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Post by sophie on Mar 2, 2010 20:02:37 GMT
The week before Christmas was manic. Decorating the house, Christmas shopping, getting the tree. Bridget asked herself, as she did every year, why she always left it until the last minute. At least she wasn’t as bad as Declan who often sneakily did his last minute shop on Christmas Eve. One day that week Bridget had the day off and India was at a friend’s house. She took the opportunity to buy some of her daughter’s presents. Bridget drove up to the local toy shop, which sold books as well and smiled as she went in from the melting heat. Everything was brightly coloured and looked happy. She felt a little better as the air-conditioning blasted on, but really, it was still too hot and morning sickness was hitting hard – all day sickness more like! Bridget looked fondly over the toys and remembered how happy she had been when Miranda and Steve had took her on trips to the toy shop in Sydney, or, very, very occasionally, the trips taken with the children’s home or with a foster family. She remembered being extremely small and going there with the family that had bullied Riley. That had been just before Christmas. But they had all gone, him as well, and she remembered feeling hot then too but all the discomfort going as they had gone inside and had stood with her mouth open at all the books and toys, holding the hand of someone she couldn’t remember.
“Go and have a look,” someone had said and all the children had gone wild. She had run over to an area with some footballs and cuddly toys and fell down onto a beanbag, and then she had seen a teddy. The teddy looked sad and Bridget wished she could make him feel better so she reached out for him and gave him a cuddle and there she had lay on the beanbag whilst the other children had annoyed the shop assistant by running round and chucking balls at each other.
“Do you want the bear?” the someone had asked and Bridget had nodded speechlessly and then it had been placed in her arms, really hers.
“Did you get a toy?” she remembered asking Riley and he had grimly shown her a race car.
“I wanted a football but John wanted it and said I couldn’t have it.”
Poor Riley. Bridget couldn’t remember how much longer it had been from that day but she had a memory of seeing the car smashed up in the corner of his tiny room that they shared and him being punished, even though he had protested,
“It wasn’t me!”
Then a little while later they had left and Bridget had lost her teddy and she said so in the car but the social worker said they couldn’t go back. She had cried.
Bridget gave herself a shake. There was no point in going over all these bad memories – the point was to make herself feel happy and now she felt more sad! She couldn’t cry in a toy shop! She had to buy some things for India, she reminded herself. What could she get her? She instantly discarded the large dolly collection, pretty though they were. India wasn’t into dolls; she said they were boring. She had a few Barbies, one from Miranda and a few as birthday presents from school friends but they were rarely played with – only once for when India needed some victims for a dinosaur game. Miranda had exclaimed and Bridget had reminded her that at least she wasn’t beheading them as she had done.
She walked over to the book section – India was becoming quite a reader, surprisingly enough. Most of the books were too young for her, aimed for toddlers, but there was one Bridget caught up titled I’m Going to be a Big Sister!, next to one with the same title only aimed for little boys becoming brothers. Hopefully that would make her feel more excited. Bridget was doing her best at making her feel part of it and special but it didn’t seem to be working very well yet. She’s adjusting, she reminded herself, she’s still getting used to it, but Indy still sulked more than she used to and seemed to want more attention. Bridget wondered how she would have felt if Steve and Miranda had had a baby after her. She hoped she would have felt happy.
What else could she get India? Bridget spotted a selection of skipping ropes and snatched up a bright green one, that was good, and then for her main present she saw some rollerskates she could buy with the money she and Declan had pooled together. And then just some Santa presents, and Bridget bought some bouncy balls, pencils and sweets. There. Relatively painless. Bridget saw a football and bought that for the whole family. She was still a big fan of a kickabout though she wouldn’t find that very doable soon. That was all the present-shopping done for today, Bridget thought happily. Now it was time to pick up India and she could finish it off tomorrow. Bridget hated shopping – always had done, always would, though shopping for toys wasn’t too awful she supposed. Some of the toys looked so fun she wished she was young enough to play with them.
Bridget drove back and hid all the presents where India couldn’t find them and then went to pick up her daughter. She rang the bell and Emily’s mother opened the door.
“Hello,” she said brightly. “The girls are playing in the garden, they’ve been outside most of today so hopefully they’ll sleep like logs tonight!”
Bridget hoped that too but doubted it.
“India told me you were expecting,” said Emily’s mother. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” said Bridget. “I’m not due for a while yet.”
“I suppose India is still getting used to it.”
Emily’s mother led her inside.
“Yes – what did she say?”
“She said everyone thought about the baby now.”
“Oh. Well, she’s still adjusting. She knows how much we love her...” Bridget’s voice trailed off.
“Of course she does. It’s common for children to feel that way, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Come in,” she told Bridget and then going to the back door, she opened it and called, “Girls, it’s time to come in now! India’s mummy’s here!”
Muffled voices came back saying, “We don’t want to!”
“Come on!”
Bridget came and joined Emily’s mother. The girls were hiding under a bench.
“Indy, come on. It’s time for dinner. Say thank you to Emily and her mummy and then we have to go.”
“No!”
Please, Bridget begged silently, don’t throw a tantrum. Don’t show me up and be on your worst behaviour.
“India!” she said firmly, trying to still sound friendly, “it’s time to go. Come on.”
“NO!”
That was it. Bridget marched past Emily’s mother and over to the bench the girls were hiding under.
“India Napier,” she said to her daughter, “do you want pudding tonight?”
“Yes.”
“Well, if you don’t come out this instant you won’t get any and that goes for the rest of this week as well. And Santa will know you’ve been naughty!”
The threat worked. India’s eyes went wide as saucers and she scrambled out.
“Good girl.”
“Thank you,” said India very politely, feeling scared of losing pudding and presents from Santa.
“You’re welcome,” said Emily’s mother and then Emily who had come out as well, said,
“You’re welcome,” in a small voice.
“Goodbye,” said India and Bridget smiled and got her in the car.
“It was very naughty of you not to come out when I told you to,” she said to her daughter as they left the street.
“We were having fun!”
“You had fun all day. When I say you have to go you have to.”
“Emily said I could stay there forever and play on her trampoline.”
“Wouldn’t you miss me and Daddy?”
“I’d come back when I felt like it.”
“Oh would you?” asked Bridget. “How would you do that?”
“Fly.” India stared out of the window.
“Well, I wouldn’t you want you to stay there. I’d miss you too much.”
India still stared out of the window.
Bridget felt a wave of nausea overcoming her as they approached the house and she locked the car as quickly as she could, ran into the house and just made it to the bathroom in time. They don’t mention this part when they go on about the joys of pregnancy, she thought bitterly. And it was still her first trimester! She came back down and saw India with a glass of overflowing orange squash.
“You know I’m meant to help you pour that!” Bridget groaned.
“I was thirsty and you were upstairs!”
“Put it carefully down!” Bridget told her and she did but managed to knock the cup with her elbow and it spilt everywhere.
“India!”
“It was an accident!” she squeaked.
Bridget was relieved that it was on the plastic table cloth and mopped it up, feeling cross. Knowing that it was probably best to stay out of the way, India quietly slipped next door. Bridget could have wept with joy when Declan came back and wondered how on earth single parents did it. They deserved medals. She loved her daughter more than life itself but the thought of looking after her all by herself made her feel dizzy. She needed help. She had to have a break now and then. Unlike Emily’s mother’s prediction India did not sleep like a log that night, nor did she appear tired at all. Normally when she fell asleep India was out for the count but it could take a long time for that happen and it looked as if it would be one of those nights. She didn’t feel tired even after helping Declan tidy the kitchen and wash up (though she did manage to chip a saucer). She grabbed a string of tinsel, wound it round her and ran round the house shouting,
“I’m the Christmas fairy!”
“Settle down Indy,” said Declan. “Mummy’s not feeling well.”
Bridget felt terrible – worn out and far too hot. India was sorry and waved her tinsel over her.
“Does that make you feel better Mummy? It’s magic!”
“Yes, sweetheart,” Bridget smiled.
Declan took India up to bed slightly earlier than normal to try and get some peace and Bridget had just closed her eyes when the phone rang. She pulled herself up and irritably answered,
“Hello?”
“Sorry, have I disturbed you darling?”
It was Miranda.
“No, Mum,” said Bridget, carrying the phone to the sofa. "Sorry."
“Are we still all set for Saturday? Coming over at eleven?”
“Yes, of course.” Saturday was Christmas.
“Wonderful.” Miranda hesitated. “Riley’s coming tomorrow.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I thought you’d want to know. Maybe you could meet up this week.”
“Maybe. I’m very busy Mum.”
“I know you are. I’m not trying to nag.”
