Post by Bee on Dec 31, 2010 15:08:19 GMT
i reached for you this morning
woke up with empty arms
once again it's sinking in
how far away you are
i still pour two cups of coffee
and tell you all about my dreams
this kitchen's way to quiet
you should still be here with me
Dear Bridget,
I guess this is a goodbye letter, but I don't want to say goodbye, goodbye is too final, so i'm going to say see you later. I can't keep living like this, avoiding the pain of the past, I need to move on and be happy, and I know you'd want me to be, especially for our daughter.
I still wake up every morning expecting for you to be lying next to me, I feel so empty when I realize you're not there, you should be, it's far too unfair that our love was cut short like that.
and even though i cry like crazy
even though it hurts so bad
i'm thankful for the time god gave me
even though we couldn't make it last
i'm learning how to live without you
even though i don't want to
and even with you gone love lives on
I'm doing okay I guess now, we've got our own apartment in Erinsborough and we're slowly getting our way through life with out you.
I finished my business course this year finally, I had to take a couple of years off in between because of Indy and getting our own house and everything organized, but I got there in the end and i've got a executive position in a company in Melbourne lined up for me, I will drive there everyday for now but I might move India and I up there in the next few years.
i still call your mum on sunday
it's good to hear her voice
she always tells me that same story
about her stubborn little girl
and i kept your favorite tshirt
you know the one i used to hate
ain't it funny how it's the one thing now
i just can't throw away
Your mum and I talk every week still, and occasionally your dad will ring for a chat and to talk to India. They're doing okay, they miss you a lot like India and I do but they are okay. They're up in Oakey still helping out your grandad on his farm, they both retired last year and India and I visited them on Christmas.
Mum and Donna convinced me to donate most of your clothes to charity a few months ago, it's been years and they thought that it was unhealthy for me to keep your clothing in our cupboard still, so I chose a few things I wanted to keep of yours and donated the rest. Mum said that you'd be proud to know that your clothes have gone to a good cause, and I guess you would be.
and even though i cry like crazy
even though it hurts so bad
i'm thankful for the time god gave me
even though we couldn't make it last
i'm learning how to live without you
even though i don't want to
and even with you gone love lives on
I've shown India videos of our wedding and other videos we took of each other when we were teenagers, she loves seeing you on video and thinks that you were the most beautiful woman on earth, as do I.
She says that even if she never knew you she still feels like she has a connection to you and that she knows what you'd approve of and what you wouldn't, i'd have to take her word for it because your mum tried to dress her in a pink dress when she was four and she said quite clearly "mum wouldn't like me in this".
she comes with me on your birthday
little flowers in her hands
she's always known there's something missing
but to young to understand
and someday she's going to ask me
what kind of woman you were
i'll tell her all the ways i loved you
and all of you i see in her
We visit you every year on your birthday, India always hugs and kisses the ground above your grave, do you feel that? She's always known that her mummy loved her lots but had to go to heaven. I don't think it will fully sink in about how you're not here with her til she's a teenager but for now knowing that her mummy is watching down on her from heaven seems to be enough for her.
and even though i cry like crazy
even though it hurts so bad
i'm thankful for the love god gave me
and she's the perfect way to make it last
learning how to live without you
baby i don't want you to
but even with you gone
love lives on yeah
India is just as beautiful as you were, he's got your eyes and our facial shape but my nose and your hair. She looks just like you when she smiles and sounds just like you when she laughs. I'm so greatful that even if you left me I have India to remind me that one day I will be with my soul mate again.
India's nine now, seems crazy that it was nine years ago that I gained a daughter but lost you. She's excelling in school, a bright little girl, just as you were when you were a child and she'll be just like you as a teenager (although I hope she doesn't get into half the trouble we did as teens).
i reached for you this morning
woke up with empty arms
But it's time for me to end this letter and let you finally rest in peace, it's taken nine years for this to happen but India and I need to move on, I hope you understand.
I love you forever Bridget Parker
Your husband Dec x
---
Declan and India stood by the grave of the woman that meant the most to both of them. Declan folded up the letter and gently placed it behind the flowers on the headstone before kissing his fingers and placing them on the headstone.
"Happy birthday mum" India looked down at her mothers grave, "Dad and I wish you were here".
Declan stood up and went over to India and hugged her, "Come on Indy, let's go get some hummingbird cake, It's your mothers birthday after all".
India smiled and allowed her father to lead her away to the car.
