," said India in a groggy voice and she reached out her arms.
"Don't ever do that to me again," Declan said to her. "Oh, Indy."
"Do you hate me?" she asked.
"Hate you?" he hugged her tightly. "I love you more than anything in this world."
The rain stopped.

[Bee]

omg Sophie!! that was brilliant!! well worth the wait!!

[rebeccag]

awww that was lovely Sophie great work

[suse]

Brilliant Sophie...now I'm all teary .

Bravo!!!!!!!!

[kate]

Oh.

These last two chapters were really nicely put together... poor India. Poor Declan.

Really well done Sophie.

[sophie]

Is it sadistic that I'm really happy to have made you all sad? Thanks for the comments!

Several whirling hours later and India was back home. She had been taken to hospital and diagnosed, unsurprisingly, with a broken leg, but there was nothing else seriously wrong.
"I'm amazed this is the extent of her injuries," the doctor had remarked. "With a fall like that - thank your lucky stars young lady!"
But she had known who really to thank.
Although the doctor couldn't find any signs of concussion he had insisted that she be kept in overnight just in case, but as nothing happened to suggest further harm, he let her go home the next morning and Declan had made her go to bed again.
"But I'm fine Dad - the doctor said so!"
"A man's daughter falls from a great height, he's allowed to be a little bit worried! And the doctor said you need lots of TLC," Declan argued. "And you've hurt your leg and you should rest it. So it's back to bed!"
India hadn't minded too much really and she sat up holding a big glass of chocolate milkshake her grandmother had made for her with her father sitting by her.
"How could you run off like that?" he asked. "I was going out of my mind."
"I wasn't running away," she insisted. "I was just going to go to the tree and then come back."
"In a storm like that? If you were upset you should have come to me."
"I felt like I had to get out of the house, I felt like I had to go," she tried to explain. She looked down. "And we'd had that horrible argument..."
"I'm sorry I called you a brat."
"But I have been bratty lately. If I was my mum I'd tell me I was a brat."
Declan had to laugh at that.
"Well, we're all bratty sometimes, but you weren't being bratty when we were arguing. I was just feeling upset."
"I'm sorry, Dad."
"It's okay. I'm sorry I shouted at you."
"It's okay."
"But India, you know the reason I worry and shout at you sometimes is because I'm your father and I love you. I don't want you to put yourself in any danger, and with other things, well I'm your dad. Sometimes I overreact."
She fiddled with the blanket.
"I know.
"But why did you want to go to the tree?"
"I don't know. I just feel closer to Mum there...it's dumb but it feels like part of her's there, the younger her."
"It isn't dumb," he said softly.
"Dad," India said slowly. "I heard Mum."
Declan froze.
"You heard her?"
"She told me to call out. To open my eyes and call out. I knew it was her. I didn't imagine it, I know I didn't."
"Of course you didn't!"
Oh Didge...
"I could always rely on her," he said. "Always."
"If I heard Mum, why can't she come back?"
A question he'd always feared she ask again some day. When she was six and there was a mummy-daughter day in school Rebecca had taken her and afterwards she had said,
"But Grandma's not my Mummy. She's Grandma. Where's Mummy?"
"She's an angel. She's always with you."
"So why can't I see her? Why can't she come with me to Mummy-Daughter Day?"
She'd stated to cry then and he hadn't been able to console her.
"India...people can't come back from the dead. You know that."
"Why can't they?" she demanded.
"I don't know. I wish they could. I'd bring your mum back in a flash."
"Why....why can't you?" She knew she was asking impossible things but she asked them anyway.
"I can't. We live and we die India. But she's not really gone."
"I still don't think it's fair," she sniffled. "It's not good enough."
"I know it's not good enough baby."
They sat in silence for a moment and India wiped her eyes.
She leant forwards suddenly and put her glass down.
"What do you think happened to John?"
"I don't know, India. Anything could have happened to him. I'm sure he's fine, wherever he is."