“I know,” said Bridget, feeling sorry for sounding snappy. “I’ll call if I’m not.”
“How is it all going?”
“Oh, you know...”
The conversation melted into talk of the day and Christmas preparation.
“India’s still not happy Mum,” said Bridget miserably.
“Well, it won’t happen overnight.”
“I’m trying,” she sighed. “But she’s still acting up.”
“It’s gradual, darling. I’m happy to take her out of your hair for a day.”
“You’re a star, Mum,” said Bridget gratefully.
“I know how it can get!” said Miranda, laughing.
After she had hung up Bridget wondered what it would be like seeing her brother. It felt strange when they met up these days which was sad. He was still her big brother.
“Hey,” said Declan in concern after he came down, “what’s going on? Why are you upset?”
“Everything with Ri,” she told him sniffling. “I wish we could make up. I wish we could just get over it. I want to but it just feels like we can't. And I wish India would come round.”
“Well, she’s finally off to sleep,” said Declan. “And you never know, maybe you and Riley can. If you both try.”
She gave him a kiss.
“What’s that for?”
“Being you.”
When Bridget went up to the bathroom she saw India’s light was on.
“Come on,” she said, as she walked in and saw her daughter playing with a ball. “It’s time for bed.”
She tucked her back in.
“Indy, you know we don’t think of the baby more than you, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“We don’t.” Bridget gave her a kiss. “We think of you just as much. You’re my girl.”
“What if the baby’s a girl?”
“That wouldn’t make you any less special, I promise.”
Bridget gave her a kiss and turned off the light but India still felt unsure and clutched her own teddy that Mummy had bought her in the toy shop all those years ago after she had said it looked sad.
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Post by Bee on Mar 3, 2010 7:27:01 GMT
Thats so good Sophie! i loved the ending!!
I hope Indy comes around soon!!
Cant wait for more!
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Post by sophie on Mar 5, 2010 12:46:36 GMT
Bridget sat at her desk at work and tried to concentrate, but all she could think of was that Riley was back. She told herself to stop worrying about it and to focus but it kept coming back to her, their terrible argument and how he had hurt her and how they had never spoken properly to each other since. Well, he never said sorry! She thought indignantly. And he didn’t see Indy for months after she was born. Her shift ended, Bridget went home but it still echoed in her mind and Declan saying maybe you can make up if you try. She cleaned, tidied, watched some television but it was all no use and, after hesitating for a brief moment, she picked up the phone and rang her parents’ number.
“Hello?” It was Steve.
“Hi Dad!”
“Didge, hey! How are you? Riley’s just arrived!”
“I’m fine – that’s sort of why I rang. I wanted to say hello.”
“Well, of course Didge,” said Steve sounded pleasantly surprised and then Bridget heard him call,
“Ri! It’s your sister!”
She heard him walk over, take the phone from their father and then he said,
“Didge?” uncertainly.
“Hey Ri.”
“Didge, how are you?” He sounded puzzled.
“I’m fine. How was your trip?”
“Okay. Good. No traffic.”
“That’s good,” she agreed and then before she could change her mind she asked suddenly,
“What are you doing tomorrow? Do you have anything planned?”
“No, not yet,” he said, “but I’m not sure if Mum and Dad have anything planned..”
“Don’t worry about us!” Bridget heard Miranda say in the background.
“I take that’s a no from them,” her brother said, laughing slightly. “Why, anyway?”
“Did you want to meet up for lunch?”
“Sure.” He sounded very surprised.
“Say one at The Olive Tree? Mum will tell you how to get there.”
“Okay.” He still sounded surprised. “See you then.”
Bridget hung up the phone and bit her lip. She hated how formal their conversations had become but maybe they could change it now. It was about time. And speaking of time, the doorbell rang; Rebecca was dropping off India after looking after her that day.
“Mummy!” exclaimed India. “We painted!”
“Did you?”
“Yeah, I painted you!” and India thrust a large piece of paper with a smudgy portrait of Bridget on it.
“That’s brilliant! Well done!”
“I had a nice day!”
“What do we say?” asked Bridget prompting India.
“Thanks for having me Grandma!”
“Oh you’re more than welcome!” said Rebecca laughing.
“Rebecca, I’m sorry, I know this is incredibly short notice, but could you look after India tomorrow afternoon?”
“Of course.” Rebecca sounded surprised. “It’s no problem at all.”
“Thanks. Something’s come up.”
“Oh?” Rebecca didn’t want to sound prying but she was curious.
“I’m seeing Riley tomorrow.”
“Oh!” Rebecca knew that they had had an argument – Declan had complained about him a few times – but she didn’t know the full story. Just that they didn’t speak much now.
“Yes.” Bridget looked down. “How about that Indy? Another day with Grandma?”
“Yay!”
No backing out now. But Bridget rarely backed out of anything. “Declan,” said Bridget that night as they got ready for bed, “I called Riley today.”
“Really? How’s he?”
“Fine. I said I’d see him for lunch tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?” Declan frowned a little and looked at her.
“Well, yeah,” Bridget said defensively. “He’s my brother and you said we should try and make up.”
“I know I did but I don’t want him upsetting you.”
“He won’t upset me!” Bridget felt annoyed.
"He’s not coming here is he?” There was no love lost between Declan and Riley.
Bridget sighed.
“No, don’t worry.”
“I’m not the one with the problem, he is,” Declan said, his turn to get defensive. “He’s the one who hates me and says I ruined your life!”
“I know, I know.” Bridget closed her eyes. “He’s always been too protective.”
“I’ll say,” Declan grumbled.
They got into bed and Declan put his arm round her.
“You know I wouldn’t even mind it if he wasn’t horrible to you too. Because I understand why he hates me.”
“I wish he didn’t.” Bridget stared up at the ceiling.
“He doesn’t hate you though Didge. He’s just out of line.”
“No. I don’t think he does either. I know he doesn’t.”
“But if he upsets you I’ll go less easy on him!”
At one o’clock Bridget sat in the cafe and studied a menu nervously. It was pathetic to feel so nervous, she told herself, she was only meeting her brother! She had never felt intimidated by him – she could only remember a couple of times that she had and she wouldn’t be now! The door opened and Riley walked in nervously and Bridget stood up. They really were too formal for their own good, she thought again ruefully.
“Hey Didge.” He sat down opposite and took a menu.
“You found it okay then?” Stupid question.
“Yeah, Mum gave good directions. She always does.”
“It’s just a shame Dad doesn’t listen to her when we’re driving somewhere,” said Bridget and they laughed.
“Mum said you had some news,” said Riley. “But she said I should wait for you to tell me.”
“Oh,” said Bridget, and wished Mum had told him. “I’m having another baby.”
“Wow!” Riley looked surprised. “Well, congratulations,” he said, which was nice enough, be it didn’t sound very sincere.
“Don’t go overboard!” said Bridget sarcastically.
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t sound particularly thrilled for me.”
“I’m just surprised,” he said honestly. “It’s great for you if that’s what you want but I didn’t think you were going to have any more children. Didn’t you tell me you couldn’t afford it?”
Trust Riley to tell it how it was.
“It was a surprise,” Bridget admitted. “But we’re happy about it.”
“Oh,” said Riley, sounding unenthusiastic again.
“There you go again!”
“What?!”
“Sounding so angry with me!”
“I’m not angry with you!” Riley exclaimed. “I’m not! I wasn’t angry with you the first time!”
“Don’t lie!” said Bridget, shocked. “You were furious with me! You told me my life was over!”
“I was just disappointed!”
“Well, you could have put that aside and been there for me,” said Bridget angrily. All formalities were gone now.
“I was scared to tell Mum and Dad. I was so scared to tell Mum and Dad. And I was scared to tell you too, but did you know what I thought? I thought, even if Mum and Dad go off their heads and throw me out you’ll be there. You’ll look after me. You’ll come down from Sydney if you have to because I’m your little sister. And do you know what happened? You were the one who told me I’d destroyed my life, you were the one who told me I’d made the worst mistake of my life and Mum and Dad were the ones who hugged me, were there for me and told me everything would work out. I didn’t need a lecture on how stupid I’d been – didn’t you think I knew that? It was the scariest time of my life and all I needed was a hug.”
“I’m sorry I went off at you. I am. But you can understand why I was upset, can’t you?”
“Yes, but you didn’t have to yell at me like that!”
“But you were the clever one! You were the one who was going to be a doctor! You were the one Miranda and Steve chose, the one who shone at everything and then you went out with that – that Declan Napier, who got you into trouble with the police and your school work and distracted you and the next thing I know, within five minutes of getting together, you’re pregnant with his baby!”