Declan turned before reaching the gate and smiled at his wife's grave, "See you later Bridget, I will love you from now until forever".
woke up with empty arms
once again it's sinking in
how far away you are
i still pour two cups of coffee
and tell you all about my dreams
this kitchen's way to quiet
you should still be here with me
Dear Bridget,
I guess this is a goodbye letter, but I don't want to say goodbye, goodbye is too final, so i'm going to say see you later. I can't keep living like this, avoiding the pain of the past, I need to move on and be happy, and I know you'd want me to be, especially for our daughter.
I still wake up every morning expecting for you to be lying next to me, I feel so empty when I realize you're not there, you should be, it's far too unfair that our love was cut short like that.
and even though i cry like crazy
even though it hurts so bad
i'm thankful for the time god gave me
even though we couldn't make it last
i'm learning how to live without you
even though i don't want to
and even with you gone love lives on
I'm doing okay I guess now, we've got our own apartment in Erinsborough and we're slowly getting our way through life with out you.
I finished my business course this year finally, I had to take a couple of years off in between because of Indy and getting our own house and everything organized, but I got there in the end and i've got a executive position in a company in Melbourne lined up for me, I will drive there everyday for now but I might move India and I up there in the next few years.
i still call your mum on sunday
it's good to hear her voice
she always tells me that same story
about her stubborn little girl
and i kept your favorite tshirt
you know the one i used to hate
ain't it funny how it's the one thing now
i just can't throw away
Your mum and I talk every week still, and occasionally your dad will ring for a chat and to talk to India. They're doing okay, they miss you a lot like India and I do but they are okay. They're up in Oakey still helping out your grandad on his farm, they both retired last year and India and I visited them on Christmas.
Mum and Donna convinced me to donate most of your clothes to charity a few months ago, it's been years and they thought that it was unhealthy for me to keep your clothing in our cupboard still, so I chose a few things I wanted to keep of yours and donated the rest. Mum said that you'd be proud to know that your clothes have gone to a good cause, and I guess you would be.
and even though i cry like crazy
even though it hurts so bad
i'm thankful for the time god gave me
even though we couldn't make it last
i'm learning how to live without you
even though i don't want to
and even with you gone love lives on
I've shown India videos of our wedding and other videos we took of each other when we were teenagers, she loves seeing you on video and thinks that you were the most beautiful woman on earth, as do I.
She says that even if she never knew you she still feels like she has a connection to you and that she knows what you'd approve of and what you wouldn't, i'd have to take her word for it because your mum tried to dress her in a pink dress when she was four and she said quite clearly "mum wouldn't like me in this".
she comes with me on your birthday
little flowers in her hands
she's always known there's something missing
but to young to understand
and someday she's going to ask me
what kind of woman you were
i'll tell her all the ways i loved you
and all of you i see in her
We visit you every year on your birthday, India always hugs and kisses the ground above your grave, do you feel that? She's always known that her mummy loved her lots but had to go to heaven. I don't think it will fully sink in about how you're not here with her til she's a teenager but for now knowing that her mummy is watching down on her from heaven seems to be enough for her.
and even though i cry like crazy
even though it hurts so bad
i'm thankful for the love god gave me
and she's the perfect way to make it last
learning how to live without you
baby i don't want you to
but even with you gone
love lives on yeah
India is just as beautiful as you were, he's got your eyes and our facial shape but my nose and your hair. She looks just like you when she smiles and sounds just like you when she laughs. I'm so greatful that even if you left me I have India to remind me that one day I will be with my soul mate again.
India's nine now, seems crazy that it was nine years ago that I gained a daughter but lost you. She's excelling in school, a bright little girl, just as you were when you were a child and she'll be just like you as a teenager (although I hope she doesn't get into half the trouble we did as teens).
i reached for you this morning
woke up with empty arms
But it's time for me to end this letter and let you finally rest in peace, it's taken nine years for this to happen but India and I need to move on, I hope you understand.
I love you forever Bridget Parker
Your husband Dec x
---
Declan and India stood by the grave of the woman that meant the most to both of them. Declan folded up the letter and gently placed it behind the flowers on the headstone before kissing his fingers and placing them on the headstone.
"Happy birthday mum" India looked down at her mothers grave, "Dad and I wish you were here".
Declan stood up and went over to India and hugged her, "Come on Indy, let's go get some hummingbird cake, It's your mothers birthday after all".
India smiled and allowed her father to lead her away to the car.
Declan turned before reaching the gate and smiled at his wife's grave, "See you later Bridget, I will love you from now until forever".