"Do you think we could find him?"
"How could we? He could be anywhere in the country - he might not even be in the country. And you didn't know his last name, did you?"
"No."
"It's a shame India, but there's nothing we can do. We should just be happy he was a friend for Mum."
"Do you wish I was more like her?"
He stared at his daughter.
"You are like her. You're so much like her."
"Not really. Mum was clever and she wasn't scared of anything and I'm scared of heights and going out with boys and I can't do Maths and I'm too bratty-"
"Hey!" he stopped her. "What's all this? Mum was scared of things too, India. And you know she had her bad days. You've read that diary, she could be horrible to Nan, Grandpa Steve and Riley but she always felt sorry for it. You feel bad for being rude too, don't you?"
"Yes," she admitted.
"Well then. Didge was Didge - she wasn't perfect either. She could be very sulky when she wanted but I still loved her so much. I wouldn't change her. I wouldn't change you."
"Wouldn't you?"
"Of course not! And the reason she got good grades was because she worked so hard, she was going to be a doctor."
"I can't be a doctor."
"But...I never said I wanted you to be a doctor," he said in bewilderment. "I want you to be whatever it is you want to be. I couldn't be a doctor either."
"But you said you wanted me to be like Mum. You thought I was a boy but if I was a girl I should be like Mum."
"Like her, India, not be her. I never wanted you to be her twin! She's Bridget and you're India - you're your own person, I'm thrilled with who you are."
"She wouldn't be."
"Mum would be so proud of you," he said, not believing his ears. "So proud. She is proud of you, wherever she is."
"But I'm so wussy-"
"You're not wussy," he said quietly. "Not wussy at all. You climbed a tree and you're petrified of heights, that's such a brave thing to do. You're brave about lots of things. Did you know I'm scared of blood?"
"Blood?" she repeated and stared at her dad. "Really?"
"It makes me feel sick and faint. You're not scared of that, are you?"
"No, but I was scared I'd hurt myself when I fell out of the tree."
"Well, that's normal."
"I fell out of the tree. Mum wouldn't have fallen out."
"No, probably not. But that doesn't make you weaker than her."
"I'm not as clever as her..."
"You are clever. I told you that half the reason she got those grades was because she worked so hard. She didn't like Maths. Did you know that when first went out we wagged school together?"
"You didn't!"
"We did. And then our work suffered so we got our act together - she did anyway," Declan said ruefully. "I was somewhat less focused on my schoolwork."
"But don't you wish you was a boy, Dad?"
He stared at her.
"Where on earth did you get that from?"
"Because you thought I was going to be one. You were so sure. You wanted a son to share stuff with that you didn't get to share with your dad because you didn't have one. You wanted to take a boy fishing and play footy with and -"
"And I've done all that with you. Don't you know how much I love you?"
"Yes, but - don't you wish you had a son instead?"
"No!" His throat had gone tight. How long had she felt like that for?
"You're better than a thousand sons. Do you have any idea how happy I was when you were born? I was so happy to have a little girl. Mum knew you were a girl."
She looked unsure.
"I was so happy. I was never so happy in my life."
"But you said if I was a boy you'd have more of an idea of what to say..."
"And you thought that meant...?" he closed his eyes. "India, you're right, I don't know what it's like to be a girl - how could I? The only female I knew very well growing up was Mum - Grandma, I mean. I didn't have any sisters. We moved so much I couldn't keep many friends for long, in fact I didn't keep any, and most of them were boys. I only started knowing girls properly when we moved to Ramsay Street and that was when I was sixteen, not twelve. So sometimes I muck it up. I never meant that I wanted a son instead."
"Really?"
"Really really."
He gave her a hug.
"Mum knew so much," he told her. "She knew she was going to have a fantastic daughter and she was right."
The door opened and Miranda came in, her eyes shining.
"Marie's gone into labour!"