“It was slightly longer than five minutes!” Bridget snapped. “We were only unprotected once – yes, I know that’s not an excuse. And Declan was brilliant to me before we got together – he held my hand the whole way through that awful thing was Chris Knight and Dad going to prison and when I thought I’d go to prison too and where were you? Skipping off to another state!”
“I had to get away.”
“How could you be so selfish?” Bridget snapped.
“I’m sorry for that, you know I am. But even if Declan was there for you during all that, what about when you got pregnant? He did a runner, kissed that other girl, you took him back and he made you marry him!”
“Made me?” Bridget snapped. “I wanted to! I’m not a doormat!”
“But you had the whole future ahead of you! You were going to be a doctor!”
“Riley, I still am,” said Bridget softening.
“How?” he exclaimed. “You’re young, you’re married, you have a child and soon you’ll have two. How will you find the time?”
“I will!” It was just like the conversation she had imagined she would have with Mum and Dad when she had first found out she was pregnant.
“Riley, I have my VCE. I have good grades. I still study. I have a job. It’s not like I’m stuck at home feeling bitter. I was so lucky.”
“Lucky?”
“Well, Declan supported me. He loves me. We love each other and we have a wonderful daughter. It worked out.”
“You can’t blame me for being angry with him,” said Riley. “Imagine if India got pregnant young – what would Declan do? What would you do?”
“She won’t!” said Bridget automatically and Riley looked at her.
“I’m not saying she will, but she could. How do you suppose Declan would feel about the father?”
“He’d want to kill him,” admitted Bridget.
“Well then.”
“But it’s not like he abandoned me. He freaked out but he came to his senses. He came back and he’s never left me since. He loves me. And that’s why Dad didn’t kill him. And if India did get pregnant I’d be there for her,” said Bridget firmly. “No, I probably wouldn’t be happy but I’d accept any choice she’d make and I’d be there for her every step of the way, like Mum and Dad did for me, like you should have done.”
Riley looked down.
“I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you,” said Bridget. “But you could have acted better.”
“It’s because I love you,” he said. “You’re my baby sister – I was angry at the situation and myself, not with you. When you were born she said I had to look after you and make sure you were okay. And I tried but I let you down.”
“But I was seventeen!” Bridget exclaimed. “I was old enough to make my own choices. I made my own mistakes. You couldn’t protect me from getting pregnant. But you could have come down from Sydney.”
“I didn’t know what to say to you after that phone call. I always wanted to apologise but I never knew how.” “It’s okay,” said Bridget. “I understand. It all worked out anyway – look at India. We should have talked this out years ago.”
It had started raining pretty hard outside.
“We haven’t even ordered!” said Riley, laughing.
“Hold on,” said Bridget suddenly. “You said she told me to protect you when I was born? Joanna told you that? You do remember her!”
“I don’t!”
“Yes you do!” shouted Bridget.
“I don’t!”
There was a sudden crash of thunder and flashes of lightening and Riley and Bridget stopped arguing and looked out of the window.
"Oh God," said Riley, "I can't get back in that!"
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Post by Bee on Mar 7, 2010 6:53:47 GMT
This is so great Sophie, i squealed when i saw you updated haha (:
Can't wait for more!!
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Post by sophie on Mar 7, 2010 10:31:11 GMT
You can stay at mine," Bridget said dully. "You'll have to stay at mine."
It was all too much. It was like being hit over the head by the world's biggest hammer. She'd had no image of Joanna until she had met her six years ago....no idea what she could have been like except for maybe brown curly hair. When she was little Bridget had nagged at Riley for a memory, even just a feeling but he had got cross with her every time and said, "The earliest thing I can remember is holding you for the first time but I don't remember anyone else being there. I don't have really clear memories before I was seven." And he had got angry with her when she had still pleaded with him so she had eventually stopped asking and now...
"You lied!" said Bridget, staring at him. "How could you lie? I know you remember. I know you remember her. Why did you say you didn't?"
"She didn't deserve to be remembered! I didn't want to remember her; I didn't want to tell you stuff about her! We didn't have a mum until Miranda and that's the way it should be!"
"Riley!"
"She gave us up!"
"Miranda will never stop being our mother," said Bridget, her throat going tight. "Ever. But that doesn't mean that you couldn't tell me things about her."
"I didn't want to!"
"Well, it's not always about what you want!" shouted Bridget and the lightning flashed again. "What about what I wanted?"
"It hurt to remember her," Riley said.
"I know..." said Bridget, "but couldn't you have told me at least one thing? What do you remember?"
Riley briefly closed his eyes and thought back.
"I remember before you were born," he said eventually. "Not very much. I remember where I went to school – well, sitting in a room with other kids anyway. And her coming to get me. And I remember her crying sometimes and she told me it was hard. I don't remember our dad."
"You know he died," said Bridget, sniffling slightly. "Do you remember that?"
"No," said Riley honestly. "I really can't remember that. But I do remember her crying a lot. She said you were coming and I had to be a strong brother and I said I would, or something like that. And I remember how big she was – pregnant, I mean. And I remember one day being at someone else's house and I had to stay there overnight as well. I don't know who."
"A schoolfriend?"
"I think it was a neighbour. We lived in a flat. Anyway, I was there for a few days – I'm not sure exactly – and then she came home with you. And she put you in my arms and she said, This is your baby sister. Bridget. And you've got to look after her and make sure she's okay."
Riley had started crying a little and Bridget could feel herself starting to as well.
"Then...then one night she came and sat by my bed. She was carrying you. She said that it was too hard and we had to go to some nice people who'd make sure we'd be okay all the time. And I asked her hadn't I been good? And she said I had, but she had a grown-up problem and it wasn't our fault. She said she'd come back. And then I don't really remember anything until the children's home."
They were both crying by then.
"How could she, Didge?" Riley sounded like a child. "We weren't doing too badly."
Bridget said,
"She was ill Riley. She said she wasn't looking after us properly. She had a drug problem too. She wanted us to be okay..."
"But we were! We had each other!"
"It was hard," Bridget said, echoing Joanna, as though she could remember it all too.
The rain had died down slightly and the waitresses were staring at them.
"Come on," said Bridget, wiping her tears away. "Let's go back whilst it's not too bad. I walked over here I'm afraid."
"It's okay," said Riley gruffly. "I've got the van."
"Thank you," said Bridget to the waitress, even though they had bought nothing, and they stumbled outside.
"I can't believe you still have that van!" Bridget exclaimed, staring at it whilst it shone yellow in the rain."
"It's still perfect," said Riley proudly. "I'd never let her go. Come on, hop in."
Bridget clambered inside feeling like when she was twelve and Riley had first bought the van and had driven them everywhere – for as long as they liked if Bridget wasn't too annoying.
"It's still the same!" she exclaimed joyfully. "All the same...look, you've still got that ancient air freshener and that must have run out years ago!"
"It's cool!" Riley said in defence.
"Yeah, whatever!"
She directed him home.
No one was in.
"Declan's at work til five and India should be back soon," said Bridget. "Do you want a cup of tea?"
"Sure," said Riley distractedly. He was looking through the collection of photos on the dresser – Baby India, Bridget and Declan's wedding day, India's first day of school and,
"Us!" he said in surprise. There was a photo of Riley and Bridget aged thirteen and seven standing by the sea grinning, very sunburnt. Declan had asked her,
"Why do you keep it? Why do you have it there?"
She got annoyed with him every time he asked and could never understand why he didn't think that his being her brother was enough.
"And it's a happy memory!" she had said for emphasis.
"I love that photo," Bridget said, coming to join him. "Mum and Dad taking us to Nelson's Cove – it always felt perfect there."
"It was. You didn't even seem annoying there," he said jokily and she gave him a small punch.
The bell rang. Rebecca was back with India.
"Oh!" said Rebecca in surprise. "Is this Riley?"
"Yes, we got caught in the storm so he's staying here tonight."
Rebecca wondered how her son would react to that.
"Nice to meet you," Riley said and he stuck out his hand and Rebecca shook it coolly.
"Thanks, Grandma," said India and Bridget thanked her too.
"You know it's no problem. I should get back, but I'll see you on Saturday anyway. Good to meet you at last!" Rebecca told Riley and she took off.
"Look who it is is India!" said Bridget. "Uncle Riley!"
"Hi!" he said awkwardly. He had never known how to act around children.
"Hello," said India in a small voice. She was a bit scared of him.
"Do you want to have a drink Indy?" asked Bridget, taking her coat off.
"No thank you," said India in a small voice and she ran upstairs.
"Sorry about that!" said Bridget. "She's not normally shy."
"She looks just like you," Riley said. "It's uncanny."
"Well, I am her mum."
"Joanna had brown hair," said Riley suddenly. "I remember that too. Lots of curls."
"It was straight when I met her," Bridget said and they both started crying again. It was like they had no power over it, no control. They storm got hard again and they were still crying by the time Declan got back. Bridget came to the door.
"Didge?" he asked, and he held her and she cried into his shoulder and he stroked her hair. "What is it?" He caught sight of Riley in the other room.
"What have you said to her?" he demanded. "How dare you make her cry like that? You take off with just a note and then see your family once a year, twice at the most, and then she takes you into our home and you reduce her to tears?! How dare you? Get out!"
"Declan stop it!" shouted Bridget and she pulled herself away. "He hasn't made me cry – not about that anyway. It's other stuff. Our stuff. Nothing to do with you or Indy. Nothing about that."
"He's made you cry," he said, still staring at Riley but then he stopped when he saw that his brother-in-law was crying too.
"Please leave it," Bridget begged.
Declan didn't know what to say.
"Where's India?" he asked weakly.
"In her room." Bridget wiped her eyes again.
"I'll go and check on her." Declan hurried upstairs.
"I'm sorry," said Bridget to her brother. "He overreacts."
"He loves you."
"Yes, he does. You should learn to like him at least."
"I've always thought of you as the boy who tied you down."
"He didn't," Bridget promised. "He did nothing like that to me."
Dinner was tense. No one spoke much. Declan stared at Riley across the table.
"What are we going to do about beds?" Bridget asked. "There's the spare room but there's no bed in it. I guess India will have to sleep in ours and Riley can take her bed."
"I don't mind taking the sofa," said Riley.
"I'll take it," said Declan, getting up. "You're the guest. It's only for one night anyway."
"Thanks, mate," said Riley in surprise.
Bridget took him to her daughter's room.
"Sorry the bed's so small and it's all quite purple," she said, looking round the room.
"It's fine. Thanks."
Bridget sat down on the bed.
"Why do you think Mum and Dad love me more?" she asked suddenly. "They don't."
"They chose you. They only took me when they found out you had a brother."
"That doesn't mean they don't love you!" Bridget exclaimed. "You're their son!"
"And you're their daughter. They clever one who was good at everything and was going to be a doctor."
"I felt like the letdown. I wasn't good at being girly. I wasn't good at shopping or wearing pink or being the kind of daughter Mum wanted. I thought that anyway."
"Mum loved you for you!"
"I know that now. And they love you for you. You know that, don't you?"
"Yes...I just get too caught up in it sometimes."
Bridget picked up India's teddy bear.
"I've met someone," Riley said suddenly.
"Oh?"
"Her name's Marie," Riley said, smiling. "It's sad though – my friend met her from a bereavement centre – her dad died six years ago. She doesn't talk about it much but she listens. She's great."
"I'm happy for you Ri. That's sad about her dad though."
"Yeah. I couldn't lose any of you."
"What were you and Riley crying about?" Declan asked as Bridget went to kiss him goodnight.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Didge –"
"No. Goodnight, Declan."
She went to her own room and even though her daughter sang and giggled and lay beside her she felt very alone.
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Post by sophie on Mar 9, 2010 21:17:22 GMT
Bridget woke up alone. She sat up, confused, and then remembered that Riley had stayed over and Declan had slept on the sofa. India must have got up already; Bridget got up, pulled on her faded dressing gown and padded out to find her daughter. She heard them before she saw them, the loud chattering of her daughter and agreeing of her brother in a quieter voice and then turned the corner and saw them both at the table, India's feet swinging above the floor and her elbows on the table as she told her uncle a long story about a footy game she had played with Jamie.
"Hello you two," said Bridget, coming and sitting down. "How was the bed?"
"Fine." Riley smiled.
"And how are you Indyness?"
"I'm telling Uncle Riley a story!"
"Yes, I can see. Less shy this morning, aren't you?"
"He made me a pancake!"
"Did he now?"
"I hope that's okay," said Riley sheepishly. "She told me she loved them."
"You shouldn't ask people to make things for you!"
"I didn't!" protested India with her mouth full of food. "Ruth wanted one."
"Ruth?" Ruth was an old imaginary friend who hadn't come out to play for quite a time now.
"I thought you'd stopped seeing her."
"Ruth went on holiday. She's back now."
"I see."
"You're not annoyed are you?" asked Riley.
"No, it's nice of you. I always loved it when you made pancakes for me – it was a rare thing!"
"Well, Mum made them better," said Riley in defence. "I tended to ruin them."
"Remember when you burnt the frying pan?" said Bridget, laughing.
"I thought Mum was going to murder me!"
"She probably would have if Dad hadn't stopped her."
India reached out for the milk and started pouring some into her glass but she knocked it and the milk spilt everywhere.
"Whoops," she said and Bridget felt annoyed.
"I'll get a cloth," said Riley and hurried to the sink and started mopping it up.
"She should really do it herself!"
"Thank you Uncle Riley," said India meekly.
"Where's your daddy?" asked Bridget, noticing that the sofa was empty.
"He's in the shower," India told her, and ate the rest of the crumbs.
"I see. Come on, let's get you dressed. What do you say to Uncle Riley for making the pancake?"
"Thank you. Ruth says it too."
After Bridget and India had gone Riley took the plates to the sink and Declan finished in the bathroom. He gave Riley a brief nod and went to his and Bridget's room to get dressed and Riley decided it was probably a good thing to get ready too, but to his dismay Declan was the only one in the sitting room when he had finished.
"You can sit down if you like," Declan said, as Riley stood about feeling embarrassed. He did so. He looked across at his sister's husband and even though he knew he should probably start trying to like him the urge to punch him still lingered.
"What?" asked Declan.
"Huh?"
"Is there something spilt on my top? You're staring at me."
"No. Sorry."
"You don't have to pretend," said Declan. "Bridget's not here. I know you hate me."
"I don't hate you..."
"Yes you do. I know why."
"I'm trying to like you," said Riley irritably, "but you're not making it very easy!"
"Why are you trying to like me?"
"For Didge."
"You didn't do much for her before."
"That's not true!" snapped Riley. "She's my sister, I've done everything for her!"
"Not when you told her she'd ruined her life and ran off to Sydney!"
"I was a jerk but we've made up. And I wasn't angry with her, I was angry with you."
"I loved her then as well," Declan said. "Even though I really screwed things up when she told me. But you've acted like I made her do everything. I could never make her do anything, Didge is the most stubborn woman in the world. Not that I'd want to anyway."
"She's my little sister and you got her pregnant. She never did anything wrong until she met you!"
"Oh come off it!" said Declan, staring at him. "Didge is her own person. Did you know she drove before me when went drag racing? We did everything together. You, Steve and Miranda always had this weird idea that she this perfect little girl until I met her. That she never did anything slightly rebellious. I bet she did, she either hid it or you ignored it."
"You didn't know Didge when she was growing up!"
"No, but I know her now and I find it hard to believe she was ever perfect."
"She wasn't," Riley admitted. "But she never got mixed up with the law – not unless you count the time she was five and stole a lollipop. I made her take it back to the shop and she said she thought they'd take her to jail, so we just went back in and she dropped it back on the pile when they weren't looking."
Declan smiled at the story.
"You can't blame me for not being wild about you. You got her pregnant, you both got married and now you live in this tiny house with another one on the way. She looks so tired. She still wants to be a doctor."
"We have enough," Declan said angrily. "We have each other. We're happy with our life. You know Didge, stubborn and more hardworking than anyone else. She will be a doctor."
"Would you choose the same life for your daughter?"
"It won't happen to her," said Declan, echoing Bridget and clenching his fist. "And if somehow it did, the only thing I'd care about was making sure she did what was right for her. Bridget did what was right for her. She can choose whatever's right for her even if it's not what we did."
"Would you want her to marry whoever it was?"
"I'd probably have killed the guy before they could even think about that," Declan admitted. "But I'd never want Indy to marry someone because she felt she had to. Ever. We're not like that. We didn't get married because Bridget got pregnant, we got married because we love each other very much. And if that guy stood by India and they loved each other the same way I wouldn't stop them from getting married."
"But you'd still want to kill him."
"I'd probably still have the urge to throttle him."
"I still have the urge to throttle you," Riley said frankly. "Even though I know you love each other and you all seem happy."
"I don't blame you for being angry with me," Declan said wearily, "but isn't it time you let that go? We're all adults now. We're not scared teenagers anymore. Your sister's a grown woman. We are happy. It doesn't matter that we're not rich. You don't have to like me. I'll never stop loving her however you feel. The only reason I'd want you to like me is that it would make Didge happy. I don't want her upset."
"That's why I'm trying to like you," Riley said. "Because I know you love her. I do. But...you don't have a little sister do you?"
"No."
"Maybe if you did you'd understand."
"Maybe. I'm glad you're trying to like me anyway. I'll try and like you. Deal?"
"Deal."
They shook on it.
Bridget came out, dressed, holding India's hand.
"Sorry," she said. "India was having a game with Ruth and her teddy."
She looked out of the window.
"The sun's out!" she said happily. "It should be like this on Christmas Day, that'll be nice, won't it Indy?"
"How long is it until Santa comes?" she asked in excitement.
"Not too long."
"How many hours?"
"A lot. You've got the whole day before you go to sleep. How about we go to the park?"
"Yeah!"
"You can stay another night if you like, Riley," said Bridget. "We're going over on Saturday anyway."
"Thanks, but I promised Mum I'd help her with shopping and getting the house ready."
"Okay." Bridget felt a little disappointed. "You know with Mum she'll yell at you if you try and actually help."
"I'm more there for Dad," said Riley. "I think he needs some company!"
"You're probably right. Well, do you want to come to the park with us?"
"I would, but Mum's cleaning mania has probably started already. I might take Dad out somewhere."
"I'll see you tomorrow then." Bridget gave him a hug. India gave him a big cuddle and he awkwardly shook hands with Declan.
"Bye!" They waved him off as he drove away in his van.
"Did you say something to Riley?" asked Bridget, staring at Declan. "You looked guilty when I came out."
"We may have said a few words."
"Dec!" graoned Bridget. "Promise me you didn't tell him you'd hit him."
"They weren't bad words. Well...we're not best mates or anything. But we're going to try and like each other."
"I never thought I'd see the day!" Bridget said in amazement. "Promise you'll keep trying tomorrow?"
"Yes. Have some faith!"
"I know he can be a pain," said Bridget. "But he's my big brother. I think he still sees me as a little girl."
"What were you crying about?"
Bridget's good mood vanished.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Bridget, please."
"Don't you think you should count yourself lucky?" asked Bridget, taking the pillows off the sofa and trying to change the subject. "You married the only woman who doesn't want to talk."
"I'd rather you did talk. I hate it when you bottle things up."
"Well sorry, this is staying bottled. For now, anyway."
"But why?" Declan exclaimed. "We're married, we should tell each other stuff!"
"It's private!" Bridget snapped. "I do not have to tell you every single thing just because we are married!"
"I'm not asking you for a blow-by-blow account, I'm just asking you why you're upset!"
"It's private!" she repeated angrily. "I'll tell you when I'm ready! Stop going on at me!"
"I am not going on at you!"
They glared at each other.
"Look," said Declan evenly. "I'm not trying to harass you or anything like that. I just hate it when you're upset."
"I will tell you," said Bridget. "Just not right now. I don't want to think about it now."
"Okay," said Declan, giving up. "Let's take Indy to the park."
So they took her to the park and Teddy as well and their argument was forgotten as they enjoyed the day and pushed India on the swings. India wouldn't go to sleep that night. Bridget had known that she probably wouldn't but it was annoying all the same.
"Look, Santa can't come if you don't go to sleep!"
"But I can't go to sleep Mummy!" India exclaimed. "I'm not tired!"
"Okay." Bridget read her a story. "Now it's time for bed."
"Mummy!" India grizzled again and Bridget groaned and went up.
"I'm too hot and so's Teddy and Ruth."
"How about if I take away your doonah? Are you too hot now?"
"No. Can I have some water – please?"
Bridget brought her some up, hoping that would be the last of it, but no, she got up three more times and Declan had to read her a story as well, with India saying she wanted to stay out of bed to see Santa when he came up the stairs and that she'd pretend to be asleep.
Finally it was silent at midnight.
"You do the Santa presents."
"No, you."
"I'm the pregnant one."
"I went up the last three times!"
"Oh fine. Spare some thought for your poor pregnant wife..." Bridget teased him and took the presents up. She laughed when she saw that India had fallen asleep sitting by the door and put her back in bed.
"Not asleep," she mumbled, but clearly was, or almost anyway.
"Shh." Bridget put her back and tiptoed downstairs.
"SANTA CAME!" India ran and jumped on her parents the next morning.
"India," mumbled Declan. "It's 6AM."
"The sun's up, that means you have to get up too! Santa came!"
She jumped around on the bed.
"Watch where you're jumping." Bridget sat up and rubbed her eyes and resigned herself to the fact that Christmas had begun, for India at least.
"He came when I was asleep!" India complained, puzzled. "And I woke up back in bed but I sat by the door!"
"He doesn't arrive until little girls are asleep. Now, what did he bring you?"
At eleven they all went to Miranda's and India wriggled uncomfortably in the back seat of the car, annoyed that she had had to wear a dress.
"Be grateful it's not pink. I had to wear a pink dress on Christmas day," Bridget told her.
"Yuck! Pink, ugh!"
The house looked lovely, Mum had done it again, and she had also cooked a fantastic dinner, but the pudding turned Bridget's stomach just like it had before.
"Sorry." She had to leave the table.
"Why's Mummy sick?"
"The baby makes her feel funny."
"What a naughty baby!"
Bridget recovered in time for a round of backyard cricket, however and she, Declan and India won and they ran round the yard in victory. India opened her presents. She was absolutely thrilled with the rollerskates and skipping rope and tried to put the skates on in the house before Bridget stopped her, but she didn't seem happy with her big sister book, even though she said, "Thank you," in a small voice.
"What's wrong?" asked Riley when they were alone in the room. "Don't you like reading? I don't like books much either."
"No, I like reading," his niece replied. "My favourite's The Faraway Tree."
"I never read that one, but I think your mum did once. Why don't you like this one?"
India shrugged.
"It's about the baby."
"It's about you. It's about you being a big sister!"
"I don't want to be a big sister."
"Why not?"
"They won't play with me anymore."
"Yes they will. Of course they will. And you'll get to help."
"Mummy and Daddy keep telling me I'm a big girl but I don't want to stop being the baby."
"It's not so bad being the eldest. I should know. They look up to you and you can boss them around a bit."
"But it's going to be a baby for ages," India complained. "Babies are boring. They just cry."
"I remember when your mummy was a baby," Riley told her.
"Mummy was a baby?" India looked very surprised.
"Everyone was a baby once. Even your grandma and nan. I liked being a big brother. She wasn't that boring. It's nice having a little sister or brother. I like being one."
"But you don't see us much," India commented honestly.
"I'll try to more. Come on, let's go and play."
The rest of Christmas was fun and they played all the silly Christmas game, helped India with her rollerskates and watched a film but finally it was time for bed.
"Come on Little Miss," Declan told her. "I think it's time for you to go to bed."
"I'm not tired," she argued but she didn't sound very sure and she let Declan carry her to the car without complaint.
"Bye," Bridget said to her family and she gave her brother an extra hug. "How much longer ar you here for?"
"A couple of weeks."
"We'll meet up before you go. Thank Mum and Dad – it was great. Well done."
"Thank your mother," Steve commented. "Miranda kicked us out."
"I did not kick you out!"
"She may as well have done, didn't she Ri?" Steve turned to his son. "She said we'd stay out of the way if we knew what was good for us!"
Miranda turned red and Bridget laughed.
"I'd better go."
She drove them all back and they all felt happy, unknowing that someone had seen them that day at the park and had decided that it was vital they were seen again – one of them, anyway.
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Post by Bee on Mar 12, 2010 5:12:13 GMT
ooh i think i know who this is (:
they were great Sophie! i finally got around to reading them!
i love this story and as always i cant wait for more!
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Post by sophie on Mar 13, 2010 13:48:59 GMT
Bridget checked her emails. She and Declan had two weeks off work after Christmas, which was fantastic, and happily she drank her cup of tea as her husband and daughter played some sort of game in the next room. It was so nice to have a break. There was an email from Rachel.
Hey Didge, I’m coming back for a visit next week and I’m staying for ten days. I miss you heaps as I always do so can’t WAIT to see you, Dec and Indy! I was thinking we should have a catch-up with Donna – the old girly gang (only of course you’d never call us girly!). What do you think? Get back to me! London is great but way, way too cold! Love you, Rach xxxx PS: Say hey to Dec for me! It’s still so funny to me that you hated each other when you first met!
“We didn’t hate each other,” Bridget mumbled, as though Rachel could hear her. But it was funny to her too. If someone had told her at sixteen that she would marry the boy who taught her cousin to steal she would probably have hit them, with a good yelling on the side. And if they had managed to convince her she would probably have gone into shock. Especially if they also told her she would a child with him at seventeen. And yet...there had been something there, all those years ago, even though she had claimed to severely dislike him, not quite hated. He’d made her feel a way no one else had anyway.
She heard the shrieks of laughter from the sitting room and they tumbled in, making Bridget laugh too. Declan had a big silly smile and was twirling India round. It was impossible to imagine him stealing now, or teaching anyone else to. He’d been absolutely furious with India when she had tried to take a little sweet near the counter in a shop last year and made her promise to do nothing like it again.
“Declan, be careful!” Bridget shouted as he held India upside down for a moment. He certainly still had his reckless streak.
“She’s fine Didge! It was only for a moment!”
“I’m fine Mummy!” India said, giggling again.
“Be careful,” Bridget said again.
“Sorry.”
“Rach emailed,” Bridget told him, going into the kitchen. “She’s coming down for a visit.”
“Awesome!” Declan said, hoisting India onto a chair. “It’ll be like the whole gang together again!”
“Yes, only Ringo’s in Sydney,” Bridget said, getting a glass from the cupboard. “I’m going to have a day out with her and Donna.”
“You three were always inseparable,” Declan remarked, smiling. “I don’t think it’ll be any different when she comes up – it’ll be just like the old days.”
“The old days,” Bridget scoffed. “You sound like a granddad Declan Napier! It wasn’t that long ago!”
“No, not really, but it feels longer sometimes.”
“Sometimes it does to me too, and then other days it feels like yesterday that I was seventeen.”
“You’ll be acting seventeen when she comes up. Spending the whole day giggling and comparing your boyfriends!”
“Is that what you think girls do all day?” asked Bridget laughing, “Sit round discussing our significant others? Rachel and Donna don’t even have boyfriends!”
“Clothes then!” said Declan, but he laughed.
“With me?”
“No, probably not,” Declan admitted. “I don’t know what it is you chicks do all day but I am curious as to how you can spend about ten hours catching up and then do the same the next day, oh yeah, with a phone call on the side that lasts two hours.”
“It’s a female mystery.”
“Clearly. You won’t spend a year on the phone when you’re older will you?” Declan asked his daughter but she just said,
“What’s a female mystery? Is it like Sherlock Holmes?”
Bridget and Declan laughed at her.
“I think it is sometimes,” Declan said and Bridget gave him a shove.
“Damn, we’re out of milk!” Bridget said. “And bread.”
“Do you want me to go to the shop?”
“No, I’ll go. I feel like a walk.”
“Daddy, can we play some more?” India asked again.
“You play with her; I’ll only be five minutes,” Bridget said.
“Okay.”]
Bridget set off down the high street, feeling happy to be out of the house. It was a beautiful sunny day and she considered spending the afternoon in the park. It was so nice having a day off work. She paid for the milk and bread but saw to her dismay when she left the shop that it had started to cloud other and it felt like it would rain.
“What are you doing?” she asked the sky angrily. “It’s summer!”
Feeling slightly disappointed, she started to walk back. She was half way down the street when suddenly she heard someone call,
“Bridget!”
Bridget froze. It was a voice she had not heard for a very long time.
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Post by Bee on Mar 13, 2010 22:53:27 GMT
ooooh Sophie hate to leave me on a cliffhanger!! haha!!
That update was great i was grinning all through it, i love your Declan/Indy relationship!
I cant wait for Rachel to come back! it'd be nice to read about the three of them again!
as always i cant wait for more!
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Post by sophie on Mar 14, 2010 20:16:18 GMT
She slowly turned round and there was Joanna. Bridget couldn’t speak.
“Bridget,” she said again and gave a nervous smile. “I’m so glad I saw you.”
Bridget still couldn’t talk and just stared at her.
“I saw you on Christmas Eve,” Joanna continued. “I couldn’t believe it was you.”
“You’ve followed me?” Bridget suddenly recovered her ability to speak.
“I didn’t follow you,” Joanna said in defence. “It was by chance. I’ve seen you a few times since – you live round here?”
“Yes,” Bridget said shortly.
“You all looked wonderful in the park,” Joanna said fondly. “Very happy. ”
“We are happy,” Bridget said coldly and she felt herself getting angry. “Like you said we wouldn’t be.” Joanna looked hurt and startled. What right did she have? Bridget thought angrily.
“I never said you wouldn’t be,” she said, sounding on the verge of the tears. “I was scared for you...I was in the same position all those years ago, only I was just fifteen when I fell pregnant. Sixteen when Riley was born.”
“I’m not you!” And how could she be scared for her?
“I didn’t mean you were,” said Joanna pleadingly. “But I was pregnant young...everything was so hard after that. Mum threw me out. She said I’d disgraced her and myself and I’d wanted so hard to be an adult I had the chance to found out....”
“Mum and Dad were wonderful! I’m sorry that happened to you,” Bridget said, feeling tears coming. “But we were different. Declan stuck by me. You said he wouldn’t!”
“I didn’t!” Joanna cried. “Your father stuck by me but it wasn’t much easier. We fell into a rut, we worked so hard and then suddenly I got pregnant again. We thought it’d be okay and then he died...it all got on top of me after that. I couldn’t look after two children under the age of seven by myself. I didn’t want the same for you.”
“I’m not you,” Bridget said. It seemed to be all she could say. “You told me I couldn’t do it and we could.”
“Bridget, I never meant that you wouldn’t be able to...I just know how it can go wrong.”
“It went right for us,” Bridget said firmly. “Look at how happy we are...”
Joanna smiled. “I’m pleased it worked out for you.”
“I’m pregnant again,” Bridget told her suddenly.
Joanna’s face changed slightly but she smiled again.
“Congratulations...”
She said it in a way that was neither completely happy or disappointed, like with Riley. It seemed they knew instantly it would be more hard for she and Declan than the rest of her family, but Bridget banished that thought instantly. She wasn’t her family.
“Thank you.” Bridget didn’t want to feel that she had to reassure her but she did anyway. “We are happy about it.”
“That’s good,” Joanna said in relief. “Do you know what you’re having?”
“It’s too early to know the sex, but we’ll probably keep it a surprise.”
“I’m sure it’ll be beautiful, just like your baby girl.”
“India,” Bridget told her. “Her name is India.”
“She looks like you.”
“How would you know?” Bridget cried suddenly.
“I didn’t mean –“
"Riley's here," Bridget told her and Joanna looked so sad.
"Where?"
"He's visiting Mum and Dad," she told her but not where.
“I have to go,” Bridget told her. “This stuff has to go in the fridge, Declan and India are waiting for me...”
“I live just a few streets away,” Joanna said pleadingly. “Don’t leave it like this Bridget...”
“I have to go,” she said stubbornly again.
“I have pictures of you and Riley. I’ve taken them with me wherever I’ve gone....”
This really was too much.
“I’m going,” Bridget said and she started walking away.
“You’re beautiful Bridget!” Joanna called tearfully after her but she kept walking.
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Post by Bee on Mar 15, 2010 0:24:08 GMT
I hope Bridget and Joanna form a relationship i'd love to see how Bridget and Declan would handle that!
Once again, cant wait for more!
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Post by sophie on Mar 16, 2010 16:07:08 GMT
The rain had started by the time Bridget reached the house and she couldn’t stop the tears from pouring down her cheeks. Somehow she managed to put the key in the lock and she took a deep breath, composed herself, pushed open the door and then when Declan and India came up to meet her it all hit her again and the tears came streaming back. She hated crying, but Bridget just couldn’t stop it.
“Didge!” Declan gently took the shopping from her and held her. “What is it? What’s happened?”
“Why are you sad Mummy?” India asked. “Did the rain make you unhappy?”
“Sweetheart, can you go and play in your room for a little while?” Declan asked her.
“Why?”
“Just for a little while. Can you be a big girl and do that?”
“Okay.”
“Good girl.”
India ran upstairs.
“The milk’s going to go off,” said Bridget, snivelling and wiping her eyes.
“Forget the milk.” Declan led her into the sitting room.
“What’s happened?” he asked her gently.
“I...I ran into Joanna,” cried Bridget and it set her off again. Declan tensed.
“Joanna Joanna? Your birth mum?”
“I don’t know any other Joannas!” said Bridget, desperately wiping her eyes again.
“But...does she live round here or something? How did she see you?”
“She saw us on Christmas Eve,” Bridget told him. “In the park. She lives somewhere round here. I think she wants contact again.”
“Well she can forget that!” said Declan angrily. “Look what she did to us last time!”
“It wasn’t all her fault...” said Bridget, though she didn’t really know why she was defending her.
“She told us to adopt out Indy!”
“She didn’t say that exactly. I was already so frightened...”
“And she played on it!” exclaimed Declan. “You were nowhere near as freaked out before!”
“I think I was, I just hadn’t acknowledged it. It was scary.”
“Well she scared you more. Where did she go?” Declan demanded. “Making you cry again and she can’t have gone far, I’ll tell her to leave you alone!”
“Declan, don’t you dare!” Bridget jumped up.
“But-“
“No! I’m fine,” she insisted. “It was the shock of seeing her more than anything. Don’t go looking for a fight. Just leave it. None of it matters anyway – I don’t know even where she lives.”
“She could know where we live.”
“I don’t think she does and if she does, we’ll...we’ll just deal with it when the time comes,” Bridget decided wildly.
“I hate seeing you so torn up by her.”
“I’m not torn up,” Bridget insisted again. “I’m really not.”
“Ms Bridget Stubborn Parker – you think you can deal with anything!”
“I can deal with this. Now, the milk does need to go in the fridge or I totally wasted that money,” said Bridget firmly, and she got up.
“Didge –“
“Do you want a drink?”
Declan knew he couldn’t push her on it.
“Sure.”
They were drinking their coffees a little later when Bridet suddenly said,
“You know I was crying with Riley the other day?”
“Yes.”
“Well...it was because of Joanna. And Riley. He can remember her and he told me he couldn’t for all this time.”
Declan was shocked.
“Are you angry with him? I would be.”
“I was at first,” Bridget admitted. “But I’m not anymore...it was hard on him, he can remember before we went into care. He can remember so much more than me. He spent half his childhood there and he’s been angry with Joanna for years. It’s all I knew – I had more wondering than anger.”
“Yeah.”
He held her hand.
“I don’t really know what to say.”
Bridget squeezed his hand back.
“It’s okay. Just being here and listening to me is enough.”
Bridget thought of Riley that night and what he would say about what had happened. She considered for a moment not telling him but that felt underhand and unfair. He had a right to know where she was at least so Bridget called his mobile before she got ready for bed.
“Hi Didge! How come you’re ringing so late?”
“Riely...” said Bridget nervously.
“Spill it,” he said instantly, as if they were children again.
“I saw Joanna,” she said, getting straight to the point.
There was a minute silence.
“Are you still there?”
“What?” said Riley hoarsely.
“I saw Joanna today. This morning. She lives near us, me, I mean, she wonders about us...I think she’d want to see us again.”
“I don’t want to see her!” Riley said angrily.
“Okay.”
“I don’t! Don’t sound so calm! You’re not calm! I don’t want to see her and she doesn’t have the right to want to see me. I wondered where she was for months, more than that and she promised to see me...”
“It’s okay Ri,” said Bridget soothingly.
“No, it’s not!” her brother shouted. “I wish you hadn’t told me!”
“I thought you had a right to know!”
“I....I just don’t want to see her.” He sounded tearful.
“Okay.”
They talked a little longer and then Bridget hung up, feeling terrible.
“You’re still upset about this,” said Declan, coming out of the bathroom. “I know you are. You don't have to pretend to me, Didge. You shouldn’t keep this to yourself, it’s not good for the baby as well as not for you.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. It’s over anyway. The baby’s fine.”
“You can’t get stressed!”
“You’re making me stressed!” Bridget shouted, knowing at the back of her mind she was being unfair but not listening to it. “I’m not upset and the baby’s okay too!”
“Fine!” Declan shouted. “Don’t talk it out! Keep it to yourself and not sleep and shout at me and Indy tomorrow – let it out then!”
“Oh...let’s just go to sleep.”
“Fine.” Declan grumpily got into bed.
“You’re not fine.”
“Neither are you.”
“It’s complicated, Declan,” said Bridget sighing, letting the wall down a bit. “It’s not something I can just ‘talk out’. It’s not like you love sharing everything either.”
“Well, no,” Declan agreed. “But I try not to bottle things up. I try to let you in.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, but I do want to let you in on how I feel. It's just hard.”
“Okay.” Declan took her hand. “Talk about it when you feel like it.”
“I will.”
They uneasily fell asleep.
Declan went to the shop again tomorrow, taking India with him, and Bridget sat alone with the thought of Joanna haunting her mind. She lived round here....she had had so many questions since her childhood. Surely it would be better in the long run to get them, she told herself, rather than to just wonder and have Riley become upset with her. Joanna couldn’t hurt her and was she really a bad person? And even if it all did go to pot no one could say she hadn’t tried. Bridget got out the Yellow Pages and, heart pounding, she looked up HALE. One entry. Was it them? Number 12 Lark Lane...she dialled the number, her heart going faster and faster.
“Hello?” Bridget was surprised, it was a child’s voice, and then she remembered it was probably Josie or Clara.
“Hello,” Bridget said. “Is there a Joanna there?”
“Yeah,” said the girl. “Hold on.”
There was a muffled sound as Josie or Clara put her hand over the mouthpiece and Bridget heard a bellow of,
“Mum! Someone’s on the phone for you!”
Then there were footsteps and the sound of the phone being handed over and Joanna said,
“Hello? Hello? Who is this?”
Bridget’s nerve failed and she mumbled,
“Wrong number.”
“Bridget? Bridget is that you? Don’t hang up!” but Bridget did.
She felt ashamed of herself and then the phone started ringing again instantly. Come on, Bridget told herself, you called her to get answers and you won’t get any if you lose your nerve. She picked up the phone.
“Bridget?”
“Yes.”
“How did you find my number?” Joanna asked joyfully.
“Yellow Pages.”
“Oh.” Joanna gave a small laugh. “I suppose that’s obvious.”
There was a short pause.
“Why are you ringing?”
Bridget took the plunge.
“I want to see you,” she said. “Not to become mates or anything but because..I want to ask you some stuff. And no one else will tell me it.”
“Of course.” Joanna sounded like she couldn’t believe it. “When?
“Tomorrow.” Declan would understand, wouldn't he?
“You can come to my house if you like. Eleven?”
“All right.”
“I’ll see you then,” said Joanna awkwardly.
“Yes. Goodbye.”
Bridget hung up, feeling more nervous than ever.
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Post by Bee on Mar 16, 2010 21:28:09 GMT
ooh i wonder how Declan will react?! and I cant wait to see what this conversation will be about!!
as always i love this Sophie and i cant wait for more!!
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Post by sophie on Mar 18, 2010 23:33:24 GMT
“I thought we could take India to that play centre tomorrow,” Declan said later that day. “She absolutely loves it there and we should take her at some point this holiday.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Well, yeah,” said Declan, confused. “I thought it’d be a good plan – take Indy there for the day and then drop in on Mum for tea, but we should probably go early because it’ll be swarming with kids. Did you have plans?”
“Sort of.”
“What plans? Rachel isn’t coming for another week.”
“It’s not that.” Bridget looked down for a moment. “I rang Joanna and said I’d see her tomorrow.”
“You what?” Declan stared at Bridget, his mouth agape. “Why? I thought you never wanted to see her again!”
“I didn’t say that.” Bridget started arranging the papers on the table.
“Well, you acted like it!” said Declan, frustrated. “You came in crying! Remember how angry you were last time? You said it didn’t matter because we wouldn’t see her again! You said we didn’t have to worry about her contacting us and I suppose you were right because now you’re contacting her!”
“Stop it!” Bridget shouted, flinging down a paper. “Just stop it! You don’t know what this is like! I have to know what it was like before – I have to. No one can tell me, can they? The only person who can remember is Riley and he doesn’t want to and he was only six at the time.”
“I...why do you have to know? We’re happy...you’re happy....”
Bridget gave him a look.
“Oh don’t look like that. I don’t know what to say. I know I’m stuffing this up, but she upsets you and stresses you out and it’s not good for you, especially now.”
“You’re not a doctor!”
“I don’t have to be a doctor to know that! Everyone knows that! I just don’t want a repeat of last time where she devastated you and everything went so wrong. I don’t think I want to see her.”
“You don’t have to. Look,” said Bridget, trying to find the right words, “this isn’t going to be like last time. I’m not seventeen. I’m not frightened – well, I am a little, but not in the same way. I’m going to find answers. I might get a bit upset but not dangerously so.”
“How can you know that?”
“I do. I can’t spend the next six months not doing anything that might upset me a little. I have to do this now. Can you understand?”
Declan sighed. He half wanted to say no, he couldn’t understand, it was stupid of her but he knew she wouldn’t listen and it really wasn’t something she was doing carelessly. It was because she had to and he knew just from looking at the desperation in her eyes.
“Yes,” he said, and gave her a hug. “I understand. Go tomorrow.”
“You should still take Indy to the play centre,” said Bridget into his shoulder. “I can meet you at Rebecca’s.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. If you want some time to yourself.” Declan groaned slightly. “I was banking on you for adult company. It’s just going to be me bored solid for two hours while she has a whale of a time and then scares me lifeless when she slides down one of those huge poles they have or climbs up a slide or something.”
Bridget laughed. “Well, she’s an adventurer. And don’t worry, she’ll be telling me every detail so I’ll be just as bored as you.”
“Do you think it will tire her out?”
“No.”
“Me neither.”
So the next morning, after a very early wake-up call from their daughter, Declan and India set off to the play-centre, India racing to the car and Declan already looking tired. He had made the mistake of telling her the night before and was paying the price.
“Have fun!” called Bridget as they drove off and India waved out of the window.
The happiness she had felt left when they had driven off and Bridget wished it was closer to eleven. She had so many questions that she considered making a huge list but they all swarmed in her mind and created more. She had no idea where to begin. Finally it was half past ten, and after consulting the map, Bridget walked over. It was a nice area Joanna lived in and her street was lined with trees. Number eight, number ten, here it was...number twelve Lark Lane. Bridget swallowed and rung the bell and Joanna answered, looking equally as nervous.
“Hello,” she said. “Sorry the place is a bit of a mess...”
Bridget stepped in. There was a painting of a boat on the wall.
“I painted that,” Joanna said, nodding to it.
“I’m not very good at Art,” Bridget said. “But I liked painting a lot.”
Joanna gave her a smile.
“Should I take my shoes off?”
“No, don’t worry.”
Joanna led her through to the kitchen. There was evidence of children – a football was in the hall and two bikes, as well as some schoolwork on the sides and then some hair slides and a brush.
“Are Josie and Clara in?”
“No, they’re at their father’s.” Joanna looked guilty. “I haven’t told them about you yet.”
“Oh.”
“Well, I thought they were too young to know before...maybe I should tell them now?”
“They have a right to know.” Bridget felt embarrassed being asked to decide this. “How old are they?”
“Clara is ten and Josie is twelve. Nearly a teenage nightmare. A twelve-year-old nightmare!”
“She’ll grow out of it,” said Bridget, though she didn’t even know her half-sister. “I did. I’m sure I was annoying at twelve.”
“She’s still hung up about the divorce,” said Joanna, sighing. “She’s so angry with me – with both of us – her father, that is. She won’t talk to me about it. She’s always off on her bike or shut up in her room.”
“Sorry about that.”
“We just grew apart. David – the girls’ father – he can see them whenever he likes and he always sees them on weekends.” “That’s good then.” Bridget didn’t know what to say. “What was my father called?” she asked suddenly.
“Thomas,” said Joanna, looking sad. “He was three years older than me. The fit my father threw when I brought him home!” she said, laughing a little. “I thought he was so dangerously cool. He had black hair and he rode a motorbike. I couldn’t believe that he paid any attention to me – no one could.”
“How did he die?”
Joanna looked sad again.
“A car crash. It was so awful. You had been born that day – very early – and he went to buy a few things from the shop. He said, I’ll only be half an hour, he gave me a kiss and then you a kiss and then he was gone. I thought I would never stop crying. A driver ran a red light.”
Bridget started crying. She couldn’t imagine losing anyone that way and on the day your child was born...it should be a day of celebration. She didn’t think she could bear it.
“It was terrible,” said Joanna, wiping her eyes. “I stayed in hospital an extra three days. I felt so alone. No one brought Riley to see me or you.”
“He said he remembered staying with a couple...”
“The Andersons,” said Joanna, nodding. “They were kind. They lived in the next flat. But everyone said it was for the best that Riley didn’t know, not straight away anyway, and not see me so upset...I didn’t agree but I felt so....so away from everything that I just agreed. It was like I was in my own world.”
Bridget’s heart went out to her.
“Did anyone come to see you?”
“My best friend, Madeline. She was wonderful. She came to see me, but she didn’t live very nearby and then she moved. My mother disowned me you know – she wouldn’t have come.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Joanna said. “I think you kept me hanging on. You looked so curious, even then.”
“Did I?”
“I have photos,” said Joanna and she went to get them. Bridget felt goosebumps all over her skin – she had only seen one picture of herself as a baby and it was fuzzy and came with her adoption file.
“There you are,” said Joanna, laying them out. “Curls even then.”
Bridget looked at them in wonder. She looked very, very small indeed and, like Joanna had said, she had a few brown springy curls.
“I’m so small!”
“You were two weeks early. I was terrified when I went into labour – I nearly had a meltdown. Your dad took charge; he got Riley to the Andersons, grabbed the bag and the next thing we knew we were on the way to the hospital. I was in labour until five the next morning and we’d gone to the hospital at eight the night before.”
Bridget winced and prayed and prayed that that wouldn’t happen this time round for her. It was months away and the thought still frightened her, even though she had done it once before.
“India was early,” she told her. “I gave birth to her at a music festival in a tent.”
Joanna looked dumbstruck. “I don’t think I could have done that.”
“Declan held my hand the whole way through.”
“He’s a good man.”
“Yes, he is. I married him just before Indy was born.”
“I saw your ring. Your father and I never married, though everyone said we should. That was another reason my mother disowned me. She said if I was going to be a mother I should be married too, I had disgraced myself so much already. But I paid no attention. I knew it wasn’t right for us.”
“We decided one day.”
“We did love each other then though. I was so happy when you were born, we both were. A little girl...” Joanna smiled to herself. “I got your name from a book I loved when I was younger. It was all about a girl called Bridget who could do magic. I wanted to be her.”
“You like reading?”
“Yes.”
“India loves it as well. I never was much of a reader.”
“Neither was your dad. He loved action and hated sitting around. He whisked me off my feet. Mum and Dad hated him. Mum said she just knew it would happen when I told her I was pregnant.”
Bridget hated her non-grandmother.
“Have you seen her since?”
“No. I sent her a photo of Riley and of you and she wrote back saying that you both looked like my father but that was all.”
“She’s horrible.”
“She was disappointed. She was very old fashioned too. She believed that nothing should happen until marriage and she never wanted me to go out.”
“Did it stop you?”
“No,” admitted Joanna. “Well, I was quite good until I met your dad. We fell out of love in the end but he was a great man and father. He stayed with me and everyone told him not to.”
Bridget was disgusted.
“He was meant to go to university or travelling or both, and everyone told him to say he wasn’t the father and leave me. But he said he loved me and wasn’t going anywhere. He was a good man.”
“It’s wrong that he died.”
“Yes,” said Joanna. “It was. It ruined me. Everything just collapsed on me. I got addicted to the medication. It felt like I couldn’t go through the day without it. And we were so poor – we couldn’t even afford a television and I never had enough to provide for you, or so it felt, and you both always seemed so upset and it felt like I couldn’t give you what I needed and I just thought, they deserve better than this. So I put you into care.” Joanna took her hands. “I did pray for you every night,” she told her. “I did. Both of you. And then I knew you were settled...I knew you were happy.”
“Riley said you promised to see him,” Bridget said, her throat feeling tight.
“I felt so terrible,” Joanna cried. “I didn’t know what to say to him and after it was done everyone said that to do so would unsettle him. I don’t know if they were right or not. But I got reports from the home and then I focused on sorting myself out. I did – it took years, but I did. I freed myself from the addiction, I got work, I found David and had the girls. And I knew you had Miranda and Steve.”
“Mum gave you that money.”
“I was weak,” said Joanna. “Very weak. And then later I thought, I should give it to you both and you were settled. You had a family.”
“I wondered for years,” Bridget told her. “And Riley said he couldn’t remember you and he does. He doesn’t want to.”
Joanna started crying again.
“I don’t blame him,” she said tearfully. “Was he a good brother to you?”
“He was and he is.”
“I knew he would be. He was so protective of you even when you were first born.”
“He can remember holding me for the first time and you telling him to look after me.”
“He was a good boy. He always did.”
Bridget looked at the clock.
“I should go. Thanks..” her voice trailed off.
“Thank you,” Joanna said. “Did you want to come back? You should meet Josie and Clara.”
“Maybe.” It was certainly enough for one day.
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Post by Bee on Mar 19, 2010 0:50:59 GMT
That was excellent Sophie!!
I hope Bridget meets Josie and Clara...i've always wondered what they'd be like!
Cant wait for more!!
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